Chapter VIII - Revisiting and Looking Forward

Walking inside, Courtney paused to look around, noticing the décor that Jason had chosen to decorate the penthouse with. Typical Jason, she thought. Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Courtney spun around thinking that Jason had heard her come in and was coming down to investigate. She was not prepared for what was about to greet her.

Courtney stared in gut-wrenching horror at the person that appeared on the stairs. Elizabeth stood there, dressed only in some see through provocative lingerie. A black lacy teddy hung loosely on her thin frame, the corseted brassiere was laced as tight as it could go but it still hung off of her shoulders. Seeing Courtney standing there, Elizabeth smirked at her and said, “What are you doing here?”

As the nausea rolled in her stomach, Courtney breathed deep. Giving one last look at the scary vision on the stairs, Courtney bolted out the door and into the hallway. Not looking where she was going, she veered towards the elevator and ran smack into a very masculine chest. Her vision clouded by tears, her composure shattered, Courtney looked up into the face of the man that she had once loved.

“You bastard, I can’t believe that you would screw me over too.”

Jason stared in shock at the shattered woman that had run into him. She stood there, her eyes red rimmed and swollen, tears streaming down her cheeks. The face that he saw each night before he went to sleep was devoid of makeup but her natural beauty shone through. The face that he loved was now before him, savaged by emotions that he couldn’t name.

“Courtney, what’s wrong?” he asked, trying to search her eyes. The room had narrowed down until it was just the two of them, the outside world not intruding.

“You bastard,” Courtney whispered the words so low that Jason could barely make them out. Courtney looked at him again and the pain that filled her was evident. Jason felt like he had been punched when the strength of the pain made him physically hurt. Something was wrong. Something was seriously wrong.

As Courtney backed up from him, he tried to pull her back but her reaction wasn’t what he expected. As he reached out his hand to grab her arm, Courtney snapped and all the emotions that she had been feeling bubbled out like lava from a blown volcano.

“You bastard!” Courtney yelled as she caught his arm and twisted it around. Holding his arm in a vise-like grip, Courtney spun and landed a punch into his solar plexus. His arm had been her momentum and as Jason slightly bent over and gasped for breath, Courtney took that opportunity to hook her leg around the back of his knee and push inwards.

As his knee came forward, Jason’s balance was put off and he toppled backwards to the hallway carpet, his ass hitting the floor with a resounding thud. Jason sat there sprawled in shock, rubbing his stomach.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Jason asked, his patience wearing thin as confusion continued to reign over him. “I can’t help you if I don’t know what is wrong.”

Courtney stood over him, watching him. She couldn’t believe that he was sitting there, innocent as day acting as if nothing was happening. “You don’t know what’s happening, you bastard? How about that kiss? What was that? A diversion perhaps? Maybe a little dalliance because the little woman couldn’t satisfy you? What the hell was that?”

Jason looked at Courtney in growing confused. “Courtney, that kiss wasn’t supposed to happen. I mean it did and I’m not sorry but -“

“Oh come on, don’t start trying to spin your tale…it’s too late! Damn, I can’t believe that I thought we once had something. I mean…you kissed me. You kissed me!!!” Courtney’s voice was at a scream now. As she strained her vocal cords, she lowered it, “You kissed me, while your “girlfriend” was waiting for you at home. What kind of man are you?”

Jason stared in dawning horror at Courtney, her words sinking in. You kissed me, while your “girlfriend” was waiting for you at home. Slowly, rising to his knees, keeping his eyes trained on Courtney’s face, he got to his feet. Dusting his pants off, he looked around Courtney.

The world had intruded….

Jason’s eyes widened in shock at the sight that he saw. Liz was standing in the penthouse doorway, the negligee that she had chosen was lose and falling off one shoulder. She stood there, watching the scene, relishing the downfall that Courtney was going through. As Jason watched, Liz placed a finger to her a mouth and slowly licked it. Running her wet finger over her arm, in what she perceived as a provocative manner, she said, “Oh honey, you’re home. I have such a surprise for you.”

The sound of the sugary coated, pathetic whiny voice was too much for Courtney to handle as she stood there, shuddering in the hallway. Grabbing the last of her dignity, Courtney made her way past the stock still Jason.

As Jason shook out of his reverie, he grabbed Courtney. He couldn’t let her go, he had to explain.

Smack, Jason’s head snapped back at the unexpected slap that Courtney laid on him as he reached for her. Courtney’s red handprint rose rapidly on his tanned face, the mark standing out in a huge contrast beneath the dim hallway lights.

“Courtney….”

“Don’t talk to me, don’t touch me, don’t ever come near me again, you fucking bastard. I never want to see you again. I can’t believe you hurt me again.” Courtney hissed, too low for Liz to hear. But the evidence was written all over Jason’s face.

Jason’s hand came up to touch his face as Courtney made her way to the elevators. As he watched her leave, he vowed that he would redeem himself. He would make this up to her. Turning back towards Liz, he stared at her.

“What the hell are you doing here? I told you that we were finished.” Jason yelled as he stalked towards the penthouse. Brushing Liz aside, she bounced off the edge of the doorway as he walked into the penthouse.

Coming up behind him, Liz wrapped her arms around him. ”I know that you said that we were over but I had to try one more time. We haven’t really even started, we need to take it to the next level. We love each other, I know we do.”

“I don’t love you Liz, I never have.” Jason turned around to look at Elizabeth. He wondered if she had actually heard him. Her eyes were glazed over as she watched him.

“Of course, you love me. We love each other, we’re soul mates.” Elizabeth whined, her voice loosing the sugary coating that had been there. Smiling slowly, her hands travelling up her body, Elizabeth reached for the stays of the corseted negligee. As she started to pull them open, Jason stared in shock.

“What are you doing?” Jason asked, his throat opening and closing like a drowning man. He shook his head…he couldn’t believe that this was happening. It was like a episode of “The Twilight Zone”.

As the last stay was loosened, Elizabeth grabbed the sides of the corset and slowly pulled them apart. Skin came into view and Jason quickly averted his eyes as he got a glimpse. Spinning around he stalked to the couch and grabbed the caramel brown blanket off of couch. Walking back towards her, head down, he threw the blanket over her, blocking all skin from sight.

Sighing heavily, Jason looked at Liz. Tears welled in her eyes as the heavy makeup on her face began to slide down, leaving trails of mascara and caked powder on her face. “I told you outside of Kelly’s tonight. We’re over…I can’t be with you…my job is too dangerous and I’m not in love with you. I can’t be with someone I don’t love.” Running his hands over his face, he stared at her.

“But you love me, I know you do. I can feel it. Maybe you don’t know what loves feels like but I know that you love me. I know it.” Liz cried her voice grating on Jason’s nerves.

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t love you. I know what love feels like. I’ve been in love before.” Jason said softly.

“With Robin, yes I know. But that was a puppy love, a first love. It wasn’t what you feel me. You feel a woman’s love for me. I know you do.” Liz wailed, walking closer to Jason, the blanket slipping farther and farther.

“No, I’m not talking about Robin. I’ve been in love before, Elizabeth. I’ve felt the gut-wrenching emotions that pass every time you think of that person, I’ve felt it all. She truly was my soul mate and I fucked it up. I’ll probably never get that feeling back and I can’t settle for less. Once you’ve had it, there’s no turning back.”

“I can make you feel that love again, even stronger.” Liz had reached Jason and she pressed herself up against his chest, the blanket slipping down. Rubbing her chest against his, Liz relished the nanosecond contact before she was rudely jerked away.

Keeping her at arm’s length, Jason grabbed the blanket and wrapped in around Liz until it was completely wrapped around her chest. Grabbing her arm, Jason shook her. “Stop this!” he yelled. “You don’t love me and I don’t love you. I never will, you need to understand this.”

Tears flowing down over her face, Liz looked at him, “You love me, I know you do,” she sobbed.

“Look, I never wanted to hurt you but I think it’s time for you to leave.” Jason motioned towards the door and beckoned her out.

“Jason, you love me,” she whined. “I don’t want to leave you!”

“Dammit, I can’t deal with this anymore. I’ve had enough of your antics for one evening. First Kelly’s now here. You need to quit your half-assed painting and go and become an actress. With that said, Jason grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly towards the door. Stumbling, Elizabeth was half dragged, across the room. Flinging the door open, Jason shoved Liz out the door.

Trying to regain her balance, Liz looked at him. “I do not love you,” Jason slowly enunciated, “I never did. GO HOME. We are over.” Giving her one last look, Jason closed the door and turned the deadbolt.

Slumping back against the doorway, he sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. A faint bruise had begun to form on his cheekbone. Walking towards his desk, he grabbed the phone and dialled a number. As the ringer started, pounding could be heard on his door.

“Let me in Jason!! I love you!! We’re soul mates Jjjjaaaaaaaasssssssoooonnnnnn….I need my clothes if you’re going to keep me out here. What if a guard comes?!!” The whine came through the wood easily and Jason hung up the phone. Punching 9 on the phone, he waited impatiently for the other end to pick up.

“Marco, there is a woman in the hallway up here. Get her out of here and take her home. Yeah, she’s wrapped in a blanket, make sure that you keep her covered it in or you might get an unpleasant sight. Thanks. Oh…and have someone come into the penthouse and get her clothes.”

Slowly, hanging up the phone, Jason stood there…grasping all that had happened.

Why had Courtney come to see him? What had she wanted?

Sighing, Jason reached for the phone again. Dialling her cell phone number, Jason waited anxiously. She always answered her phone but she wasn’t now. As the ringing continued, Jason slowly lowered the phone when he heard the strains of the ‘Star Spangled Banner’.

Knowing that the theme was Courtney’s favourite ringer, Jason started to search penthouse. As he neared the door, the ringing grew louder. Looking to his left, Jason saw it. The little red cell phone was lying in the corner. Jason shook his head as he bent down and picked it up. Running his fingers over the smooth, cold metal, sparks went through Jason as he was transported back in time.

FLASHBACK

As the night air wafted through the loft, Jason stood on the threshold, inserting his key into the lock. Turning the knob, he walked in. Fishing his cell phone out of his pocket, he threw it on the counter and shrugged off his jacket, leaving it to adorn the back of the chair.

As he walked farther into the room, he wondered where Courtney was. She hadn’t answered his calls all afternoon and he was slightly worried about her. “Courtney,” he called out, his eyes sweeping over the living room.

Walking past the coffee table, he saw her keys and purse lying on table. “Court, are you here?” As he called out some more, he walked into the bedroom and heard the faint sobs that came from the bathroom.

As panic skidded up his spine, the fine hairs tingling on his neck, Jason swiftly walked towards the bathroom. Hearing the water run below her sobs, Jason pushed the ajar door open and walked inside. Stopping just inside the doorway, Jason eyes were riveted on the woman who was sobbing her heart out.

The shower door was swung open, water streaming from the head as Jason looked at Courtney crumpled on the shower floor. Her hair flowed heavily down her back as she was curled into a Fetal position. The sobs that racked her body was harsh and tears mingled with the streaming water as they met on her cheeks.

“Courtney, what’s wrong?” Jason asked as he closed the gap to the shower in one stride. Reaching in, he turned off the water and crouched down to meet her. Reaching out, his hand fell on her shoulder and she jerked out of reverie. Jerking her head up in shock, Courtney stared at Jason in alarm.

“Jason,” she breathed.

Leaning over to his right, Jason grabbed a thick, red terrycloth towel off of the heating rack and wrapped it around Courtney’s shivering body.

Stepping into the shower, Jason bent over and scooped Courtney up into his arms, cradling her like a baby. Pressing her tightly into his body, Jason walked slowly into the bedroom. The sun had just begun to set and the dark golden hue filled the room with the last of its rays. Reaching the king size bed, Jason placed Courtney gently in the centre of the down-filled comforter. As he pulled away, the tears began to flow again as he quickly grabbed another towel and dimmed the bedroom lights.

Sitting back down on the bed, he slowly ran the towel gently over her hair, taking the excess moisture with him. As he smoothed the fabric down, he caught the stray droplets that lingered on her face, and then her neck and shoulders. Moving closer, Jason laid the towel to the side and gathered her into his arms.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Jason asked softly, his hands caressing her arms as he felt her shiver. “I tried to call you but I didn’t get an answer.”

“Did you hear about the car accident on Sunset that killed the married couple and their three kids?” Courtney asked in a whisper.

“Yes, I did.”

“I-I was one of the first people on the scene. Oh, Jason. It was horrendous. The screams that came from the car as the children were trapped and then -“

“Shhh baby, it’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Jason tightened his arms around Courtney and began to rock her, murmuring wordlessly in her hair. “Everything’s going to be all right. I promise. I’m here and nothing is ever going to take me away.”

At that statement, Courtney jerked away and stared up at him with wide eyes. “Jason, I need you”

“You have me,” he whispered.

“No, I need you. I need to feel you inside me. If tomorrow never comes I need to feel you inside me. I need you to make me feel alive. I need -“Courtney broke off as sobs wracked her small frame again. “I need you to take away the anguish and the pain that I saw…please!” Courtney pleaded as sje turned in his arms and looked at him.

“Courtney, I’m not sure if this is a good idea,” Jason said as he hesitated. He didn’t want to hurt her.

“Jason, please!!!” Courtney rose up in his arms and brushed her lips above the collar of his shirt, grazing his Adam’s apple. Jason swallowed convulsively as her mouth closed over his pulse and sucked lightly feeling the slow beat of his blood. Tasting the salt and the sweat that glistened on his skin, Courtney’s mouth travelled up his neck, her nose nuzzling the rough stubble.

Reaching his bottom lip, her mouth opened slightly and sucked his lip in. Nipping it lightly with her teeth, she ran her tongue along it, soothing the marks that her teeth had made. Rocking back and forth to gain better purchase, the towel shifted and fell down as Courtney’s mouth fastened tightly onto Jason’s.

Feeling the towel fall, Jason groaned slightly and that was all that she needed to gain entrance. Sweeping her tongue over his plump lips, Courtney slowly pushed her tongue into his mouth. Pulling back, she teased him, allowing her tongue to touch his and then pull away. As the cat and mouse game got more serious, Jason pulled Courtney closer and flipped her over onto her back.

Hovering over her, he took command of the kiss, softly at first and then more forcefully. Rubbing her lips with his, he stroked her mouth with his tongue as he started to devour her. Moving his tongue more forcefully, he cupped her chin and pushed it up, making her mouth open wider as he tangled with her tongue.

Moaning in surcease, Courtney’s hands reached up and clutched Jason’s shirt. The hard muscles bunched underneath her hands as she ran them up and into his hair. The short strands stroked her fingertips and palms as she gripped the tightly, pressing his head further into hers.

Jason pulled back from her and gazed at her with heavily lidded eyes. Courtney’s mouth was swollen and red as he stared at her. Her skin felt tight as the sensations began to gather in her body. Her breasts began to feel heavy and her nipples tightened, as Jason’s eyes swept over her body. Rolling over to one side, Jason quickly untied his boot laces and kicked his boots off.

In the act of taking his socks off, Jason stopped as he felt Courtney’s hot mouth on his back. She had pushed his shirt up and was tracing each vertebrate up his spine, his shirt moving up with every trail of her tongue.

Moving quickly, Jason removed his socks and reached for the hem of his navy blue cotton t-shirt. Gripping it tightly, he raised it over his head and threw it to the other side of the room without disrupting Courtney’s endeavours.

Lowering his arms, Jason reached for his belt buckle, only to be stopped by soft hands covering his.

“Let me do it.”

Jason brushed her hands away as he rolled off the bed and stopped to stand in front of her. Tentatively, her hands reached out, brushing the thick ridge of his erection beneath his pants. Running her fingers over his belt buckle, she slowly lifted the belt up. Running her hands softly over the supple leather, she slowly undid the buckle. Leaving the belt in his pant loops, Courtney looked at the love of her life.

Hard, golden muscles gleamed in the last light of the sun and the hard nipples rose proudly from his chest. Wiry soft hair blazed a trail down his abdomen, trailing off into the waistband of his pants. Courtney licked her lips as she reached for the button on his pants. Grasping the metal button, she slowly undid his pants, allowing her fingers to graze his erection that was growing by the second.

Sighing softly, as Jason moaned, Courtney reached for his zipper. Stopping in shock when she didn’t feel the metal tab, Courtney looked up at Jason.

Jason smiled slightly and winced in pleasurable pain. “They are Levi 501’s; completely button jeans.”

Courtney’s eyes widened and she licked her lips in anticipation. Slowly, ever so slowly, Courtney set about the task of unbuttoning the buttons. Groaning with need, Jason steeled himself for the inevitable touches and accidents as her fingers slowly worked in and out around the buttons.

As she reached the last button, Courtney’s fingers slid into the dark warmth and slowly rubbed her fingers over his boxer fabric. Jason moaned loudly and grabbed her wrist, pulling it out of the danger area. Pushing her back onto the bed, he hurriedly pushed down his pants and boxers and kicked out of them.

Courtney smiled in anticipation as Jason’s erection rose from the thatch of dark hair. Scooting backwards on the bed, she reclined against the pillows as she pushed the comforter down to the foot of the bed. Climbing onto the bed, Jason slowly crawled over to Courtney.

Nudging her thighs apart, he slowly settled himself into the cradle of her body. Propping up on his elbow, he looked at her face, mesmerizing her beautiful features. Slowly, he cupped her chin and looked deep into her eyes.

Seeing their love mirrored back at him, he leaned forward and slowly kissed her. “I love you,” he whispered between kisses. Courtney opened her mouth and allowed Jason access. Moans filled the air as the kisses became more heated.

Jason’s hands ran slowly over her body, his hands cupping her heavy breasts. As her nipples tightened, Jason played with them, rolling them over in his fingers. Lightly pinching them, he left her mouth and trailed down towards the rosy jewels that beckoned to him. As his tongue left a damp trail, he nuzzles his nose between the mounds of soft flesh. Turning his head slightly, he ran his tongue up to jewel and took it into his mouth, sucking gently. As he sucking gently, he played with her other nipple until it was begging for the same attention.

Courtney moaned and pushed Jason’s head towards her other breast, sobbing in frustration. Jason smiled against her soft flesh and obliged her. As he loved her breasts, Courtney’s thighs opened wider. Bringing her knees up, she shifted to get better access.

The tightness in her body was beginning to become unbearable, she could hear the heavy beats of their heartbeats as they aroused each other to fever pitches. Courtney moaned as she arched her hips and felt her wetness caress the tip of his penis. Jason jerked at the sensation and smiled wickedly as he watched Courtney try to achieve the sensation again.

Slowly, he moved his hips, dragging his penis across her swollen lips. Dipping in and out, he seemed to enter her passageway and then withdraw, leaving her to shudder in need. Trailing his hand from her breast, he caressed her soft skin, stopping to play with her navel. In and out, he moved lower, his hand brushing the dark blonde curls that guarded the entrance to his haven.

Caressing the hair once more, he travelled farther down and separated the soft lips of her sex. Moving gently, his fingers became coated in the wetness that engulfed her. Spreading back her lips, he exposed her crowning jewel. Passing his fingers over it, Courtney jerked and moaned in anticipation. She wanted him and he knew it.

As his fingers moved faster, Courtney’s hips began to arch in rhythm with his strokes. Leaning down, Jason took a nipple into his mouth and began a double assault. Courtney’s senses couldn’t handle the overload but she didn’t go over the edge. Grabbing his hand, with the last of her self-control, she puller his head back and looked at him.

“Please, Jason…I want you with me. I need you inside me. Make me feel alive.” Courtney pleaded.

Looking at her, Jason couldn’t resist and slowly he shifted. Tightening his hips, he moved between her thighs and slowly entered her. His thrusts were slow and powerful, as her tight sheath gripped him with every slight movement. Soon, he couldn’t hold back and his thrusts became forceful, moving faster and faster.

Courtney’s hips arched to meet his thrusts and his hand came down to find her clitoris. AS his mouth closed over hers, his finger touched that gentle spot and Courtney flew, shouting out his name. Jason moaned and with a few deeper, powerful thrusts, he let himself go. Exploding inside her, he collapsed beside her as they lay there, regaining their composure.

“I love you,” Courtney whispered, “You make me feel alive…I hope tomorrow always come.”

“I love you, too,” Jason whispered. He reached down and pulled the comforter up around them. Reaching for her, he gathered her in his arms and they fell asleep listening to the sounds of each other’s hearts.

END FLASHBACK

The cold hardness of the hardwood floor took Jason out of his memories as he realized that he had dropped to the floor against the wall. Getting up, he rubbed his forehead. He had to find Courtney, he had to talk to her, and he had to tell her. Walking out of the penthouse, Jason got on the elevator and left to find her.

***********

The wind whistled and the water lapped gently, splashing onto the woman who sat on the docks. Her blonde hair was in tangles, her face ravaged by a night of crying and realizations. She couldn’t believe what her life had become. It was over once again. She couldn’t shake the image of Liz with Jason.

What he saw in her, she’ll never know. She couldn’t believe it. She’d been on the docks since she’d left the penthouse. In her mind’s eye, she kept replaying those scenes over again…she couldn’t believe that he would be so callous. He wasn’t that Jason that she had once known, he was different now.

Everyone changed but she didn’t think that he would have changed that much.

Looking down at her hands, Courtney noticed her wedding ring. It was a plain gold band. A.J. had wanted to get her a platinum wedding ring with a large stone but she couldn’t bear the thought. Simple, that’s what she had wanted. Twisting the ring around, she thought back to her conversation with A.J.

He really did seem to love her and she had feelings for him too. Maybe not the love of her life feelings but they could make it work. She didn’t want to grow old and grey pining away; she wanted to live her life to the fullest.

Raising her hands to her neck, Courtney reached for the chain that hung there. Slowly, unclasping the chain she pulled it off and into her hands. Putting the chain together, Courtney played with the ring, her mind wandering back to better times. Rubbing her fingers over the inscription, she smiled wryly. People shouldn’t make promises that they can’t keep.

Caressing the ring once more, Courtney knew that she had to close that chapter on her life. She had to let go. Slowly, she rose from the docks and allowed her hand to drop to her side. She was going home, back to her “husband”. Back to the man who said he loved her.

As she walked away, her hand tightened spasmodically and then opened, allowing the chain to fall from her grasp. Courtney felt the chain fall but she didn’t look down. She was moving on. Taking a look over the docks into the fog, she took a deep breath and walked away towards her apartment.

*****

Jason walked onto the docks and sighed heavily. He couldn’t find her and she wasn’t answering her cell phone. The one place that he hadn’t checked was her apartment and he wasn’t going too.

As Jason’s eyes looked over the docks for a sign, he noticed a faint light gleamed off the edge of the docks but he didn’t take too much notice. It wasn’t uncommon for the moonlight to bounce off the nails that protruded from the edge of the docks.

Rubbing his hands over his face, Jason sighed, his shoulders slumping. Walking slowly off the docks, the shook his head and knew that the worse was yet to come.

*****

Entering her darkened apartment, Courtney flicked on the lights as her gaze came to rest upon A.J. He was sitting there in the dark waiting for her return.

“Courtney, what are you doing back here?” A.J. asked.

“Shhh. No questions. I came back to answer your question though. I’ve thought about and ---“ Courtney replied.

“What Courtney?” he asked eagerly.

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”