Chapter VII ~ Breaking Down and Rebuilding - Part I

With that said Jason gathered up his proof and walked out the door to his penthouse. Opening the door, he slumped heavily against the wall and groaned, knowing that the worse was yet to come. Fishing his phone out of his pocket, he dialled Courtney’s cell phone.

When he heard her pick up, he started in. “Hey Court, it’s me. I need you to meet me at Jake’s as soon as possible.”

“Yeah…that’s fine; see you in a couple of hours.”

Hanging up the phone, Jason walked over to the French doors and stared out into the rain wondering how he was going to handle telling Courtney the truth.

Jake’s

Rubbing his hand over the green felt of the pool table, Jason sighed heavily and waited with trepidation over the upcoming events. He knew that it was going to be a tough. Courtney wasn’t going to be inclined to believe him at first but he knew that he would be able to get through to her. Walking over to the side table, Jason grabbed his beer and took a healthy swallow, feeling the cool slide of the liquid burn a path down his throat. He hadn’t wanted to have a drink but he knew that he would need fortification to get through telling Courtney. Rubbing his hands over his face, he swore softly beneath his breath. Cursing that prick A.J., along with others, Jason grabbed the pool cue and started to line up his shots. Fast and furious, the pool cue was drawn back and slammed into the cue ball…dropping balls in the pockets as fast as the next shot could be lined up.

As the nine ball made it’s way into the final pocket, Jason felt the hairs on the back of his neck slowly rise at attention. The air started to crackle with the increase in tension and the dim lights made the room seem even smaller and more confined than normal. Raising his head, Jason looked at the woman who had just made her way inside the room.

Sweeping his eyes down her frame, he noticed that she seemed to be a little more relaxed than when he had seen her last. He winced inside with pain, knowing that he was going to shatter that state. Dropping the pool cue, Jason slowly walked over to where she stood. Hesitantly, he reached for her hands and drew her further inside the room. Leading her towards the table, he left her there while he went and shut the door.

Watching him close the door, Courtney knew that something was seriously wrong. She could only remember seeing him act this way once before. That night. The only other time the he had acted like this was that night. The night when her whole world had collapsed.

Shaking the excess water off of her brown leather jacket, Courtney untied the belt. Slowly she took the jacket off, leaving it to drape over the back of the scarred wooden chair. Running her hands through her tangled and wet hair, she tried to dry herself off as much as possible.

Noticing Courtney’s discomfort with being wet, Jason grabbed a clean bar towel that had been hanging from the pool cue rack and walked towards her. Not being able to help himself, Jason slowly rubbed the towel over her hair, soaking up some of the moisture that clung to her hair. Arching her neck back, Courtney allowed Jason to continue to dry her hair.

She had missed this kind of intimacy since they had been apart. A.J. just wasn’t the romantic type unless he wanted something and she felt a little guilty relishing in the intimacy that Jason created whenever he was within sight.

Letting the towel glide one last time over her beautiful blonde hair, Jason dropped it onto the table and pulled away from Courtney. Looking into her eyes, Jason knew that he was going to break her heart once again. The first time that he had done it was because he had been a selfish ass but now he was doing it to save her. Only he doubted that she was going to see it that way.

Pulling away from Courtney completely, Jason started to pace up and down the length of the pool table. Clenching and unclenching his fists. Watching the myriad of emotions cross Jason’s face, Courtney knew that something was terribly wrong. Reaching out, she put her hand on Jason’s tight forearm and stopped him in mid-stride.

“What’s wrong Jase?” Courtney asked, her voice full of concern over the fact that he seemed to be torturing himself with whatever knowledge that he had.

Jason looked down into her eyes, his blue gaze troubled. “I found something out about A.J. It’s not pretty either.”

“What do you mean? What did you find out about A.J.? Wait a minute, why were you checking up on A.J.?” Courtney’s voice had begun to rise as she began to get a little more agitated over Jason’s obvious hesitation.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Jason started to tell Courtney what had happened. Taking her hands in his, he began, “Sonny asked me to look into your marriage to A.J. I know, I know…it wasn’t the right thing to do but he had this bad feeling that something fishy was going on. Sonny told me that when A.J. had first proposed to you, he had tried to trade you to Sonny for Michael. When Sonny didn’t take the bait, A.J. whisked you off to the island and you guys had a quickie wedding ceremony. This was all after Sonny had tried to warn you that A.J. was just using you.”

“Damn it Jason. You had no right to go prying into my personal life. I don’t care if Sonny told you to go searching, I would hope that you would trust my judgement enough to believe that I knew what I was doing.” Courtney’s voice was rising louder as she got more and more upset over the fact that her private life was being pried into again.

“Do you think that I wanted to look into it, Court? I would have gladly preferred to get shot or smacked with a pool cue upside the head. But no, I went out and I checked to make sure that everything was on the up and up with your marriage. Did I do it out of obligation to Sonny or even hatred towards A.J. NO, I didn’t.” Jason grabbed the beer bottle off of the table and started to play with it, not caring if the liquid happened to slosh out as the bottle tipped between his fingers.

“No, I didn’t. I did it because I didn’t want him to hurt you anymore than you had already been hurt. You don’t know how badly I wanted to be wrong. I really wanted A.J. to be the one, you know. The one who could make your dreams come true and be the man that you needed. Especially, after what had happened in the past. I couldn’t be that man when you needed me to be, and I just want you to find happiness.” Jason had lowered his voice so that it was so quiet that Courtney had to strain to make out the last of the words. At that moment, the beer bottle tipped too far over in Jason’s hands and fell with a clatter to the hard wood floor. Seeping slowly out of the bottle, the last of the foamy liquid pooled out and around the bottle.

Crouching down, Jason picked up the bottle and watched the liquid race across the floor to gather in the cracks between the planks. Standing back up he stared into Courtney’s eyes. “I just wanted you to find happiness,” he repeated softly.

“Why couldn’t you have just left everything alone? I was happy. I AM happy.” Courtney said vehemently. Her hands had begun shaking as she felt the world as she had once known it start to crumble above her. Powerless to stop that crumble, Courtney felt herself begin to draw back into her soul.

“Are you really happy Court?” Jason asked. “Or are you just deluding yourself into believing that because you want to be happy, you are happy?”

“Then, I guess if you are truly happy with A.J., this won’t matter. The main reason that Sonny asked me to check into your marriage was because he had already had his private investigator look into it. According to Sonny’s papers, there is no record of a marriage between you and A.J.”

Starting to pace herself, Courtney dragged her hands through her damp hair. “Well, that’s impossible Jason! I was there; I got married on that island. A.J. had it all setup. The Judge, the little flowers…everything.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper as she had realized the enormity of her last statement. A.J. had set everything up, so what did that mean?

Trembling a little more forcefully than before, Courtney felt a few more bricks from her world crumble down at her feet. The house that she had re-built the last time was once again being torn down, brick by brick.

Reaching out towards her, Jason grabbed Court’s unresisting hands. “Look,” he said softly. “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, I wanted to be wrong. I needed to be wrong so that I could leave you in peace. In happiness; but I can’t now.”

“Yes, you can!” Courtney screamed wrenching her hands away from him. “You can just leave me the hell alone. God, it’s like the last two years never happened. We are back at the same place as before … you in front of me deliberately trying to hurt me. Does it fill some kind of sick need for you? You weren’t content to stick the knife in … you just had to twist it too? Do you remember what you said the last time? Let me see if I can get this right, Jason” Courtney sneered. “Quote, ‘Courtney, I want you to be happy. To live your life in peace and happiness. You can’t do that with me. My feelings are all over the place. I know that I love you but I can’t make a commitment until I find out who I am and what I’m doing with my life.’ Unquote” Courtney laughed bitterly as she relived the moments in which her house had crumbled the last time.

“I can’t believe that you had the gall to come and tell me this. Or even to tell me that all you want for me is happiness. You are such a hypocrite, Jason Morgan. You want the best of both worlds. You want me, the beck and call girl; the girl who lived for you and only for you. You want the girl who lived in your past, that looming person who always held you back from commitment to me. And now…now that you’ve seen both of us together, you can’t decide, can you? You don’t know what the hell you want or how you can get it!” At this point, Courtney’s tough façade had completely crumpled and she was shaking like a leaf.

Watching her crumple, Jason wondered if she even comprehended that A.J. had lied to her. It seemed that she was so hurt and angry at him that it hadn’t even sunk in yet. Grabbing his leather jacket off of the other chair, he felt inside the breast pocket for the package of papers and tape recorder.

“Listen; let’s focus on the task at hand. I looked into your marriage and I flew down to the island and talked to the judge who performed your marriage. He told me that you guys weren’t really married. He signed a whole bunch of papers and he let me record the conversation. You really need to look at these.” Jason pulled out the papers and the recorder. Handing them over to Courtney, he watched as she started to look through them.

At first, she thumbed through the papers slowly, reading everything over and over. As Jason watched, Courtney moved quickly through the papers, reading less and less. Soon, the papers had started to rattle in her shaking hands and fell unheeded to the hardwood floor. Grasping the recorder in her hand, Courtney slowly depressed the play button, dreading what she wanted she was going to hear.

As Jason’s voice filled the air from the tiny recorder, Courtney stood in silence, her body shaking as she listened. She listened to Jason and the judge’s discussion of the marriage and the circumstances surrounding A.J.’s deception. Listening to the last of the tape, Courtney couldn’t handle the pressure anymore. Bowing under the pressure of the bricks that were falling rapidly; not one by one but hundreds by hundreds, Courtney fell to her knees.

Hitting the hardwood floor, Courtney curled into a ball and cried softly, tears running unchecked down her cheeks. Crouching down, Jason tried to gather Courtney into his arms. “Get away from me!” Courtney screamed, her arms lashing out at Jason. Catching him off balance, her arm caught him in the chest and propelled him backwards. Landing on his ass, Jason’s head rapped smartly against the floor. Recovering from his shock at hitting the, Jason watched as Courtney ran from the room and out into the rain.

Grabbing their jackets from the chairs, Jason ran after Courtney. He knew that he needed to get to her before she did something that she would regret. Given her state of mind, he was worried about what she might do.

As he reached the alley outside of Jake’s, he saw her. She was slumped against the brick wall, tears streaming down her face, mixing with the harsh rain that continued to pour down from the dark skies. As the skies continued to unleash their anger upon them, the final bricks shattered around Courtney.

Reaching Courtney’s side, Jason tentatively reached out towards. At his touch on her shoulder, Courtney swung away from him, her eyes burning with intense sadness and anger.

“Why? Why did you have to do this to me?” she screamed. “Why couldn’t you have left it alone? I was happy…my life was back on track, I was finally able to move on from the past.” Courtney swiped angrily at the tears that continued to fall down her face. The world has she had known it was gone, over once again. She wondered how she would be able to pick up the remains from this revelation. Shoving her fingers through her drenched hair, she looked at the man who was standing in front of her. Jason stood there in utter desperation and despair. He didn’t know what to do; he didn’t know how to comfort her. Once again, he was the enemy and there was nothing that he could do to change that fact. Standing there holding their jackets, Jason finally noticed that Courtney was shivering uncontrollably. When she had run out of Jake’s, she had left without her jacket and now she was standing in a soaked long-sleeved white cotton shirt. Her denim jeans were so wet that they looked black in the dim lights that shined in the alley.

Acting decisively, Jason knew that he had to get Courtney out of the rain. Approaching her swiftly, he started to drape the jacket around her but she stopped him. “Don’t touch me!!” she screamed. She backed up a few more steps and the jacket fell from Jason’s hands, landing with a soft splash in a puddle of muddy water.

“Damn it Courtney! I just want to help you get through this.” Jason yelled, his composure starting to unravel as he watched the woman before him fall apart. She wasn’t falling apart because of Sonny or A.J.; she was falling apart because of him and he couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.

Courtney laughed slightly, her words coming out dry and brittle, “The great Jason Morgan, offering to help a beaten and tired soul, where have I heard that before? Sorry Jase, I just don’t need YOUR help.”

Frustrated with himself for hurting her all over again, the rage that Jason had been feeling since he had found out about A.J. broke through its dam and started to pour out of him. “God damn it!! Yes, you do need MY help Courtney. Who is going to help you through this? Sonny and Carly? Mike? You wouldn’t go to one of them with your problems especially about A.J. They HATE A.J. Besides, do they know you like I know you? Do they know your past and the history that is coming back to haunt us? No they don’t!! ONLY I KNOW, and you need my help. Face it, you need my help.”

“No, Jason. I don’t need your help, I’m strong and I can do this on my own. I did it once before when you were the cause, I sure as hell don’t need your help to rebuild this time.” Courtney’s eyes watched Jason as he turned away and faced the alley wall. She started in shock at the anger that exploded in Jason as he drew back his fist and punched the brick wall.

Once, twice…three times, he punched the brick, his knuckles scraped raw and bleeding, until he felt soft hands pulling him back from the edge. The precipice loomed as he fought his way back from the recesses of his mind. Hearing her voice, he blindly reached out towards her, his bruised hand tangling in her hair, holding her head hostage. Turning until he completely faced her, he tilted her head slightly back, creating easier access for his mouth.

Agonizingly slow seconds passed as Jason’s head descended, his lips seeking hers. Courtney knew that this was wrong but she couldn’t stop herself from wanting him. She wanted to feel the softness of his lips, those unforgiving planes of his face, the gentleness of his tongue making its forays in her mouth. As his lips closed the last millimetre of space between them, Courtney resisted slightly, making Jason rest his mouth against hers.

Tilting her head even farther back, Jason brought his other arm up and wrapped it around Courtney, leaving his hand to rest in the small of her back. Pushing her towards him, Jason used his lips to seduce her. Rubbing his lips over hers, he gently swirled his tongue over her lips, making them wet and pliable. Running his tongue over the seam of her lips, Courtney’s breath hitched and her mouth opened slightly, allowing him just enough room to access her mouth.

Giving up the fight, Courtney opened her mouth and allowed him into her. As his tongue made its presence known, Courtney lost herself in the sensation of his kiss. As she reached out towards him, her hands fisted themselves into Jason’s hair, pulling his head even more firmly against her. Tugging on the short, wet strands, Courtney moaned incoherently as his tongue planted itself even more firmly within her mouth. In and out, his mouth moved over hers, the long strokes of his tongue caressing the recesses of her mouth. He was kissing her like he was a man starving for his last breath. Finally, Courtney couldn’t stand it anymore and she went after Jason’s tongue. Wrapping hers around his, they fought for purchase, scrambling and grasping; each of them exorcising demons as they got lost in the pleasure.

Wrenching her mouth away from his, Courtney rested her head on his shoulder; her hands still fisted in his hair. “Jason, we can’t do this.” Courtney slipped her hands from his hair and tried to step back but his arm kept her securely against him. Looking into his eyes, Courtney saw the desperation and the shock at what they had just done course through him.

“Jason, you have to let me go. This never happened. We’re through and nothing is ever going to change that. We can’t go back to what we once had and I don’t want to go back. Our lives have taken us on a different path and although they may converge together they will never stay that way. Please just let me go.” Courtney pleaded, trying to step back away from Jason. The more she was near him; the harder it was to keep her convictions.

Sighing heavily, Jason slowly dropped his hands away from Courtney. Stumbling backwards in her haste to get away from him, Courtney grabbed for her muddy jacket and fell to her knees in the water. Offering his hand, Jason pulled Courtney to her feet. “You need a ride home Court, let me give that to you.”

“No Jason, I can get home myself. Please just leave me alone,” she whispered.

Jason stood there in disbelief as he watched her walk away in the rain. He couldn’t help but think that this was goodbye all over again. Rubbing his hands over his face, Jason thought about what had to be done. He couldn’t fool himself any longer or play out this charade. He had been the one to start it and he was the only one who could finish it.

Fishing his phone out of his pocket, he placed a call. “We need to talk, meet me at the PC Grille, as soon as possible.”



Chapter VII - Breaking Down and Rebuilding - Part II

Through the darkened streets of Port Charles, a woman walked. Alone and desolate, her body chilled to the bone, she walked. She didn’t know for how long she had walked since she had left him standing in the rain. Somewhere along the way, the rain had slowed to a light mist and then to a trickle. How was she going to face him the next time she saw him? How was she going to forget? She didn’t know.

She didn’t know anything except that the bricks had fallen once again. But she knew. She knew that she had to confront A.J. She had to know what the truth was. Swiping her hand angrily through her soaked blonde curls, she reached her street and turned towards her apartment building. The heaviness of her heart and soul was compounded by her bedraggled appearance. Her hair hung wet and limp around her face, her clothes were soaked and her pants were covered in mud. To anyone passing by, she looked like any other vagrant that lined the streets. It was her face though, that separated her from the other homeless people that prowled the city. Her face was not ravaged from disease or hunger, but from the pain that radiated from every pore. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot making the irises even bluer underneath the dim street lights. Those eyes had long since finished shedding their tears but the evidence was unmistakable. Tear tracks streaked the soft skin of her face although the rain had helped to wash them away. The makeup which she had so painstakingly applied early in the afternoon was gone. Rubbing her hand across her face she vaguely remembered seeing the black rivulets of mascara on her hands early as she had wiped away her tears.

She knew that she looked exactly like she felt. Two steps below the lowest form on the earth. Wondering what that lowest form actually was, Courtney pulled open the doors to her apartment building. Taking a deep, fortifying breath, Courtney cringed as the dank, musty air filled her nostrils.

Walking to the stairs gingerly, Courtney sidestepped the garbage that littered the foyer of the building. Her shoulders slumping forward, fatigue caught up with her as she tried to decide how she wanted to get up to the third floor. Climbing the rickety wooden stairs did not appeal to her in her present state but then the rattling death trap of an elevator was her alternate choice.

Deciding to brave the elevator, Courtney punched the button and stood there waiting. Loud creaks and groans filled the air as the cables crackled and snapped. Slowly the elevator ascended from the basement and as Courtney stood there, she couldn’t help but marvel at the past three years of her life. As the elevator doors opened and Courtney hit the button for floor three, she thought back to when the world had been her oyster. It was hard to believe that it had only been two short years ago.

Hitting the third floor button again, Courtney leaned back against the side railing. Snap, Courtney stared in abject horror as the rail snapped off the elevator and fell unceremoniously with a clatter to the fall. Stifling a giggle, Courtney was relieved when the elevator made its screeching halt to her floor.

Moving slowly, she made her way with trepidation to apartment 3C. She really didn’t want to do this. All she had wanted was to be happy. To live her life in happiness. But no, as fate would have it, she wasn’t allowed to be happy even if only it was for a minute. She wondered if she would ever know true happiness. Probably not; but she knew that she would die trying to find it. It had been the one thing that she had only ever wanted; she had thought that she had found it once. She knew better know. That kind of happiness was the type that princesses felt, it wasn’t the happiness of the real world.

Fumbling in the wet pockets of her jeans, Courtney searched for her keys. Pulling them out, she found the proper key and inserted it into the lock. Turning the key slowly, she pushed open the door and walked inside. Spying A.J. on the phone, Courtney shed her jacket and left it in a puddle on the floor. Slipping into the bathroom while A.J. was still occupied, Courtney started to run some water. Orange coloured water filled the sink as Courtney sighed and waited for the rust to run itself from the pipes. Placing her hands under the now clear water, Courtney splashed the cold water on her face, slowly wiping away the last traces of a long crying jag.

Raising her face, she looked at herself in the cracked mirror. She looked like shit but she knew that she to get everything over and done with. The time had come, it was now or never. Straightening her wet clothes as best she could, she briefly contemplated going and changing but she didn’t want to. She wanted to get this over with.

Walking out of the bathroom and into the living room, she stopped and stared at A.J., truly seeing who he was for the first time. Looking into his face, she noticed the signs from decades of hard drinking. Lines were harshly carved into his face and his skin had the faintly yellowish tinge that many alcoholics seemed to have.

Steeling herself, Courtney stood stock still as A.J. rushed over to her. “Courtney, where have you been? It’s almost midnight.” Reaching a hand out to touch her, A.J. was unprepared for the slight shove that Courtney gave him. “My God, you’re soaking wet. Where have you been?” A.J.’s voice rose at the end of his question as his mind started wandering off. He’d been worried because he hadn’t been able to find her. He’d come home and she had been gone.

“I’ve been at Jake’s,” she said, watching A.J.’s face. She smiled inwardly as she watched the anger slowly creep over his face. She knew that this was going to be hard but she was going to use all the resources available to her.

“Jake’s? Why were you there?” A.J. quizzed. He couldn’t imagine any reason why she would go there. They didn’t associate with anyone there. Kelly’s and maybe the PC Grille but definitely not Jake’s. That was a place that Jason would go to. She wouldn’t have met him there, there must be another reason.

Getting impatient, A.J asked her again. “Why were you at Jake’s?”

“I was meeting someone,” Courtney said, taking a degree of pleasure in the shock that A.J. displayed over that piece of news.

“Who?” A.J. asked angrily. God, she better not say Jason, he thought.

Raising her head, Courtney looked at A.J. straight in the eye. “Jason.”

“What do you mean you went to meet Jason? How could you do this to me?” A.J. yelled. He couldn’t believe it; she had gone behind his back to meet him. A.J. advanced menacingly on Courtney but she stood her ground.

“I went to meet him because he asked me to.” Courtney laughed inwardly at the look of confusion on A.J.’s face.

“Why would Jason want to meet with you? I bet it was on Sonny’s orders. God damn it! Why does the Goldenboy have to ruin everything? Tell me what he wanted, what did he say to you?” A.J. started to prowl around the room, visions running through his head about what Jason had told Courtney. But, nothing would prepare him for what she said.

Turning around and walking away from A.J., Courtney made her way into the small kitchen. Opening the refrigerator door, she reached in and grabbed for a bottle of Coke. You can do this, this has to be done. Closing the door, she rested her forehead on the cool metal and sighed heavily. Crossing the threshold into the small room, A.J. stood hesitantly watching his wife as she leaned against the door, her back to him. Underneath the wet cotton shirt, the smooth lines of Courtney’s back were tensed against the barrage of emotions that raced through her.

Harnessing his anger, A.J. tried to breathe deeply and gather his self-control. He needed to find out what had happened. He couldn’t fly off the handle and accuse; he had to listen. Listen, he could do that, couldn’t he?

“Why were you meeting Jason? Just tell me Courtney. I promise, I won’t get mad or yell at you. I just need to know what went on. What did he want? Was it about me? Us? Sonny?” A.J.’s voice rose slightly towards the end as Courtney remained silent.

Stepping a little farther into the room, the air seemed to further tighten as A.J. invaded Courtney’s space. Pulling her head back from the refrigerator door, Courtney turned around to face him. He stared in shock, his wife was crying. Twin streaks of salty tears fell silently from her luminous blue eyes.

A.J. moved slightly, his hand reaching for Courtney’s shoulder. At the last moment, Courtney shifted slightly and A.J. was left grasping air in his clenched fist. “Courtney, baby what’s wrong? Just tell me! Quit playing this pathetic game of making A.J. guess and just tell me!”

“Games???!!!” Courtney yelled, staring at him with wide, incredulous eyes. “Games!!! I’m playing games. Are you out of your mind? I’m playing GAMES?”

Startled by the force of her yell, A.J. stepped back involuntarily. He had never seen her like this. One second she was crying; the next second she was yelling at him. “Well, what the fuck do you call this thing that you’ve been doing? ‘I met Jason at Jake’s. I’m not going to tell you what I’ve been doing with him.’ Do you enjoy torturing me Courtney? You know how much I hate my brother; I can see this as revenge for that night. I thought that we had gotten over this; I thought we were happy.”

“We were happy A.J. We were.” Courtney whispered, the angry tears that had shimmered on her lids slowly beginning to spill over once again.

Shaking his head, A.J. wondered what the hell had gone wrong. What had Jason said? “What do you mean we were? We are, Court, we are.”

“Don’t call me Court!! You don’t have that right, you’ve never had that right,” Courtney spat vehemently.

“What Courtney? I’ve never had that right? Of course I have that right! We’re in love, we’re married-“

A.J. broke off as the harsh sound of Courtney’s laughter filled the air. The hoarse, harsh sounds filled the air, interspersed with short gasps and sobs. “That’s just it, A.J. You don’t have that right, we are NOT MARRIED!”

“Of course, we’re married Courtney.”

“No, no we aren’t. I’m not Courtney Matthews-Quartermaine, the wife of Alan Quartermaine Junior!” she shouted. “I’m just plain old Courtney Matthews, daughter of Mike Corbin and Janine Matthews; sister to Sonny Corinthos and aunt to Michael Corinthos the Third.” Courtney’s shout had dulled to a soft whisper as she finished her thought.

Clutching her hands together, Courtney fought the wave of nausea that hit her as she assimilated the events of the night. Clasping her hands even more tightly, she felt the pressure of her wedding ring cut into the soft skin of her palm. As the tears flowed silently, Courtney surreptitiously pulled the wedding ring off of her finger, leaving her left hand bare.

The movement went unnoticed by A.J. who was staring at Courtney’s face trying to make some sense of her statement. “Courtney, honey, I really don’t understand. You are Courtney Matthews-Quartermaine. You are my wife, I am your husband. We were married in the Caribbean on April 12, 2002. Why do you keep saying that we aren’t married?”

“I keep saying that we aren’t married because that’s the truth. We aren’t married A.J. You orchestrated the whole thing. The ceremony, the judge, the paperwork...you did it all.” Courtney watched A.J. closely, noticing the sheen of sweat that had started to form on his forehead and above his lips.

Courtney’s chest rose and fell rapidly as she forced the words out of her soul. Her throat was tight and dry; her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. But her eyes, her eyes glowed with the hot blue flames of anger while the hot tears continued to rain down her cheeks. Gathering up her remaining courage, Courtney forced herself to continue.

“You did it all. That’s what Jason wanted to talk to me about. He wanted to tell me that you had duped me into believing that I was married to you.” Courtney closed her eyes at the last thought, tears slowly seeping out from under the closed eyelashes. Opening her eyes, she looked at him. “He wanted to tell me that I wasn’t really married to you.”

“Well, he’s lying. We ARE married!” A.J. shouted. He couldn’t believe what was happening. How had Jason found out? He’d paid that Judge very handsomely to forge the documents to make the marriage look legal. How the hell had Jason found out?

“A.J. don’t even think about trying to weasel your way out of this. Don’t even think about giving me a pile of garbage about how you didn’t do it. I don’t want to hear it. Jason has the proof; I just want to know why. Why did you lie to me?” Courtney yelled.

“I didn’t lie to you. There must be some sort of mistake. I bet Jason paid of that Judge to make a false statement about our marriage. He hates me, Courtney. He would do anything to hurt me; even lie and pretend to have information that was false. HE HATES me.” A.J. pleaded with Courtney, desperation creeping into his voice, he had to make her see that he was telling the “truth”. He couldn’t loose her now. He couldn’t.

Smash, crash…A.J. stood stock-still in shock, rooted to the floor by the close call that he’d just had. Courtney had thrown the full bottle of Coke at him. Just missing his ear, the bottle had whizzed by his head and crashed into the wall. On impact, the bottle had shattered into little shards of golden-brown glass and had fallen to the floor; littering the vinyl floor. He couldn’t believe that she had thrown that at him. She’d never thrown anything before; he had always been the one to do the throwing.

“A.J., just give me the truth. That’s all I want; the truth. Why did you lie to me?” Courtney asked in desperation. She just wanted to know what went wrong. She just wanted out.

“Fine,” A.J. sighed, “In the beginning, you were a means to an end. You were Sonny’s sister and you liked me. You were the only link that I had to Michael. So, I hatched a plan and I decided that if I proposed to you, than I could use you as leverage against Sonny. That night that I had proposed, I went to Sonny and I told him that I was going to marry you. I told him that I would break us off if he would give Michael back to me.”

“I guess he didn’t like that deal very much, did he?”

“He basically told me to go fuck myself. I couldn’t back out then. I had to go through with the marriage, but I fixed it. The island that we went too; the marriages there aren’t legal in the United States. I just had him go through all the fixings and trimmings to make you believe that we were married.”

“God, A.J. I never believed that you would be capable of hurting me like that,” Courtney said, her voice shaking as she processed the information that he had given her. “I thought you loved me, I thought we loved each other and were building a life together.”

“I DO love you,” A.J. told her, desperation ringing throughout every syllable.

“Don’t lie to me. You don’t love me, you never did.” Courtney screamed.

“I do love you, I fell in love with you after we got married. Yes, it’s true. I married you to get back Michael and I never expected to have feelings for you; but I do. I LOVE you, Courtney Matthew-Quartermaine. I love you.”

“It’s Courtney Matthews,” she said, her voice flat and emotionless. She had cried all her tears, she was done crying over him. He was scum.

A.J. stepped over to stand in front of Courtney. He had to make her believe him. He really did love her. “Courtney, I love you. I never thought that I would fall in love but I truly did. I’m done with my vendetta against Sonny. Yes, I want to be a father to Michael and I’ll never give up fighting for that right but I’m done with my need to get revenge on him. Now, I just want to concentrate on fixing the mistakes that I made with you.”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to fix those mistakes.” Courtney said.

“Look, you love me right?” A.J. paused as Courtney shook her head. “And I love you, if we have love we can fix anything.”

“No, it’s with trust that we can fix anything and I don’t trust you anymore. How am I supposed to believe the things that you tell me?”

“I don’t know, I guess we’ll have to work together so that you can learn to trust me again. But Courtney, the first thing I want to do is really get married to you. These past few months have been the best part of my life and you’re the reason. I really want to marry you. With all our family present and your dad walking you down the aisle. I see a lavish reception with orange blossoms and you looking gorgeous in a long white gown.” A.J.’s eyes began to gleam as he saw the weakening in Courtney’s face. He knew that he was winning her over; he just needed to push a little more.

“A.J., we can’t get married. At least not until I learn to trust you again.”

The rage in A.J. began to wash over him as he saw his grasp on her slowly begin to slip away. “Did Jason tell you all this stuff about me? Did he put these ideas into your head?” He yelled. “Look, Jason would do anything to hurt me, he’s scum. I mean he’s a HITMAN for God’s sake! He hates me and he would say anything if it would hurt me.”

Standing there in disbelief, Courtney stared at A.J. She couldn’t believe that he was trying to pin this all on Jason. “God, A.J. don’t you understand that this isn’t about Jason. It’s about you lying to me. We can’t, we can’t have a future together if you’re going to blame Jason for everything that you do. You need to get over this obsession that you have. Nothing in our marriage will ever be his fault. Until you understand that, we can’t be together.”

As Courtney said that, her hand rose up to her chest and felt the chain that fell between her breasts. Gasping slightly at the memories that just touching the chain arose, she flashed back to the nights previous events…

… Rubbing his lips over hers, he gently swirled his tongue over her lips, making them wet and pliable. Running his tongue over the seam of her lips, Courtney’s breath hitched and her mouth opened slightly, allowing him just enough room to access her mouth…

As Courtney’s eyes widened and glazed over, A.J. watched her as she seemed to go off into another time and place, her hand clutched over her chest.

… As she reached out towards him, her hands fisted themselves into Jason’s hair, pulling his head even more firmly against her. Tugging on the short, wet strands, Courtney moaned incoherently as his tongue planted itself even more firmly within her mouth. In and out, his mouth moved over hers, the long strokes of his tongue caressing the recesses of her mouth. He was kissing her like he was a man starving for his last breath…

Snapping back to the present, Courtney’s blue eyes stared in shock at A.J. She had thought that she and Jason were over. She knew that she would always have lingering feelings for the man that she had once vowed to spend the rest of her life with but she had thought that she had gotten over that. Obviously not, after their kiss, she had to talk to him. She had to see if he felt what she had felt. She couldn’t be with A.J. until then.

Courtney looked at A.J. and said, “I can’t deal with this anymore. I’m going to go and stay at Sonny and Carly’s for the night. I’ll contact you when I’m ready to deal with this.” Courtney walked past A.J., sidestepping him when he reached out to touch her. Moving like an old lady, Courtney walked into the bedroom and hurriedly packed an overnight bag. She knew where she was going and what she was doing but she didn’t want A.J. to worry and follow her, so she told him the partial truth. Grabbing her bag, she hurried to the front door, stopping only long enough to grab a dry jacket from the closet. “Take care of Rosie for me please. I’ll be back to get her in a couple of days.” With that said, Courtney walked out the door and into the night leaving A.J. to stare at the door. He knew that he might have lost her but he would not give her up without a fight. He would do anything and everything to get her back.

As the elevator approached the floor, Courtney checked her appearance in the elevator panel one last time. She looked like crap and she had forgotten to take her makeup case with her when she had left the apartment. It didn’t really matter, she knew that Jason wouldn’t care how she looked. He’d always claimed that her natural beauty surpassed any makeup that she would ever put on.

Ping, the doors opened to the floor of Jason’s penthouse and Courtney slowly stepped off. Her eyes darted around looking for the guards. Seeing none, she stealthily walked over to Jason’s door and slowly turned the knob. The knob turned gently in her small hand and Courtney realized that the door was unlocked, she wouldn’t have to pick the lock. Breathing a sigh of relief, she opened the door and slipped inside.

Walking inside, Courtney paused to look around, noticing the décor that Jason had chosen to decorate the penthouse with. Typical Jason, she thought. Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Courtney spun around thinking that Jason had heard her come in and was coming down to investigate. She was not prepared for what was about to greet her.

Courtney stared in gut-wrenching horror at the person that appeared on the stairs. Elizabeth stood there, dressed only in some see through provocative lingerie. A black lacy teddy hung loosely on her thin frame, the corseted brassiere was laced as tight as it could go but it still hung off of her shoulders. Seeing Courtney standing there, Elizabeth smirked at her and said, “What are you doing here?”

As the nausea rolled in her stomach, Courtney breathed deep. Giving one last look at the scary vision on the stairs, Courtney bolted out the door and into the hallway. Not looking where she was going, she veered towards the elevator and ran smack into a very masculine chest. Her vision clouded by tears, her composure shattered, Courtney looked up into the face of the man that she had once loved.

“You bastard, I can’t believe that you would screw me over too.”