Chapter IX – Only Hope

Entering her darkened apartment, Courtney flicked on the lights as her gaze came to rest upon A.J.  He was sitting there in the dark waiting for her return.

“Courtney, what are you doing back here?” A.J. asked.

“Shhh.  No questions.  I came back to answer your question though.  I’ve thought about and ---“ Courtney replied.

“What Courtney?” he asked eagerly.

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

As dawn broke over a new day, soft sunlight streamed through windows lighting darkened rooms and signifying that a new day has come.  The soft rays shifted and swayed as the curtains moved with the soft breeze of the morning fresh air.  The young woman who laid her bed, moaned as the shafts of sunlight became brighter, forcing her from a slumberous sleep. 

Rolling on her side, she turned her head deeper into her pillow; keeping her eyes tightly shut against the harsh morning light that threatened to intrude on her dream world.  Lethargically, the woman moved her arm into the void beside her, seeking the warmth of the man with who she shared her nights. 

Moving her hand, she came into contact with cold, cotton sheets.  Pulling her hand back into her warmth, the woman opened her eyes slowly and looked at the pillow lying next to hers.  Lying fluffy and soft, the pillow had not been used.  Pushing the soft tresses of hair out of her eyes, she rolled towards the pillow.  Moving her head slightly, she buried her nose into the soft, plush downy fabric and inhaled deeply.  Searching for the scent that she loved, the scent she craved, the scent that was truly his alone.  There was no scent.

Disoriented, the young woman sat up slowly in bed, confusion reigning across her features as she searched the room for him.  He was no where in sight.  Sighing heavily, the woman shook her head, sending her heavy blonde locks flying.

Her crystal blue eyes were still heavy lidded with sleep and her voice husky as she called out to him, “Jason?”

As his name graced her lips, the sound of singing from outside the room caught her attention.  [i]Jason doesn’t sing[/i], she thought.  [i]In fact, he wouldn’t be caught dead singing[/i].  As the voice outside got dramatically louder and nearer, the woman shook her head…hoping that she was just caught in some horrible dream.

Finally, the song faded away as the door to the bedroom came crashing open.  There, on the threshold stood a man, but not who she was expecting. 

“Good morning, honey.” A.J. crowed jovially as he walked into the bedroom with a tray of food. Courtney stared in shock.  She’d done it again.  It wasn’t the first time that she’d crossed the line between dreams and reality.  Many a morning, she had awoke expecting Jason to come through the doorway.  It had been their ritual.  Early morning breakfasts from the corner bakery, black coffee for him and a latte for her.  Sometimes, a muffin or a croissant would accompany the coffee.

He’d bring in the paper and they’d fight over the sections.  Or he’d gather her in his arms and read to her aloud from the travel section or the comics.  Their day had always seemed a little brighter, a little happier when they had spent the mornings together.

Courtney smiled in reminiscence as she remembered the breakfasts, he in his boxers and tank top; she in her pajamas or short nightgowns.  The soft smile faded slowly as she remembered how the quality time that they had shared diminished towards the end of their relationship.  The fog slowly lifted from her brain as she blinked rapidly and A.J. came back into focus.

A.J. sat beside Courtney on the bed, the tray of food forgotten in his hands.  He looked at her worriedly, he’d been sitting beside her chattering away and she had been off in her own dream world.  It didn’t look like she’d heard a word that he had said. Pushing the tray aside, A.J. shifted closer beside Courtney and brushed her hair away.

Courtney cringed as A.J. touched her but he didn’t noticed. Too focused he was, on the mesmerizing beauty of her face as he gazed softly into her eyes.  As Courtney looked at him, she noticed that he was beaming with pride.  He seemed to be bursting with excitement.

“A.J. what is it?  Why are you so happy?”  Courtney asked apprehensively.  She had learned not to trust him at face value.

A huge smile broke out across A.J.’s face as the happiness could no longer be contained.  “Why can’t I be happy?  Last night, a beautiful woman agreed to marry me.  What would make a man happier than that?”

Courtney smiled softly but the smile did not reach her eyes.  Already, she was regretting the rash decision that she had made last night but it was her only choice.  She had made her peace with that fact.  Her past was in her past and the future was now upon her.  “I guess nothing could make you happier than that.” Courtney said teasingly, her hand coming up to brush his away.

Eyes gleaming brightly, A.J. reached for Courtney’s hand, his thumb tracing her barren left ring finger. “I have good news,” A.J. exclaimed. Courtney stared at him, wondering what would have him so happy. 

“What’s the good news?” Courtney asked warily.

“We’re getting married tomorrow.  Everything’s booked.”  A.J. said.  Courtney’s jaw fell open in shock but she covered nicely.

“What do you mean that we’re getting married tomorrow?  We just got engaged last night.”  Courtney said.

“I know, I know.  But last night, I couldn’t sleep out there,” A.J. gestured with his finger flung out towards the direction of the living room.  “I was too excited about the prospect of truly becoming your husband so I made some phone calls.  The church is booked, the flowers are ordered, and invitations were sent by chauffeured limousine.  Everything is set; all we have to do is show up.”  A.J. preened with pride as he watched Courtney try to assimilate the information that she had received.

“But how, A.J.?  There’s no way that you could organize that all in just a few short hours,” Courtney said on a note of disbelief.

“It pays to have money, sweetie.  The Quartermaine name will get you anything in this town.” Courtney drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, as she tried to quell the panic that threatened to take her over.  It couldn’t be happening this fast, she needed more time.

“A.J., I…I don’t think that we should be …” Courtney was cut off in mid-sentence as A.J. put two fingers over her mouth to stifle her protest.

“Don’t worry, Court.  Nothing will go wrong.  I promise.  It’s going to be a perfect day.”  A.J. shifted closer, his brown eyes closing in anticipation as he lowered his head to meet hers.  At the last moment, Courtney turned her head and slid out from underneath the arms that seemed to be imprisoning her.  Pushing the sheets back, her feet hit the floor with a solid thud and she moved quickly to the closet on the opposite side of the room.

Flopping back on the bed, A.J. stared frustrated at the ceiling as Courtney rummaged through the closet looking for clothes.  Aching with need, he couldn’t believe that she continued to deny him.  It had been too long since he had had her and he wanted her.  But, she didn’t seem to want him.  A.J. closed his eyes briefly as Courtney came back to stand beside him.

Opening his eyes, A.J. stared at the vision in front of him.  Standing there with a bunch of clothes fisted in her hands, Courtney looked down at him.  “I have to get ready, I have to go out.”

“Where?”  A.J. said forcefully, snapping up out of his sprawl on the bed. 

“I have to go talk to Sonny and Carly.  I need to tell them myself that we are getting married.” Courtney said softly, averting her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see the anger that built in his.

A.J. eyes hardened.  “Who cares what Sonny and Carly think?  They aren’t going to be happy for us.  They never are.”

“They will deal with it A.J.  I’ll make sure of it,” Courtney stated emphatically.  Giving him one last glance, Courtney made her way out of the room.  Shutting the door, she sagged against it as she fought to get her breath.  It was too much, too soon.  Her hand rising to her neck, Courtney searched for her necklace.  Then she remembered…it was gone.  Gathering the strength that lived deep inside her soul, Courtney inhaled deeply and went off to shower. The day was just beginning…she had a lot to get through.

Too much, too soon.

“Ms. Matthews is here to see you.” Max stated to Sonny and Carly as he pushed the door open and ushered Courtney inside the penthouse.  The door closed silently and Max returned to his hallway duties.  Nervously walking farther in the penthouse, Courtney looked at Sonny and Carly who were sitting on the couch.

“Hi, Courtney!!” Carly exclaimed as she watched the younger woman standing just inside the door.  Courtney looked extremely nervous and she wondered what was wrong. 

“Hey,” Courtney said softly, wondering how she was going to tell them.  All the way over to the penthouse, she had tried to play the scene out in her mind.  Each time, it had ended worse than the previous time that she had played it out.

She knew that they were not going to be happy for her and she doubted that they would even try to cover. She hoped that they would at least be accepting of her decisions but she didn’t know.

Carly watched Courtney…she saw the play of emotions cross her face and knew that something was worrying her.  Was it about A.J.?  Or Mike?  Or maybe….maybe it was about Jason.  Carly smiled slightly at that thought...there was something between them, she just didn’t know the background and how deep the scars ran.

Courtney shrugged out of her short black leather jacket and dropped it over the back of the chair. Sitting down gingerly on the edge of arm, she looked at the couple who lounged so gracefully on the sofa.  Carly was curled up in the corner, her legs pulled up into her chest.  Her arms were looped over her knees as she smiled benevolently up at Courtney. 

Sonny on the other hand, was dressed in one of his slick suits.  He sat on the opposite end of the couch, knees pressed tightly together.  His hand seemed to continually caress his eyebrow or jaw as he watched Courtney struggle to compose her thoughts.

As Courtney’s panic grew, her fingers twisted themselves rapidly over the long sleeves of her shirt.  Over and over her fingers moved.  Lacing and unlacing her fingers. Courtney picked at the hem of the fine cotton of her shirt.  Finally, Carly couldn’t take it anymore.  Rising from her position on the couch, Carly walked over to Courtney and sat on the chair.

Taking Courtney’s hand in her own, Carly was astonished at how cold it was.  Rubbing it slightly, she looked at Court.  “It’s okay, sweetie.  You can tell us anything?  Is it A.J., did he hurt you?”

Courtney laughed slightly.  “No Carly. He didn’t hurt me.  But, I have to tell you and Sonny something.  I doubt that you are going to like it.  And I’m afraid.  I don’t want to disappoint you guys more than I already have.”

“Aww, honey.  You won’t disappoint us, we love you.  You’re our family and no matter what decisions you choose in life, or what happens…we’ll always be here for you.”  Carly glanced briefly at Sonny, she met the worry in his eyes and then her gaze went back to Courtney.  “We love you.”

Shifting on the edge of the chair, Courtney gripped Carly’s hand tighter.  Taking a deep breath, Courtney glanced briefly at Carly and then focused her gaze on Sonny.  She knew that he would be upset with her decision and probably blow up at her.  But, she had made her decision and she was sticking by it.

“Well, since I found out that A.J. and I were not married.  I have been re-evaluating my life and what I’m doing it with it.”  Looking down at brown carpet, Courtney took a moment to compose herself.  “After Jason told me about A.J.’s deception, I went back and confronted him.  He tried to deny it but it was useless.  He finally confessed and told me that yes; he had married me to get back Michael.”

Sonny shifted on the couch and closed his eyes.  His hands clenched into fists as he listened to what Courtney had to say. 

“A.J. tried to convince me that he loved me, that he had fallen in love with me as time wore on.  And I believe him.  Even, if he didn’t start out with the greatest of intentions, he really did fall in love me.  And…and I love him too.”  Courtney’s voice broke as she hesitated over the last line but she persevered.  She couldn’t bear to look at the disappointment that she knew would be evident on her brother’s face so she kept her gaze down towards the floor.  “So, so he asked me to take him back.  He said he really did fall in love with me and he wants to really marry me.”

Carly gasped in horror as Courtney finished her statement.  Turning to look at Courtney she stared at her in shock.  “Courtney.  Surely, you aren’t thinking of marrying that little twerp again.” 

Lifting her eyes from the floor, Courtney looked at Carly.  “Yes, he asked me to marry him and I agreed.  I love him Carly,” Courtney stated cutting Carly off as she opened her mouth to interject.  “He’s truly sorry that he deceived me and I feel that I have to give him a second chance.”

“A second chance,” Sonny scoffed, finally emerging from the red haze of anger that had clouded his mind.  “Why in the world would you want to give that little prick a second chance? He’s done nothing to this family except hurt people.”

“Sonny,” Courtney said.  “This isn’t about your family or even about A.J.  It’s about me and what I need.  A.J. is what I need; he’s who I want…” As Courtney said this, her heart betrayed her and the pain from it became almost unbearable.  She was lying to the people who mattered most in the world, but she couldn’t stop herself.  She loved A.J., he had given her some great memories that she would carry with her forever but…she wasn’t in love with him.  She was in love with…Courtney stopped, her mind carrying her back to that night…

Tilting her head even farther back, Jason brought his other arm up and wrapped it around Courtney, leaving his hand to rest in the small of her back.  Pushing her towards him, Jason used his lips to seduce her. Rubbing his lips over hers, he gently swirled his tongue over her lips, making them wet and pliable.  Running his tongue over the seam of her lips, Courtney’s breath hitched and her mouth opened slightly, allowing him just enough room to access her mouth.

But then, she brought herself back into the present, her unfocused gaze sweeping around the penthouse as her mind took her to another night, a night that would be undeniably burned into her mind forever.

Courtney stared in gut-wrenching horror at the person that appeared on the stairs.  Elizabeth stood there, dressed only in some see through provocative lingerie.  A black lacy teddy hung loosely on her thin frame, the corseted brassiere was laced as tight as it could go but it still hung off of her shoulders.  Seeing Courtney standing there, Elizabeth smirked at her and said, “What are you doing here?”

As the nausea rolled in her stomach, Courtney breathed deep.  Giving one last look at the scary vision on the stairs, Courtney bolted out the door and into the hallway.  Not looking where she was going, she veered towards the elevator and ran smack into a very masculine chest.  Her vision clouded by tears, her composure shattered, Courtney looked up into the face of the man that she had once loved.

“You bastard, I can’t believe that you would screw me over too.”

But the man she loved, the man she wanted was unavailable and he always would be.  She had to let go and move on before the pain in her heart killed her.  Before the pain in her soul enveloped her and slowly suffocated her until she could no longer take a breath without feeling the stab of pain that accompanied her wherever she went.

“Courtney!”  Sonny snapped, bringing Courtney back from to the harsh reality that she had momentarily escaped.  “I forbid this union with A.J.  I won’t have it.  I let you make this mistake once; I’m not going to let you do this again.”

“Sonny, this isn’t your choice.” Courtney said quietly.  “I love A.J. and I’m going to marry him – with or without your blessing.  I want you to be there, I want you to watch me give myself to the man I love, I want …” Courtney pleaded but broke off as she saw the uncompromising look on Sonny’s face.  She knew that she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him.

Turning to look at Carly, Courtney searched for understanding from her best friend, her sister-in-law.  Carly squeezed Courtney’s hand in reassurance but she wondered what was wrong.  Something was truly wrong.  What had happened the previous evening?  What had happened with Jason and Courtney?  She knew that there was something between them, she wasn’t blind. 

There was more than just friendship, more than just two people who met and liked each other.  She had seen the way they looked at each other during that dinner; she had seen the way they reacted at certain moments.  Had they been together before?  Was there a mutual attraction that they couldn’t act upon because they were both in other relationships?  Carly had a feeling that it was the former but she couldn’t quite be sure and Courtney had made it clear that she was in love with A.J.  How did she ask her if she was in love with A.J. but in lust with Jason?  God knows, that it wouldn’t be the first time that a woman had gone after both “brothers” but it wasn’t the preferred method.

Carly knew that she had to support Courtney, even if she was in the wrong. Looking at her husband, Carly stared at the angry man who was drinking shots at ten o’clock in the morning.  Ranting and raving about the prick that A.J. was as he poured himself shot after shot.  “Sonny!”  Carly yelled, getting up from the chair and walking over to him.  Grabbing the drink out of his hand, she slammed it down and grabbed his hand.  Pulling him over to the couch, she sat him down across from Courtney and joined their hands together.

“Sonny,” Carly began softly.  “Courtney is our family; she’s your only sister and my best friend.  We may not agree with what she decides to do with her life but we have to support her.”  Carly looked back and forth between the brother and sister.  Courtney’s eyes were filled with unshed tears.  She hadn’t wanted to disappoint Sonny but she had made her choices.  This was the best thing for her life…it was want she needed.

“Sonny,” Courtney pleaded.  “I need you to accept this.  Even if you don’t, I’m still going to marry A.J. but I love you and you’re blessing means the world to me.”

Sonny gazed at his little sister.  He had just found her, he couldn’t lose her again.  Caving against his reluctance, Sonny smiled slightly. “Okay, little sister.  I love you and I only want for you to be happy.  If A.J. is who you truly want and who you truly love than I’m happy for you. I give you my blessing.”

Courtney’s eyes widened in shock and Carly smiled as she watched the joy spread across her face.  Courtney launched herself at Sonny, grabbing him in an embrace.  “Thank you, Sonny.  I love you.”

Sonny hugged Courtney back and they stayed like that for a moment.  They were a family and they stood by each other through thick and thin.  Pulling back, Courtney wiped her wet cheeks and smiled brightly at Carly.  “Carly, I was wondering…would you…would you be my matron of honour?”

“Yes!  Yes, I’d love to Courtney,” exclaimed Carly. Carly grabbed Courtney and they hugged. 

Turning to Sonny, Courtney asked him her next question, “Sonny, will you walk me down the aisle?”  Sonny hesitated at the request and then smiled.  Anything for his sister. 

“Yes, I’d love to walk you down the aisle.”

“Great,” Courtney exclaimed.  “The wedding is all set for tomorrow, all you have to do is show up.  I’ll call you later in the day; I’m not sure what all the details are yet.”  Courtney grabbed her jacket from the chair and slipped it on.  Walking swiftly towards the door, she knew she had to get out before the pain threatened to overwhelm her.  She’d been covering well, her fake happiness seeming real.  She had to get out.

Giving Carly a quick hug and a kiss, she turned towards Sonny and whispered thanks in his ear.  Telling them goodbye, she rushed out the door and into the morning sun, her body shuddering in pain.

As the day wore on, Courtney was busy with the plans that A.J. had made.  Wedding dress fittings, personal invitations and booking time off of work were her number one priorities.  Through it all, she couldn’t help but think about the man with piercing blue eyes that she couldn’t forget.

Sonny and Carly were sitting on the couch, quietly discussing wedding plans when Jason came through the door.  Rough and ragged, he looked like he hadn’t slept the night before.  And he hadn’t.  Every time he’d close his eyes, he had pictured her standing there.  Her blonde hair in tangles, anger and hurt in her eyes.  He’d put the pain in her eyes and he would do anything to take it back.  But it was too late.  She wouldn’t let him.  There was no hope for them anymore.

Carly shot up from the couch and rushed to meet him.  “Jason, you look like you haven’t slept in days.  What’s wrong?  Is it business?” 

Jason laughed shortly.  “Carly, even if it was about business, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.”

“Well then, what is it?  Why do you look so distraught?” 

Jason laughed at Carly’s choice of words as Sonny interrupted, “Maybe it’s personal Carly.  Maybe Jason doesn’t want to tell us.”  Sonny laughed at Carly’s look of outrage.

Making a snorting sound, Carly smiled at Jason.  “We have some exciting news, Jase.”

“What’s that?” said Jason, looking preoccupied with his thoughts.

Carly smiled slightly and took his hands in hers.  “Courtney came by this morning,” Jason’s eyes brightened perceptively as Carly said Courtney’s name.  “She and A.J. are getting married again.  Tomorrow afternoon, in fact.”

Jason dropped Carly’s hands and recoiled in shock.  “Courtney and A.J. are getting married, again??” Jason said, his voice rising in anger.  “Why the hell would she want to marry him again?”

Sonny and Carly looked at Jason in surprise.  He rarely raised his voice but now…now he seemed upset. “Why would she do this?  What would possess her to accept that rat’s invitation again?  He’s scum.”  Jason’s voice had lowered to his normal pitch but he was clearly agitated.  He shoved his fingers through his hair as he paced around the penthouse. 

It was his entire fault.  He knew that Courtney was doing this because of what had transpired the night before.  He had to talk to her; he had to set the truth straight.

Looking at Sonny and Carly, he knew that he had to find her.  Rubbing his eyes, he told them, “I have to go; I just came to tell you that I finished the business in the warehouse and we’re all set for the next shipment.  I’ve got to go.”  With that abruptly said, Jason blindly rushed out of the penthouse and into the elevator leaving the couple staring after him. 

Bemusedly, yet a little worried…Carly watched his retreating back wondering if the shit was going to hit the fan.  Sonny stood there wondering what the hell had gotten into his right hand man.

Standing in the brisk fall wind, Courtney rubbed her hands together.  The brick wall of Jake’s was to her back but it wasn’t buffeting the wind.  Why was she here?  Why did she persist on torturing herself with the only thing in the world that she couldn’t have but that she truly wanted?

Rounding the corner, Jason stopped and watched the blonde beauty.  Resting against the brick wall, her hands stuffed in her pockets, she looked the picture of a serene and calm woman.  Yet, she wasn’t.  The ravages from the night before had not faded.  Tear tracks and swollen eyes that had been so carefully concealed with makeup were now visible under the fading light of the day.

Approaching her slowly, Jason stopped in beside her.  Slowly, he took a deep breath and let it out.  “Why didn’t you tell me about the wedding?”

“I didn’t think that it was any of your business.  Why would I tell you anything?”  Courtney looked up and met Jason’s eyes.  Dark blue, harsh cold eyes met his warm ones.  “We are nothing to each other Jason,” Courtney spat, her anger rising. It was the only way she could get through this.  Get angry, stay angry.

Jason put up his hands, reaching for her.  “Look, about last night.  What you saw with Elizabeth, it’s not what you think.”  Courtney laughed harshly and jerked away as he tried to touch her. 

“Really, Jason.  That’s the oldest line in the book…’It’s not what you think’.  I would have expected better material from you.”

“Court- “Jason began.

“No!  Stop it, Jason!  I don’t want to hear how it wasn’t what I thought. I don’t want to hear how she let herself into your penthouse to wait for you to come home and have a romantic interlude.  I don’t want to hear any of it.  I just want to forget.”  Courtney’s voice dropped as she began to shake. “I just want to forget that we were ever together.  We are through.” 

The pain in Courtney’s voice didn’t register with Jason.  He was feeling his own pain.  Through the red misty haze, he heard her voice from afar.

“I love A.J.  I just want to have a peaceful and happy life.  I’m trying to start over from all the pain.  Please I just need you to stay away from me.  For good.  I can’t see you anymore…I can’t be near you.” Courtney looked at him and saw a defeated man. 

“If you’re sure…” Jason said softly, his voice hoarse with the tears and the longing that he could not hide.

“I’m sure…goodbye.”   Courtney said softly.  As tears filled her eyes, she watched as the man she loved walked away.  Not on his own this time but because she had sent him away.  The farther he walked, the less she could see until at last she could see no more.  Slowly, the tears that clung to her lashes fell and a lone tear dripped down her soft cheek. Wiping it away, Courtney gathered the last of her resolve and headed off to find her fiancé.

As darkness fell, Jason walked aimlessly.  No direction, no path to be taken.  He found himself on the docks, staring out into the ever approaching murky blackness.  Memories of happier times seemed to roll out of the fog towards him, tormenting him with the visions that could never be recaptured.

He stood there on the edge of the docks, his hands in his pockets…his heart breaking for what was lost.  He’d had the chance to make things right and he’d blew it. 

Sighing, he turned to walk away but the rising moonlight caught his attention.  There, gleaming on the battered and wooden planks, a chain of silver laid.  Kneeling down, Jason reached for it.  Closing his fingers around the silver chain, he pulled it up.

Looking at it, he noticed that the chain was attached to a ring.  Standing up, he moved over into the streetlight to better see what the ring looked like.  On a harsh intake of breath, Jason recognized the ring.  He had given it to Courtney, years before and…and she had kept it.

All these years.  She had kept it…always with her, close to her heart. 

At that moment, Jason knew.  She loved him…there was still hope.

Clutching the ring tightly, Jason walked off into the night air.  He had some planning to do.

Chapter X – A Day of Preparations

Sighing, he turned to walk away but the rising moonlight caught his attention.  There, gleaming on the battered and wooden planks, a chain of silver laid.  Kneeling down, Jason reached for it.  Closing his fingers around the silver chain, he pulled it up.

Looking at it, he noticed that the chain was attached to a ring.  Standing up, he moved over into the streetlight to better see what the ring looked like.  On a harsh intake of breath, Jason recognized the ring.  He had given it to Courtney, years before and…and she had kept it.

All these years.  She had kept it…always with her, close to her heart. 

At that moment, Jason knew.  She loved him…there was still hope.

Clutching the ring tightly, Jason walked off into the night air.  He had some planning to do.

************

Sunlight streamed through the tall windows in the bride’s vestibule as the morning ticked on.  It seemed that time was moving at a standstill for the young woman who sat at the dressing table.  The wedding was supposed to take place in the early afternoon, she was supposed to be ready but here it was…almost eleven in the morning and she had yet to even attempt to take her gown out of protective bag.

Courtney shook her head in disbelief at how fast A.J. had gotten everything in order.  She guessed that his last name and money had greased a lot of palms.  Raising her head from the contemplation of the intricate pattern of embroidery in her silk chemise, Courtney looked at herself flush in the mirror.  Her face showed the ravages of another restless night, filled with dreams of two different men.

Each man calling out to her; whispering that she should come with them.   Whispering, pleading, begging, crying and finally ordering…they each had their own appeal.  But only one…only one held her interest.  Yet, every time she chose him…he wouldn’t be there.  Fading away into the fog as she reached for him.  Drifting off into the clouds as she ran to him.  He would always be gone and she’d be left bereft, only to turn around and find that the other man was waiting for her.  He was always second best and although she had feelings for him, he wasn’t the man she wanted.

Unable to look at her knowing and grief-stricken eyes, Courtney rose unsteadily from the small, delicate chair and slowly walked over to the dressing closet.  There, her wedding dress hung.  Protected from the small particle of dust or lint, Courtney was hesitant to even open the bag.  If she saw the dress, her wedding would be real.  It would no longer be a figment of her imagination.  No longer would she be able to say it was all a bad dream that she had thought up.  No, it was real.

Courtney slowly reached up and grasped the copper zipper tab.  Grasping it tightly, she slowly pulled the zipper down, the cotton-canvas fabric gapping slightly as the zipper made its trek downwards.  Parting the fabric’s edges, Courtney revealed her wedding dress.

Moaning in despair, Courtney looked at the dress.  A.J. in all his helpfulness had chosen the dress.  It wasn’t what she would have picked.  The dress was a fantasy of tulle, crinoline and white silk.  Strapless, the bodice was a corseted affair with hooks and eyes covered with pearl buttons.  Hugging her generous curves, the bodice was snug and hand-embroidered with tiny stitches, seed pearls and ivory sequins.  The corseted bodice, also laced at the back but the ties were hidden. 

The wedding skirt was a magical, mythical creation of white tulle, crinoline and silk.  Layers upon layers of crinoline intermeshed with the tulle created a layered skirt that billowed out in all directions.  The layers of crinoline were covered in expensive white silk.

The dress was pairing with white silk stockings and high heels.  The veil was a princess-like tiara that cut into Courtney’s skull and provided her no enjoyment.  Attached to the veil, two layers of long white tulle and lace formed the train. 

Fingering the dress in resignation, Courtney pulled it out of the bag and slowly began to prepare herself to put it on.  She couldn’t help but reminiscence about her dream wedding dress.  Her dream dress was simple in nature, just like herself.  The princess cut gown was white royal satin with narrow straps.  Along the top of the bodice and up one strap, heavy crystal beading enhanced the tank neckline.  A chapel train and asymmetrical wrap gathered at the back to complete the look.

Smiling slightly, Courtney remembered the time when she had planned her wedding.  Down to the very last detail…she’d waited for that day with anticipation but it had never come.  Instead, here she was.  In the vestibule of a chapel. Marrying one because she couldn’t have the other.  Unzipping the dress, she started to slowly step into it when the door creaked open and Carly popped her head inside.

“Looks like you need a little help,” Carly said teasingly as she eyed the younger woman.  Courtney was contemplating her wedding dress, one foot in, one foot out.  To Carly’s practiced eye, it looked like Courtney was sitting on the fence, making a decision.  Should she or shouldn’t she?

Carly rushed into the room, her face wreathed with fake happiness.  Bending down, she helped Courtney steady herself and then pulled the dress up slowly.  Straightening, Carly watched with speculative eyes as Courtney tried to reach behind her and do up the small hook and eyes that ran along the back of the bodice.

Struggling, Courtney gave an exasperated cry of anger and spun around, presenting her back to Carly. “Please do these up,” Courtney requested through gritted teeth.

Carly stifled a smile, “Of course, all you had to do was ask.”  Quickly the hook and eyes were completed and Carly rested her hands on Courtney’s stiff shoulders.   Feeling the muscles tighten even more, Carly started to rub the tension away.

“Nervous?”  Carly asked.

“No, I’m not nervous Carly.” Courtney replied softly, her eyes clouding over as her emotions rose in the depths of her crystal blue eyes.  “Scared…I’m scared.  I don’t want to make another mistake.”

Carly sighed, wondering how she was going to reassure her best friend.  “Court, people make mistakes.  Its part of growing up and learning to live as you were meant to live.  No one can tell you what is right and what is wrong…you have to discover that for yourself.  All we can do is try to give you advice and steer you on what we perceive to be the best path for you.  But, we don’t live your life and we don’t walk in your shoes.”

Courtney’s eyes clouded over as she listened to Carly.

“At the end of the day, only you know what it’s like to be yourself.  Only you can judge if the choices you’ve made are the right ones for you.  And if they’re not, than you’ve learned a valuable lesson which should be treasured and built upon.”  Carly’s hand stopped her kneading of Courtney’s shoulders and slowly turned the young woman around.  Maintaining eye to eye contact, Carly continued, “Marrying A.J. is your choice. Not your father’s. Not A.J.’s. Not Sonny’s. Not even mine. It’s YOURS. If you believe that marrying A.J. is the right thing for you than marry him.  If you have even the slightest hesitations than maybe you should rethink your position before the music plays and you walk down the aisle towards him.

With tears floating in both of the women’s eyes, Courtney smiled at Carly.  “Thank you for that.  I needed to hear another opinion.”  Courtney reached forward and pulled Carly into a hug but Courtney’s eyes were troubled.  Carly had opened the floodgate of emotions and Courtney had to close the damper on them before they overrode her head.

*************

As the morning drew to an end, a man stood out overlooking the cliffs.  He hadn’t slept all night, contemplating what could be done and what couldn’t be done.  Did he want to ruin her only chance at happiness?  Did he want to risk the chance that he would never be happy and live to regret his choices if he didn’t go after her?

Clenching his fist tightly, the man winced as the metal dug into the soft flesh of his palm.  Opening his fingers, he let the chain slip through them and watched as the ring dangled in the blinding sunlight.  No, he needed her, she needed him.  He knew that there was still hope.

Gathering the chain up, the man ran his hand slowly along the inscription.  I love you…always no matter what.  That phrase had never rung truer than at this moment.  Bending his head, he slipped the chain on and gently rested the ring next to his heart.  They were always together…no matter what.

************

Making her way through the church corridor to the sanctuary, Carly met up with Sonny.  The immaculate mob man was dressed in a crisp black tuxedo.  The traditional black bowtie was impeccably straight, his cufflinks gleamed dully in the dim light and his shoes were so shiny that she could see her reflection in them. 

Sweeping her gaze around the room, Carly stopped in shock.  Stifling a laugh, she saw the groom.  Unkempt and unshaven, A.J. sat on a pew staring at his hands.  His hair was tousled and wet, the growth of a night’s beard on his face.  He wore scuffed white running shoes and white jogging socks with his tuxedo.  The ruffled baby blue shirt was unbuttoned, leaving pale skin visible.  The silver cufflinks were scattered over the carpet in front of A.J.’s feet, the sleeves of his shirt flapping in the breeze as his hands moved through his hair.  The black tuxedo jacket lay haphazardly across the adjoining pew, looking slightly worse for the wear.

Carly shook her head at the sight and groaned.  Turning towards Sonny she asked, “Why does A.J. look like he just got off of a three-day binge?”

Sonny’s eyes swept over the dishevelled figure slumped on the wooden pew and grinned devilishly.  “A.J’s a little nervous by the looks of it.  He’s been babbling all morning about being afraid that something was going to happen today.  He’s stone cold sober but he hasn’t been making much sense.”

“Sonny, the wedding’s in less than three hours.  He needs to get ready…guests will be arriving soon.” Carly sighed and grabbed Sonny’s arm.  “You have to help him get ready, he’s mess.”

“Whoa, no way.  I’m not touching him.”  Sonny held up his hands in protest. “He can put on his own clothes.”

“Obviously not, Sonny.  Look at him; he looks like a wino that you’d find passed out in the middle of a gutter.”  Carly tugged on Sonny’s arm and started off in the direction of A.J.’s slumped figure.  Coming up short, she yanked on the arm until he followed her.  Dodging flower arrangements and crepe paper, Carly and Sonny made their way to A.J.  “Look at him,” Carly said exasperated.  “He needs some serious help and for once, I don’t mean mentally.  He looks like a street bum.”

Sonny stared down at A.J. “Well, what am I supposed to do about it?”

“Well, help him.” Carly said, gesturing wildly with her hands, put him in the shower, give him a shave…you know manly stuff.”

“No way am I shaving him!!” Sonny exclaimed.

“He’d probably slit my throat,” came the hoarse, muffled voice of A.J.  A.J. looked up blearily at the Corinthos’, his eyes bloodshot and puffy.

Glancing at her watch, Carly shrieked as she noticed the time.  Turning back to look at Sonny, she gave him the LOOK, “Sonny, I expect you to get A.J. ready.  I have to go make sure things are running smoothly elsewhere.”

“Awww, honey…”  Sonny plaintively pleaded.  “I don’t –“

“Stuff it, Corinthos.  This is your sister’s wedding day and you will do everything in your power to make it spectacular for her.”  With that said, Carly flounced out of the sanctuary to go check on the caterer.  She was afraid of what Aimee might do next…the woman had a mind of her own when it came to velvet chocolate wedding cakes.

**************

Back in the anteroom, Courtney sat at the dressing table.  Her eyes were unfocused as she took in the sight of the objects that lay before her.  Carly had dropped them off before she’d been whisked away to go deal with the temperamental chef, Aimee.

Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.

A handkerchief, a dress, a bracelet and a pair of earrings.  Looking down, Courtney brushed her fingers over the stiff beaded bodice and sighed as the tightness around her heart and lungs seemed to grow.  Fingering the bracelet that lay draped over her wrist, Courtney smiled.  Sonny had given the bracelet to Carly and she never took it off.  Until now…she’d given it to Courtney as something borrowed.  The two tiered gold and silver bracelet was one of Carly’s most prized possessions.

Court, for something borrowed…I want you to wear my bracelet that Sonny gave me.  It will look so beautiful with your dress.  Perfect!

Courtney smiled in reminiscence as she remembered Carly emphatically insisting that she wear the bracelet.  Tearing her gaze from the bracelet, Courtney looked at herself in the mirror.  Sapphire teardrop earrings dripped from her ears.  The earrings were from Carly too, along with Sonny.

And this is for you from Sonny and I.  Carly popped the top on the small jeweller’s box as Courtney gasped.  Sapphire earrings twinkled against the background maroon velvet. 

“Carly,” Courtney began.

“Shush, these are for you.  It’s the something blue part of the wedding traditions.  We got them because they match your beautiful eyes.”  Holding the earrings up, Carly handed them to Courtney.  Courtney slipped them on and Carly surveyed her.  “Perfect!”

The earrings swung gently beside her ears as Courtney tilted her head to see if they matched her eyes.  They didn’t match her eyes…they matched Jason’s.  The dark, almost midnight blue reminded her of how Jason’s eyes looked when he was in throes of passion or anger.  They would go from their state of natural blue and darken as his emotions ran high.

Sighing, Courtney shook her head and focused on the last item.  Lying on the table before her, an antique handkerchief lay.  Carly had brought it to her from Lila.  It was her something old.  Soft cotton was trimmed in ivory lace and the scripted monogrammed letters CM stood out in all their finery against the ivory background.

Lila asked me to give this to you because she couldn’t be here to see you and A.J. get married today.  See these initials?  They stand for Constance Morgan…she was Lila’s grandmother and A.J.’s great-grandmother; she wanted you to have it.

“It’s beautiful,” Courtney whispered softly.  Running her fingers over the stiff fabric, a thought hit her.  “Morgan—that’s Jason’s last name.  Is that why his name is Morgan, now?”

Carly smiled and replied, “Jason was born, Jason Morgan Quartermaine.  The Morgan was after Lila.  When he had the accident and he couldn’t remember the Quartermaines, he dropped the Quartermaine and became Jason Morgan.”]

Snapping back to the present, Courtney was surprised to find the handkerchief crushed in her hand and slightly wrinkled.  Shaking it out, she hastily folded it pausing to trace the letters with the soft pad of her fingertip.  

CM…Constance Morgan…Courtney Morgan.  Those would have been her initials if she had married Jason.  Courtney’s vision clouded over and a tear slipped down her cheek. 

Suddenly, a knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and the anteroom door was pushed open.  Without waiting for a response, Monica walked in as if she owned the place.  Sweeping her gaze over Courtney, she frowned as if finding something distasteful with Courtney’s appearance.

Courtney sighed as she took in Monica.  They didn’t get along, they never had.  Monica took her to be a money-grubbing, backstabbing bitch who only wanted A.J. for his inheritance.  Courtney had tried to correct her on numerous occasions but nothing had seemed to work.

“So, you’re finally getting what you want…” Monica said snidely.  “The Quartermaine money.”  Courtney shook her head and tried to speak but Monica interrupted her, “I won’t let you ruin my son; he’s a good man no matter what his faults are.  He doesn’t deserve to be jerked around like a bitch like you. I will be watching you to make sure that you stay on the straight and narrow.”

“Monica,” Courtney said tiredly.  “This is the last time that I’m going to say this.  I’m not with A.J. for his money.  I’m with A.J. because I love him.” 

Monica snorted and looked at Courtney.  “Well, I guess we’ll see where the chips fall won’t we?”  Monica gave Courtney one last look and flounced away, her black crepe dress jiggling and sliding as she walked.

Standing as Monica left, Courtney continued to hold the handkerchief…Courtney Morgan…almost…she had almost been that woman…

The woman sitting on her king-sized bed was just finishing painting her nails a soft coral pink when the phone rang.  Blowing fiercely on the still-wet polish, she hit the speaker phone button. 

“Hello?” Courtney asked.

“Hey, it’s me.” Courtney smiled as Jason’s voice resonated throughout the room.

“What are you doing?  You never call me in the middle of the morning.”  Courtney asked, a little unsure of her self.  They lived in a dangerous world…you never knew what might happen.

Jason chuckled softly, “What?  You mean, I can’t call the woman I love just to say ‘hello’?” 

“Well…you can… but this is the first time since we’ve been together.  So, logical conclusion would be that something is up.”  Courtney replied.

“I’ll just have to remedy that fact now won’t I?  Actually, I did have a reason.”  Courtney’s exclamation of ‘aha’ was cut off as Jason proceeded to carry on.  “I have a surprise for you…get dressed, grab your things…I’ll meet you outside in 20 minutes.  Wear something pretty, please!”

Courtney stared in shock at the phone, the dial tone ringing throughout the room.  Jason, a thoughtful and loving man was not prone to spontaneous actions.  She wondered what he was going to do.  She got up swiftly and ran around the bedroom, grabbing clothes from the closet as she went.  Pretty…must be pretty.

With two minutes to spare, Courtney glossed her lips in coral pink, straightened the straps of her baby pink sundress and slipped into short, pink heels.  Grabbing her purse, Courtney ran outside and met the man of her dreams.  Sitting astride the idling motorcycle, Jason was dressed all in black. 

Taking the helmet that he offered, Courtney slipped on the bike behind him.  Her arms tightened around his waist as Jason steadied the bike and drove off. Destination-unknown.

*****

Courtney stared at the magical place that Jason had brought her too.  They’d driven for what seemed like hours, but probably had only been about thirty minutes.  The strong wind had picked up in its intensity the farther they had drove along and the sun had streamed down on them.

The soft sand squished between her bare toes as Courtney walked along the secluded beach.  A small cove provided shade and an intimate shelter for lovers to relax.  The cerulean blue waters looked peaceful, the waves lapping gently against the sand.  Turning around, Courtney walked back to where Jason was setting up their lunch – a picnic.

“Come eat,” Jason commanded, pulling Courtney down on the blanket beside him.  Courtney surveyed the feast that Jason had prepared. Strawberries and whipped cream with melted chocolate.  Her favourite. 

“Not much on variety, are you?” Courtney teased.  Her fingers rose involuntarily and brushed them over his jaw.

“There’s more over in the basket but I wanted to enjoy these with you first.” Jason said, picking up a strawberry.  Jason dipped the berry in the melted dark chocolate.  Letting the chocolate drip off, he brought the berry to her lips.  Courtney smiled and took a bite, savouring the berry. 

Jason smiled at the remains of the chocolate that lingered on her lips.  Leaning forward he kissed her softly, his tongue snaking out to lick the chocolate off.  Jason pulled back, his eyes glittering in the bright sunlight.  “Hmmm…that was good.”

Courtney smiled at him and reached down for a strawberry.  Grasping the berry, she swirled it in the whipped cream.  Placing it on Jason’s mouth, she dragged the berry back and forth, letting the cream leave a trail.  Jason took a bite of the berry and Courtney leaned forward.  Slowly, she licked off the cream and placed her mouth on Jason’s.

They kissed softly.  Teeth met teeth and their tongues tangled together as their mouths moved together.  The sweet song that they created sang throughout the soft air.  Courtney’s hands reached up to tangle in the soft hair at the back of Jason’s nape.  Pushing him closer to her, the kiss grew hotter.  Courtney laid back on the blanket and pulled Jason towards her, but he stopped her.

“Court…wait a minute. I have something that I want to give to you.”  Jason sat up and pulled her with him.  Grasping her left hand, he ran his hand along her ring finger.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a while now but it never seemed like the right time.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box…a jeweller’s box. Courtney gasped. She had never thought that they would ever reach this point.

Looking deeply into Courtney’s eyes he started, “Courtney. I love you.  You are my breath, my oxygen, the reason I wake up every day.  You are my life.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I can’t ask you to marry me. I want to, God, do I want to.” Jason’s eyes glistened and he blinked back tears quickly. “our life is too dangerous at the moment but I want to commit to you…I want us to be together, forever.  So, I went out and bought this.  A symbol of our love.”

The tears dripped down Courtney’s cheeks as Jason snapped open the lid of the box.  A platinum ring stared up at her, the cluster of sapphires winking back at her.

“It’s beautiful, Jason.” Courtney exclaimed softly.  Jason reached in the box and pulled out the ring.  Kissing it softly, he placed the ring on the tip of her finger and slid it on.  “This isn’t a proposal but a promise.  I promise that one day, we will get married and I promise that I will love you – always, no matter what.”

Courtney smiled through her tears.  Her hands rose of their own accord and traced the planes of Jason’s face.  Her hands glided over the stubble on his cheeks, the soft skin of his eyes.  Her eyes fluttered closed as her fingertips dipped in and out of the hollows.  As her hands trailed downwards towards his chest, Courtney leaned forward and kissed him.

Emotions swirled and combusted as their lips met.  “I love you,” she murmured as he gently laid her on her back. 

“I love you – always, no matter what,” Jason said, smiling back at her as his lips covered hers.

“Courtney!”  Carly yelled through the door, “It’s almost time for the wedding to start.”  Courtney was jerked back to the present and she gasped, startled. 

“I’m almost ready,” she called out to Carly.  “I just need a few more minutes.”

********

As guests piled in, Max and Marco ushered them to their seats.  Marco’s wife Aimee rushed into the church, having just gotten out of her chef’s uniform.  Behind her came, Courtney’s friends from Atlantic City.  Marcie, Carrie and Belle had just gotten into the Port Charles airport after weather had delayed them.  Sliding into the pews, they readied themselves for the wedding of one of their best friends.

At the altar, Sonny and A.J. stood.  A.J. had finally cleaned up after Sonny had threatened to shoot him in the family jewels if he didn’t get his act together.  The sweat poured off of A.J.’s forehead in the brisk autumn air of sanctuary.  His nerves were shot but he just kept closing his eyes and imagining the vision that his bride would be.

Glancing at the man beside him, Sonny grinned at the sight.  Leaning over to whisper in A.J.’s ear, Sonny said, “You look a little nervous.  Are you sure that you wouldn’t want a shot of vodka?  It might calm your nerves.”

A.J. swallowed convulsively.  “Fuck off.”

*******

 “Courtney!!!” Carly yelled rushing around.  “You have twenty minutes until the music starts…you need to get out here!”

“I’ll be right there…I just need a few more minutes.”  Courtney yelled.  Taking one last look at herself in the mirror, Courtney closed her eyes.  Gathering strength she looked at her reflection.

“Today, I become Courtney Matthews Quartermaine.  Today, I pledge to love and honour the man that I have chosen.  Forsaking all others.”  Squeezing her eyes shut, the tears seeped out slowly.  Fiercely wiping them away, Courtney took one last look in the mirror. 

Her eyes grew wide at the reflection she saw staring back at her.  Swinging around, she stared at the man who stood in the doorway.

Dressed all in black, the man looked at her.  Black denim was soaked right through and water dripped off of the black leather jacket that clung to his broad shoulders.  Raindrops glistened throughout the spiked hair but it was his eyes that burned.  The blue of them seemed to spear right into Courtney’s heart and see her true feelings.

“Jason!!  What are you doing here?”  Courtney exclaimed.

*********

Guests grew nervous and the whispers grew louder as the bride had yet to appear.  Sonny was waiting for Courtney to come out of the room, when the bridal march had started but she had yet to appear.

Looking around, he knocked on the door.  “Courtney,” he said urgently.  “Come on, it’s time to go.  The wedding has started.” 

Sonny was ready to pick the lock on the door as Carly and A.J. rushed out of the sanctuary.  “What the hell is going on?”  A.J. asked. 

“Courtney hasn’t come out yet, A.J. I’m starting to worry about her.”  Sonny replied.

Carly grabbed Sonny’s arm and pulled him aside.  “Sonny, I heard a motorcycle earlier.  Maybe Jason came to take Courtney away from this disaster.”

“Why would Jason do that?  He and Courtney don’t mean anything to each other.”  Sonny asked, the wheels turning in his mind.

“That’s it,” A.J. yelled.  “I’ve had enough…I’m going in.”  With that said A.J. put all his strength against the door and shoved.

The door popped open and A.J. stumbled inside with Sonny and Carly close on his heels.  They all looked around the room, noticing that Courtney seemed to be no where in sight.

“Courtney,” A.J. called out as he walked farther into the room.  Stopping at the dressing table, he noticed a note with A.J. written on it.

A sense of trepidation filled the air as A.J. slowly picked up the note.  He opened the note and slowly began to read.  The colour drained out of his face as he read the words.

“Well,” Carly pushed.  “What does it say?”

A.J. raised his eyes, tears glittering harshly in the dark brown depths.  “It says….it says that she can’t marry me.  She left me.”

The door popped open and A.J. stumbled inside with Sonny and Carly close on his heels.  They all looked around the room, noticing that Courtney seemed to be no where in sight.

“Courtney,” A.J. called out as he walked farther into the room.  Stopping at the dressing table, he noticed a note with A.J. written on it.

A sense of trepidation filled the air as A.J. slowly picked up the note.  He opened the note and slowly began to read.  The colour drained out of his face as he read the words.

“Well,” Carly pushed.  “What does it say?”

A.J. raised his eyes, tears glittering harshly in the dark brown depths.  “It says….it says that she can’t marry me.  She left me.”

The note slowly fell to the ground as A.J. crumpled it in his hands and let it fall.  Tears shone brightly as he pushed his way out of the room and into the foyer.  His gaze swept over the room, searching for any sign of his fiancée.  With a sinking heart, he knew that she had really left him.  His gaze landed on the large oak doors that led out to the street.  Trepidation filled his soul as he slowly reached up for the latch and pushed the doors open.

Creak,  the doors slowly opened and A.J. stared out into the gloomy day.  Rain softly poured down, splashing into already formed puddles.  He stepped out onto the darkened stone steps and looked out into the rain…searching for clues.  Hesitating, he went down the steps…his anger increasing with each passing moment.

She couldn’t have left, she couldn’t have.  She loves me!  A.J. made his way to the pathway that led out to the road.  Puddles graced the side of the walkway and A.J.’s eye caught on something lying in one of them.  Walking slowly towards the puddle, his breath backed up in his throat as he stared at the object.  Roses. Crushed and wilted red roses, bound only by a muddy white ribbon, lay in the puddle.  A.J. stared at Courtney’s bouquet.  He had had it specially made for their wedding because red roses were their flower.  His and hers.

A.J. bent down and picked up the crushed roses.  Shaking them gently, he held them in a tight fist as he searched the streets for signs.  Not finding any, he turned around and headed back into the church.  His head was held low as he kept his eyes focused on the ground, not wanting to see the sympathetic looks from family and not wanting to see…the joyous looks from the others who had told Courtney that he would never amount to anything good.

Walking into the anteroom, A.J. met Sonny and Carly’s eyes.  Sonny’s were confused and Carly tried hard to hide her glee but she was failing miserably.

“Go ahead and laugh it up, Carly,” A.J. said.  “She left, just what you had always hoped for.  She left me with a fucking Dear John letter, not even the courtesy to tell me to my face.”

“Maybe she didn’t know how to,” Carly said softly, “maybe it hurt her too much.  Did she say why she left?”  A.J. eyes fluttered to the crumpled note as the anger began to replace the hurt and the sadness.  She’d left him…with no explanation and no reason.  SHE’D LEFT HIM.

Carly reached down and picked up the note…

” ’A.J., I’m sorry that I can’t say this to your face but…but I can’t marry you right now.  Maybe later but not today, not right now.  This was a decision made in haste and I’ve made those too many times in my life.  I can’t afford to screw this up now.  It wouldn’t be fair to you or to me and it wouldn’t be fair to…  It just wouldn’t be fair.  Please don’t try to look for me; I’ll contact you when I can.  I’m sorry. Courtney’ “

As Carly finished reading the note, she looked up in time to see A.J.’s hand fling out and release the bouquet of roses.  The flowers flew and smashed into the lamp that sat on the dressing room table.  Glass crashed everywhere and Sonny looked at A.J. in resignation.

Turning on his heel after surveying the damage, A.J. made his way out into the foyer.  Sonny had relayed the message to Mike that the wedding would not be happening. In turn, Mike had told the guests that were gathered in the sanctuary. Many of the guests had left by now, choosing to leave A.J. to wallow in his misery.

Sonny and Carly followed A.J. into the foyer and watched as the meltdown began.  “That little bitch, she left me.  I can’t believe she left me.  We had a future together and she left me.”  A.J. was pacing back and forth, as he yanked the bowtie from around his neck. 

Carly’s eyes grew wide as she listened to A.J. She knew he was upset but he had better cool down or Sonny would have his ass in a sling.  “Listen A.J….maybe you better calm down and think this through.” 

“Why should I? She’s a slut…she left me!” A.J. screamed.

“Watch your mouth,” Sonny said his focus on A.J.  He was letting him speak, even though the words coming out of his mouth weren’t the most complementary.  A.J. swung around to meet Sonny’s gaze and stared at him.

“It’s your entire fault Corinthos.  You and that skanky wife of yours.  I never would have had to marry Courtney if you hadn’t have stolen my son.  It’s all your fault.”  A.J. continued to pace around, yelling about Courtney at the top of his lungs, oblivious to anything else.  “It’s all your fucking fault…if you hadn’t have stolen my son…”

Sonny had begun to fill with rage at A.J., that stupid prick was blaming everything on him, once again.  When would he ever learn?

“You little—“ Sonny was suddenly cut off .

“You know what, A.J.?” Carly’s voice cut through Sonny’s.  “I’m glad that Courtney left you, I’m glad that she wised up and saw you for the little prick that you are.  You don’t deserve her and she saw you for the weasel that you are.”

“You little bitch,” A.J. screamed, walking up to Carly and getting close to her face.  Sonny started to intervene but Carly staved him off with a hand.  “It’s you…it’s all about you.”  The harsh sound of rancid, foul breath hit Carly in the face but she remained calm.   “If you hadn’t lied about Michael.  If you hadn’t pretended that Jason was Michael’s father.  IF YOU HADN’T STOLEN HIM AWAY FROM ME!  None of this would have happened.  We wouldn’t be here right now.  I would never have gone after Courtney…I wouldn’t have played her to get my every whim and insert myself into the all-mighty, all powerful Corinthos Clan.”

A.J.’s eyes clouded over with tears as he moved away from Carly…his anger turning swiftly into sadness.  “But I did…I did marry her, I did fall in love with…I played the what if game.  I made plans for the future, for our family…for fifty years down the road.  But it’s gone again…up in smoke.”  A.J.’s voice had dropped to a bare whisper as he slumped against the wall…a lone tear trickling down his face.

Carly’s gaze turned sympathetic as she watched A.J.’s destruction.  She wondered what had changed Courtney’s mind.  Had it really been Jason?  Or had she just had a moment of doubt followed by recognition?  Carly wondered as she quickly glanced at Sonny who was making arrangements with the Minister and the church attendants to shut everything down.

Carly’s eyes made the slow trek back over to the slumped form but she stopped as she heard a faint commotion coming from the sanctuary.  Her eyes widened as she made out the word.

“I have to go in there.” The woman’s voice shrilled.

“You can’t, I have my orders.”  Came Johnny’s voice.

“You can’t stop me, I’m a close and personal friend of the family, and they’d want me with them.  With that said the body that the shrill voice belonged to busted through the anteroom door.  Carly took in the sight and sighed heavily.

“Get the hell out of here, Elizabeth.  Nobody wants you here.” Carly said, her voice rising.

“Well,” Elizabeth sniffed, “here I thought you would want some moral support.  Is it true?  Did Courtney really leave A.J. standing at the altar?” Liz’s gaze found A.J.’s figure against the wall and smiled secretly at the vision her presented. 

“Yes, it’s true Elizabeth,” Sonny said.  “She left, although she didn’t really say why.”  As the words left Sonny’s mouth, Marco walked into the room.

“Well?” Sonny asked.  “What did you find out?”

“Nothing much, sir.  Seems like some people saw a motorcycle parked out front in the rain about an hour ago but no one saw who was riding it.  It could have been anyone.”  Marco said apologetically.

“That slut,” screamed A.J.  “She left me for Jason…that bitch.”

“Now, we don’t know that for sure, A.J.” Carly said calmly, trying to hold back the smile that wanted to break out.

“Jason would never go with Courtney,” Liz said in her shrill.  “Jason loves me; we’re together…forever and always.  He loves me.”

“Elizabeth!” Carly yelled, at her breaking point. “Jason doesn’t love you…he never has, he never will.  He left you remember, just a couple of days ago.  I know, he told me.

“He didn’t really break up with me, he’s just confused.” Liz said, tears wavering in her eyes.  “He loves me…he wouldn’t leave with that slut Courtney.” As Liz saw the truth in Carly’s eyes, her worry and sadness dissipated and anger took over.

“That little whore…does she think she’ll be able to get away with this?  If she thinks that, she has another thing or to coming…”  Liz’s voice rose and fell as she vented her anger out onto the unsuspecting room.

As A.J. screamed about injustices done to him and Liz screamed about her great love for Jason and hatred for Courtney, Marco’s wife came out of the kitchen. She moved over to the lavish cake that stood proudly on the table and admired her handiwork that no one would appreciate.

Eyes gleaming, Carly watched the chef admire her work.  An idea began to form in her mind as she watched A.J. and Liz move together lamenting their trials for all to hear.  They paced closely to Carly, calling her at bitch at random intervals.  Normally, a stop would have been put to their tirades but Sonny was busy with the arrangements for the church and Carly was enjoying herself immensely.

“Oh, my God,” Aimee said from the sidelines.  “Don’t these two every shut up.  It’s like fingernails on a chalk board.”

“No, they won’t shut up until we shut them up,” Carly said with a sideways glance at the brunette beside her.  Looking beyond her, the cake beckoned to Carly.  Meeting the woman’s eyes, Carly motioned to the cake.  “Would you mind?”

“No, not at all.  At least it will be put to good use.”  Both women moved over to the cake.  Lifting it slightly, they looked at each other and grinned.

The turned back towards the ranting duo and Carly yelled, “A.J.! Elizabeth!”  The duo turned around and the women threw the cake.  The wonderful chocolate masterpiece flew majestically in the air and landed with a resounding splat on the A.J.  Cake flew everywhere, landing on Elizabeth who was wearing a pink, holey, crocheted outfit that was not made for her figure or colouring.

Chocolate smeared both of them and Carly tried hard to stifle the laughter but it escaped.  Smiling, Aimee walked over to A.J.  Icing coated his face.  Taking her finger, Aimee ran it through the icing.  Bringing the finger to her mouth, she tasted it.  “Mmmm…my best one yet.  I knew it would be a masterpiece.”

Sonny shook his head as he stepped out of the church. The rain was so heavy; he could barely see a foot in front of him. Sighing, he wondered where his sister was and prayed that she was okay.

********************

The rain pounded the black asphalt fiercely as the wind whipped through the darkened skies.  Dusk had just fallen as the leashed power of the black motorcycle ripped into the parking lot.  The tires screeched as the bike swung around and skidded to a stop.  The lights from the city became a backdrop for the two people that got off the motorcycle.

Drenched, the couple tried to adjust their clothing to make the trek into the hotel lobby but it was all for naught.  Wet, black jeans molded the length of the man’s legs and the black t-shirt that clung to his broad shoulders also outlined his pectorals and tight abdomen.  Water trickled down the strong, sinewy muscles of his forearms as the rain continued to pour.  Reaching up, the man took his helmet off, running his damp hand through the short spikes.  Hanging the helmet on the handlebar of the bike, the man turned his attention to his companion.

Blonde hair cascaded from the confines of the helmet and tangled with the straps. He reached out to help her remove it.  His fingers brushed her fumbling ones away and he slowly untangled her hair and undid the buckle.  His fingers brushed the soft skin of her chin as he slid the strap free.  Letting the straps hang, he grasped the sides of the helmet and slowly pulled it off.  He placed the helmet on the other handlebar and looked at the beauty before him. 

Her hair was slightly matted, the ends tangled and wet.  Drops of water trickled down the worn leather of the jacket that she wore. The jacket enveloped her in the warmth of the man who usually wore and protected her from the harsh wind and rain.  When her arms had been around him on the bike, nothing had been able to intrude in the fantasy that they were together again.

Beneath the jacket, she wore a dress.  Laden with water, the cumbersome crinoline and other various materials clung heavily to her curves.  The couple smiled slightly at each other, imagining the sight that they presented. 

Courtney looked around, spotting the lights in the background.  Her eyes widened as she’d realized where they were.  “New York City?” Her voice rose on the last note as she turned questioning eyes on the man before her.

Shrugging his shoulders, Jason smiled sheepishly.  “I knew you’d want to get away and this was the closest place I could find.  I thought about the cabin but I figured you’d want to get farther away from Port Charles”

“It’s perfect, Jason.  At least for now.”  Shivering slightly against the cold rain, Courtney pulled the jacket closer, revelling in the manly scent that wafted from the worn leather.”

Jason noticed her shiver and put out his hand for hers.  “Come on, Ms. Matthews.  Let’s get you in one of those hotel robes and out of that wet dress.”

Courtney giggled and put her hand in his, “You just want to see me in less clothing.  I know you, Mr. Morgan.  I know the way that your mind works.”

“Me?  Never! I would never think that way.” Jason grinned as his gaze travelled over Courtney.  Tightening his grip on her hand, he started to walk swiftly towards the hotel doors.  Courtney laughed as he pulled her along, struggling to keep up with him.

“Jason, wait!” Courtney yelled laughingly through the rain.  “Hang on a minute.”  Tugging her hand free of his, Courtney bent down and slipped off the high-heeled shoes that she wore with her wedding dress.  Reaching for Jason’s hand, she smiled softly. “There, that’s better.  Now, let’s go!”

The couple continued toward the doors, a sight to behold.  They walked into the lobby holding hands.  As they approached the reception desk, the clerk’s eyes widened in disbelief.  Stopping in front of the clerk, Jason reached into his front pocket.

The clerk’s eyes went wide as he watched Jason pull out a wad of cash.  Pulling some bills from the wad, Jason looked at the young man standing behind the counter.

“I’d like a room please.”

The young man swallowed quickly as he looked in Jason’s eyes.  Cold, blue eyes stared back at him as if daring him to make a mistake.

“What type of room would you like, sir?”  The clerk asked nervously, sweat beading on his forehead.

“Any room that has a bed will do fine.”

Glancing at the couple before him, the clerk made a decision.  It looked like a special night, after all.  Grabbing all the necessary forms, the clerk presented them to Jason.  “Here you are, sir.  I just need two forms of identification and you’re signature on this line.” 

Jason shifted slightly and pulled out a thin leather wallet.  Flipping it open, Jason presented it to the clerk and signed his name on the forms.  Courtney leaned over his arm and smiled mischievously as he wrote.  He pulled some bills of the wad and left them on counter.  The clerk passed over the key card with instructions on how to use it.

“Thank you,” replied Jason.  Turning to the woman on his right, Jason took her hand turning her towards the elevator.  Courtney laughed softly as they began to walk away. “What’s so funny?”  He asked.

“I haven’t been Susie Niceass in a long time, I forgot how good it felt,” she said, smiling impishly up at him.

“Well, you know…you do have a really nice ass,” replied Jason, as he peeked over her shoulder to get a better look. 

“Stop that, Mr. Morgan,” Courtney said playfully swatting him with her arm.  “This is not the time to fantasize.”

“Damn and I was just starting to get into it too,” he said huskily, his voice dropping slightly.  They both smiled at each other and began the trek towards the elevator.  Hand-in-hand.  Behind them, the clerk stared agog, his gaze focused on Courtney’s ass, as the elevator doors closed behind the couple.

**********

The lights were dimmed and the mood was sombre in the Corinthos’ penthouse.  Carly watched as Sonny paced in front of the window.  He would leave that position from time to time, to call his men or refresh his drink but then he would resume his pacing.

“Sonny,” Carly said softly.  “You need to relax; Courtney can take care of herself.”

“Damn it!  Where would she be?  I’ve got every man looking for her and there’s no trace of her.  She wouldn’t know how to disappear of the face of the Earth,” Sonny yelled.

“Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe she had help,” Carly replied.

“Who would help her, Carly? Who would care that much?” Sonny asked swinging around to meet her eyes.

“Jason,” she said.  “Jason would do it because he knows what kind of man A.J. is.  Jason would do it because he was the one who broke the news to her about the illegal wedding.  Jason would do it because he works for you and she’s your sister.”

“True,” Sonny said.  “I guess he’d want to protect her and help her get back on her feet.”  His cell phone rang and Sonny turned away to answer it.  Sighing heavily, Carly looked at her wrist and rubbed her fingers over the barren skin where her bracelet once laid.

What Courtney needed was time to process her relationship with A.J. as well as time to figure out where she wanted to go with her life, Carly prayed that Jason would be there for Courtney.  She knew there was something between the two; they just needed time to explore it.

*********

Courtney led the way into the plush hotel room, her hand still firmly ensconced in Jason’s.  Gasping in shock, she stared in pleasure at the room before her.

Rose petals were strewn throughout the room.  Champagne was set on ice in a bucket off to the side.  A king-size bed dominated the room, with a marble bathroom leading out of it.  French doors led outside onto a small intimate balcony.  A basket of fruit and chocolates sat in the middle of the bed.  Courtney walked towards it and picked up the engraved card.  Opening it slowly she read aloud, Congratulations to the Newlyweds!  Enjoy your stay at the Plaza Hotel.

Spinning around, Courtney stared at Jason.  “What did you do, Morgan?”

Jason looked at her seriously.  “Nothing, I didn’t do anything.  I guess the clerk assumed we were newlyweds and would appreciate the honeymoon suite.”

“Why would he think….oh!  I guess that would be the logical assumption.”  Courtney smiled ruefully and made her way to the small dressing table.  Jason followed hesitantly, not sure how to proceed.

Shifting slightly, Jason watched apprehensively as Courtney walked around the room.  Her fingers grazed over the soft satin linens of the bed.  Candles stood tall and straight, ready to be lit for a night of romance.  Picking up a handful of rose petals, Courtney breathed in the fragrance and glanced over at Jason.

“We should really get out of these wet clothes,” she commented. 

“Yes, we should.”  Jason walked to where Courtney was standing.  Gesturing towards the bathroom he said, “Do you want to go first or shall I?”

Courtney laughed nervously.  She shouldn’t be nervous with Jason but she was.  Berating herself, she glanced at the marble shower and then back at Jason.  “Why don’t you go first? It’ll take me a few minutes to extricate myself from this dress.”

“Okay,” he replied.  Jason turned towards the bathroom and walked towards it.  Courtney gasped in pleasure as he reached for the hem of his shirt.  She smiled as the damp black fabric was pulled up and revealed a taut, sinewy back.  Tanned a deep golden brown, the rock hard muscles gleamed in the soft light from the chandelier.

Jason continued his trek towards the bathroom, depositing clothes on the floor with hurried leisure.  He’d never been one to be shy within his own skin.  Courtney knew that would never change.  As he reached the doorway, it dawned on Courtney that she wouldn’t be able to undress by herself.  Steeling herself against the heady pleasure that coursed through her veins, Courtney called out to him.

“Jason!”

“Yeah, Court?  What wrong?”  Jason asked

Courtney blushed hotly, motioning him back towards her.  “I can’t get out of my dress.  I need you to undo the buttons on my dress.”

“Okay,” came the soft voice.  Jason walked over to her and brushed her hair out of the way.  She bent her neck down to give him better access as he began to undo the long line of pearl beads.  Clumsily, his fingers undid each one.  Finally, the last button was undone and Jason stepped away allowing his fingers to linger against the soft skin that he had uncovered.

Hastily, he moved backwards towards the shower.  “There, all undone.  I’ll just go and have my shower now.”  Spinning around, he walked into the bathroom, his belt hitting the floor as the door slammed shut.

Courtney squeezed her eyes shut as she heard the water turn on.  Opening her eyes, she dropped them to the floor.  Gathering strength, she walked slowly towards the dressing table.  Looking down at her hands, she stopped.  Her eyes became locked on her left ring finger.  Her engagement ring sparkled up at her, mocking her every move.  Running her thumb over the diamond, the events of the afternoon flashed before her eyes.

**************

“Today, I become Courtney Matthews Quartermaine.  Today, I pledge to love and honour the man that I have chosen.  Forsaking all others.”  Squeezing her eyes shut, the tears seeped out slowly.  Fiercely wiping them away, Courtney took one last look in the mirror. 

Her eyes grew wide at the reflection she saw staring back at her.  Swinging around, she stared at the man who stood in the doorway.

Dressed all in black, the man looked at her.  Black denim was soaked right through and water dripped off of the black leather jacket that clung to his broad shoulders.  Raindrops glistened throughout the spiked hair but it was his eyes that burned.  The blue of them seemed to spear right into Courtney’s heart and see her true feelings.

“Jason!!  What are you doing here?”  Courtney exclaimed.

“I’m here to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life,” he replied walking into the room.  Closing the door, he moved in front of where she was standing.

“Why do you care, Jason?  You want Elizabeth.” Courtney stated angrily, her voice rising slightly.

“No!  “That’s what I came to talk to you about,” Jason pleaded.  He shoved his hand into his pocket, wrapping his fingers around the chain.  “What you saw that night...with Elizabeth in the penthouse.  It didn’t happen.

“Oh, don’t give me that crap, Morgan!” Courtney said harshly.  “Regardless of what other people think, I am not naïve or gullible.  I am not stupid nor am I blind. I saw everything with my own two eyes.  She was in your penthouse, dressed in that horrible outfit waiting for you.” 

“Yes, she was waiting for me.  But I didn’t invite her there; I didn’t even know she was there.”  Jason replied heatedly.

“You know what?” Courtney asked Jason.  “You’re an adult, what you do with your time is none of my concern.  It’s your life and your business.  Not mine.”  Tears welled up in Courtney eyes.  Blinking furiously, she looked at him.

“No, wait Court.  It is your concern; you have to know what really happened.”  Jason broke off as he looked at Courtney’s face.  Tears trembled on her lashes as she looked at him.

“No!  I know all I need to know Jason.”  She blinked back the trembling tears but one escaped leaving a path down her silken cheek.  “We aren’t meant for each other… we never were.  Just two people passing in the night who tried to make it work but couldn’t.” Courtney sniffled and wiped the tear away.  She looked up and him and put a brave smile on her face.  “We had our fun in the sun but it didn’t last.  Now, it’s time to move on and live the life that we are meant to lead.”

Courtney tried to brush past him and walk out the door but Jason’s hand snaked out to grab her arm.  “You didn’t really mean that did you?”

“Yes”, she said quietly.

“You know we meant more than that to each other,” he whispered urgently, his grip tightening on her arm, his other hand clenched around the chain.  The ring was clasped tightly in his fingers, the cool metal cutting into his skin. 

Courtney looked at him and shook her head. “No, what we had is over,” she whispered.

“Well then, if that’s the case, why did I find this on the docks?” Jason pulled out the chain and left it to dangle from his fingers, swinging in front of Courtney’s eyes.

Courtney’s mouth fell open but no words came out.  Stricken, she looked at the chain and then into the burning blue embers of Jason’s eyes.  Jason moved his hand from her arm and grabbed her hands together.

“This means something,” he said, pushing the chain closer to her face.  “You wouldn’t have kept it if it didn’t.  Please don’t marry A.J.  Please don’t make your decisions in haste or because you are mad at me.  Hear what I have to say first and then decided.”

The tears fell unheeded now.  Through her blurry gaze, the ring glinted of the lights.  Gathering all her resolve, she reached out and touched the ring sending it swinging in his fist.  Meeting his blue gaze, she said, “I’m sorry Jason.  I can’t listen to you.  My life is with A.J. now.”  Courtney tore her gaze away from Jason’s as he bowed his head.

“I hope you find the happiness that you were always meant to find.”  Jason blinked back the moisture that rapidly welled in his eyes.  Taking her hand, he dangled the chain over her outstretched palm.  Slowly, he let the chain pool into her hand and closed her fingers around it. 

“Take this ring back.  You’ll never know when you’ll need the memories that it holds.”  One faint tear made its way down his cheek as he leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to her forehead.  “Goodbye. May we meet again through dreams and lullabies.”

Turning around, Jason made his way out of the anteroom.  Courtney watched him through tear-filled eyes as he walked out, shoulders hunched.  Wiping her eyes, Courtney grabbed her bouquet and made her way out into the foyer of the church.  She stopped only once, to check her makeup and gather her thoughts.

It was time, everyone was waiting.  Time to become Courtney Quartermaine.  Raising her head, she looked at the doors leading to the sanctuary.  The music began and Courtney took a deep breath.  Outside, the rain continued to pound against the stained glass windows.  As she took her first step, the hairs on the back of neck stood up and began to prickle.

Slowly, she turned around.  There, silhouetted in the doorway stood Jason.  The rain poured down streaming over his features.  She wanted to go with him but she couldn’t.  She clutched the bouquet tightly in her hands and gasped as felt the ring.  She hadn’t put it down.  Pulling it away from the bouquet, she ran her fingers over the inscription and looked back at Jason.

I love you – always no matter what.

Courtney closed her eyes tightly against the onslaught of memories that barraged her.  Their first meeting at that bar in New Orleans.  The first kiss.  How he looked when he woke up in the morning.  Their first date, the first time they made love.  And then…their final kiss in the rain.  Shaking her head, she opened her eyes and stared at him.

Holding her gaze, he held out his hand.  “Please,” he mouthed.

Courtney’s eyes widened as a bolt of lightening illuminated the sky behind him and just like that lightening, it hit her.  She still loved him.  She’d never stopped.  How could she give her heart to A.J when she was in love with another man?  She had to see what could be…

Running towards him, tears falling freely, Courtney placed her hand in his.  Jason grasped her hand and they ran out into the pouring rain. As they reached the bike, Courtney’s hand opened and the bouquet of red roses fell unheeded into a puddle.

Wrapping her arms securely around Jason’s hard waist, the duo took off into the driving rain.  The only sound that filled their ears was the rain on the asphalt…

****

Courtney was jerked back into reality by the shower shutting off.  He was done.  She turned around determined to get out of her dress when she heard a loud curse and then the bathroom door opening.

“Court?”  Jason questioned?

“Yeah?”

“We have a slight problem,” he replied wearily. 

“What’s that?” She asked, turning around to meet his gaze.  Her breath backed up in her throat.  Jason stood there, glisteningly wet with a small white towel wrapped around his narrow waist.  Water droplets were caught in the soft hair that travelled down his abdomen and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from it. 

“We have no clothes.” Jason stated.  Courtney’s head snapped up and their eyes locked. 

“Oh, my God….what are we going to do?”