Journey Online

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Rating: PG, for now!

Summary: After finding out the truth about AJ’s deceptions, Courtney moves in with Sonny and (a pregnant) Carly. Jason has just returned from the island, and he doesn’t know that Courtney now lives next door to him. And, Courtney doesn’t realize that the union between Jason and Brenda never meant a thing, or that they are no longer together. What will happen when they find out the truth - will they end up together, or will other circumstances keep them apart?

“The Girl Next Door” Prologue:

She looked at her surroundings. It wasn’t exactly where she’d envisioned she would end up after several years of marriage. The decorum needed a brighter touch and left a lot to be desired, and the location was far from what she’d left behind across town. However, this was what she would call home, at least for the time being. And even though she hated the whole situation, she knew that she could never go back to the old apartment.

“The guest room is, uh…it’s all made up for you,” Sonny said as he walked down the stairs, scratching his head. “I just haven’t…I haven’t figured out what we’re going to do about your dog.”

Courtney sighed. She hated being any kind of imposition to him or to his family. Yet, she had only been at the penthouse for five minutes, and she was already creating problems.

“Look, Sonny, I can find somewhere else…”

“No, it’s fine…it’s fine,” he interrupted, holding his hands up. “I just meant, uh, that we’re pretty high up here, and the building doesn’t exactly have a lawn…but Michael is going to love having Rosie around, so we’ll figure something out.”

She smiled and thought about giving him a hug to thank him, but then stopped short. Although they were brother and sister, they were never particularly close, and Sonny wasn’t the hugging type, anyway. Luckily, Carly walked in to break up the somewhat uncomfortable moment.

“So, Courtney, go ahead and make yourself at home,” she said as she walked over and poured herself a brandy. She held up the glass. “Sonny? Courtney?”

Courtney shook her head. “No, thanks.”

Sonny accepted a glass and turned to his sister. “Well, how about water, then? C’mon…let’s just toast to new beginnings. You’ll never have to worry about AJ again…I’ll make sure of that.”

She forced a smile and took the water from him, but deep inside, she didn’t want to toast to anything. The life that she had put together for herself -- the one that she had sacrificed her own reputation for -- had completely fallen apart. The one person she had trusted most in the world had betrayed her, forcing her to put a wall up around her head and her heart. She didn’t know if she would ever trust again, and starting over in a place where guards were posted outside of the door 24/7 wasn’t her ideal situation.

They clinked their glasses and exchanged glances as each sipped their beverage of choice, but already, the level of discomfort was high. It wasn’t because they weren’t comfortable with one other, but because both Sonny and Carly knew that Courtney needed her own space, and some time to sort things out. There was also the factor of Sonny’s dangerous (and sometimes deadly) career; now that Carly was pregnant and his sister was living there, he had to take more precautions than ever to make sure that the penthouse was safe. And there was only one other person he’d trust to ensure that: Jason.

Chapter 1, “Awkwardness & Boredom”

“Soo, Michael, are you excited about getting a new little brother or sister?”

Courtney was sitting cross-legged on the living room floor of the penthouse, playing some kind of baseball board game with her nephew. Carly had run out to do some shopping errands, and Sonny was out “on business.” For lack of anything better to do before her shift at Kelly’s began, Courtney had volunteered to babysit.

The young, red-haired boy scrunched his face up thoughtfully in his attempt to answer her question. “Ummm…I guess so,” he finally decided. “I kinda am, but I’m kinda not.”

“Oh yeah? Why ‘kinda not’?”

He shrugged his shoulders before moving his red figurine around the bases. “Well, if we get a new baby, then Mom ‘an Dad will pay attention to it ALL the time,” he said with exasperation.

She smiled and bit her lip to try to keep from laughing. Out of the mouths of kids!

“Well,” she responded as she began to spin the dial for her blue team, “it also might be neat to have a little brother or sister, because then you get to be the older one and show them how to do all sorts of things.”

He studied the game carefully, intent on making his next move. If he picked another good card, he might be able to move his guy from second base to home plate. It was like Candy Land for boys, if you will. He narrowed his eyes in determination as he moved his small hand toward the deck of cards. And then out of nowhere…

“Courtney? Did my Dad show you how to do all sorts of things? I mean, you’re his sister, right?”

She sighed and thought back to her childhood, wishing that she would have had Sonny’s guidance at times. Maybe then, they might be a lot closer than they were now. But, she had to take what she could get, and even though they both had to make mistakes to get to this point in their lives, she wasn’t going to regret any of those moments if they brought them closer as a family.

“Well, I didn’t know your Dad very well when I was growing up, but we’re trying to make up for lost time now,” she explained carefully.

“What’s ‘lost time’?”

She laughed. “Have your dad explain it to you someday, okay?”

He nodded and went back to the board game. Kids were so easily distracted. How she wished her own life could be that easy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He had tried not to think about her since the day she had shot Coleman. Granted, it hadn’t worked, and she was on his mind more than ever, but the adventure on the island while him and Carly were trying to rescue Sonny and Brenda had helped to somewhat distract him. But now, he was back in Port Charles, and he had heard the news. It had spread like wildfire, and the whole town was talking about it. His brother, AJ, had made another mistake, and this time, the reasoning behind it was beyond anyone’s comprehension.

He had felt so guilty when he first found out. Hell, he had suspected AJ when Coleman had first made his confession, but when Taggert and Courtney were both so quick to believe in AJ’s innocence, he let it go. In a way, part of him didn’t want to believe it, either. Despite the fact that he and AJ were more enemies than they were friends, he didn’t want to see his brother mess up and drag the Quartermaine name through the mud again. Not only that, but he wanted to believe that Courtney was safe going home every day. Instead, she’d been terrified for weeks, and then had to find out the horrible truth herself.

He had gone to the island partly because of his devotion to Sonny and Carly, partly because of his promise to protect Brenda, and partly because he knew Courtney felt guilty for leaning on him all the time. He needed some space from her since that kiss, anyway.

He hadn’t even heard from her since he’d gotten back. Then again, he’d only been back for two days. Still, he had expected her to contact him and let him know where she had gone after she’d moved out of her and AJ’s apartment. He figured that Sonny had to know, and in time, he would tell Jason. Either that, or Carly would. Now that he no longer had an obligation to Brenda, since she was apparently back with Jax and would be granting him an annulment, he could expect everything to get back to normal.

He glanced at his watch. He had spent most of his day doing bookwork for Sonny, and it was barely even mid-afternoon. He needed to get out, get some fresh air, and clear his head.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She couldn’t help but to look up expectantly every time she heard the door open. And every time, it would be just another customer, and not the person she was hoping for.

But then again, did she really want to see him? Did she want him to see the pain in her eyes at having to go through the realization that her husband had never really loved her? Did she want him to think that she would run to him every time she had a problem in her life, and that she couldn’t stand on her own two feet?

She wiped down the counter and started carrying some of the dirty dishes back into the kitchen, until she had paced the floor at least a dozen times. By now, others had noticed the obvious tension in her step.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Bobbie offered as she walked back to fill an order.

Courtney shrugged and wiped her hands on a towel. “It’s nothing, really. I think I’ve just been feeling really stressed, between moving out of the apartment and in with Sonny, and trying not to think about the divorce…”

Bobbie smiled sympathetically and gave her a slight squeeze around the shoulder.

“I can totally understand why you’d feel that way. I know you’re going through a difficult time right now. But, are you sure it isn’t more than that?”

She stopped what she was doing. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I saw tension between you and Jason back when he was guarding you from the stalker…the day you told me that you had kissed another man. And now, I see you walking around here, looking at the door every time you hear it open, and your face falls every time it’s someone else.”

Courtney turned away from her and smoothed out her apron. “Don’t…don’t be silly. I mean, yes, there was some…awkwardness…between Jason and I a few weeks ago, but that’s over now.”

Bobbie smiled. “I wouldn’t be too sure of that.”

“Because he’s been not-so-subtly staring at you through the front window for the past five minutes.”

Chapter 2, “Dreams & Disappointment”

He didn’t really know how he’d ended up there. Okay, so that was a lie…he knew, but he didn’t want to admit it to himself. After all, admittance would mean that he would have to walk through those doors, sit down at the counter, order a cup of coffee, and pretend like everything was perfectly normal.

He turned away from the window when he saw Bobbie go into the kitchen after her. It was obvious from her body language that Courtney wasn’t dealing with things well. Why should he add to her stress? If he went in there now and tried to have a conversation with her, he was certain that it would only end up upsetting her even more. After all, she would probably accuse him of feeling sorry her, like everyone else. She probably wouldn’t accept that maybe he just cared about her and wanted to be there for her.

He flashed back to the conversation they’d had at the police station the day she shot Coleman. She had told him in simple enough terms that it probably wasn’t a good idea for him to keep looking out for her and supporting her.

“She was right…I have to let her take care of herself eventually,” he thought as he headed back toward his motorcycle. But just then, a voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Leaving so soon? You didn’t even make it to the door.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He paused in mid-stride and turned around to face her, his intense blue eyes meeting hers for the first time in two weeks. It was funny to think that they hadn’t gone that long without seeing each other in several months.

“I, uh…I saw that you were busy, and I figured that now probably wouldn’t be the best time,” he explained.

“Oh? And when would be the best time? Jason, you’re the last person I would expect to act different toward me because of how things worked out with AJ and me. Did I expect you to pity me, like everyone else? Yes, but --”

“Courtney, you know that I don’t pity you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “Okay, so if you don’t pity me, why are you afraid to talk to me? Because you suspected AJ all along, and you want to say ‘I told you so’? Well, go ahead - here’s your chance.”

He studied her quizzically for a moment. He couldn’t figure out why she was putting words in his mouth.

“Look, you need to slow down! I’m not here to say that I told you so, or anything else. I’m just here to be a friend to you. I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

She couldn’t bear to listen to the concern and compassion in his voice. He was married to Brenda, and she had Sonny to look out for her now. She had to remember that. She had to stop depending on him every time anything in her life went wrong.

But then, he took a step closer to her and opened his arms, and before she knew what she was doing, she was wrapped in his strong embrace and crying on his shoulder.

He held her with one arm and smoothed the back of her hair with his other free hand as she let her tears flow. She didn’t know why, but she couldn’t help herself. Maybe the comforting feeling of his leather jacket against her cheek created some sort of nostalgic feeling, or maybe they both recognized that she fit perfectly into his arms, though neither one of them would admit it.

“Shhh…it’s going to be okay,” he soothed as he moved her to sit down on a nearby bench.

Suddenly, she felt very foolish, and she moved away from him and quickly wiped her tears away.

“Jason, I…I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t keep dumping my problems on you. God, why do I keep doing that?!” She ran her hands through her hair, frustrated, and looked away from him. She saw Bobbie watching them through the window with a concerned look on her face, and she gave her a tiny wave to let her know she was okay.

“Courtney, you don’t have to be sorry for anything. I’m not going to judge you, you know. And if I didn’t want to be here for you, I wouldn’t be. I thought we were friends?”

She couldn’t look at him…wouldn’t look at him. One look into his eyes, and she fell right in…all coherent thought would fly out the window. She had to stay strong, for her own sake.

“Jason, we are friends. I told you before…you’ve been so good to me. And I appreciate that, I really do. But I have to move on, and get over my mistake with AJ. And you have to move on…with Brenda. She’s the one who should be the center of your attention. She’s the one who’s dying, not me.”

Her last statement took him by surprise. So, Sonny apparently hadn’t told Courtney everything that had taken place on the island. She still thought he was bound to his promise to take care of Brenda.

“Courtney, do me a favor? Let me go ask Bobbie if you can have the afternoon off. I have a lot to catch you up on.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Meanwhile, back at the penthouse…)

“Sonny…I’m really glad you’re home! I got so many cute things for the baby that I want to show you!” Carly had her head buried in a bunch of shopping bags as her husband shut the door behind him.

“Things for the baby? Carly, you’re only a few weeks pregnant. We don’t even know yet if it’s going to be a boy or a girl.”

He walked over to the liquor bottles and went to pour himself a drink, and then thought better of it. Carly had a drink yesterday, and though it was only small one, that would be the last one she would have for the next nine months. From now on, he was going to be a responsible father, and they would both be drinking water or sparkling cider.

She suddenly popped up with a bunch of tiny outfits in her hand and watched as he headed toward the kitchen with all of the alcohol in hand.

“Sonny? Where are you going?”

He re-emerged a few seconds later, with only a pitcher of cold water in hand. “Where was I going? I was…eliminating temptation.”

She smiled when she realized what he meant. “You’re going to be such a good father to our baby.”

He walked over to her and placed a hand gently on her stomach. “Wow…our baby.” For as tough as he was, it even amazed him that there was a life growing inside of her…a life they had created, together.

“You know,” he began, “for as much as I wanted…as much as I wanted Alexis’ baby to be mine, I’m glad now that it’s not. I wouldn’t want anything to take away from sharing…from sharing this experience with you.”

They started looking through the items that she had purchased together. Some were for a girl, and some were for a boy. Whatever sex the baby was, the other items would just be returned.

“You know,” she said and placed a hand on his arm, “It finally feels like everything is falling into place. I mean, I was so worried about Brenda and thinking that she’d end up taking you away from me, but in reality, she’s brought us even closer together. And now…well, we have Courtney here to share this time with us, and Jason is right across the hall. And lucky for him, he’s not obligated to worry about Brenda anymore, either.”

Sonny turned away from her. “Look…I’d just rather not talk about Brenda, okay? We settled all of this on the island. She made her choice, and I made mine.”

Carly shrugged. “Okay…then let’s talk about something else. For instance, why haven’t you told Jason yet that Courtney is living here?”

“Why does it matter when I tell Jason that Courtney’s living here?” he asked as he pulled off his necktie. “She doesn’t really need a guard anymore now that AJ is in jail and she has a restraining order against Coleman. I mean, yeah, I’m going to have Jason guarding this place once in a while, but she doesn’t need a bodyguard anymore.”

“Oh, so you don’t think it’ll be that big of a deal to either one of them that they’re living across the hall from each other?” she asked as she laughed.

He looked at her sideways and raised his eyebrows. “What are you laughing at? Why should it be a big deal that they’re…you know, that they’re neighbors?”

Carly smirked. “Oh honey, please don’t tell me you’re that blind! How can you not see it? Jason and Courtney are crazy about each other, and the only reason neither one of them have admitted to it is because she was with AJ, and he was stuck in that senseless marriage to Brenda. Now that they’re both free, it’ll be VERY interesting to see what happens.”

Sonny shook his head, his eyes darkening with anger. “Look, Carly, we’ve had this discussion before. There is absolutely nothing going on between Jason and Courtney. And there never will be.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that afternoon, the sun was beginning to set as Jason and Courtney walked through the park.

“I can’t believe that you just went ahead and married Brenda to keep her away from Sonny, even though you can’t stand her,” Courtney said after Jason filled her in on the status of his marriage. “Why didn’t you just tell me that in the first place? Jason, you know that you never have to lie to me. I would have understood.”

He sighed and looked down at the spot on his hand where his wedding ring used to be. He could never tell her the biggest reason why he had married Brenda: to distance himself from her. Now, neither one of them were wearing rings on their fingers. So much had changed in such a short amount of time.

“It’s not important,” he said. “All you need to know is that whether or not I have any kind of obligation to anyone else, I don’t consider you a bother in any way. We’re friends, and friends look out for each other.”

She nodded, trying to let everything that he was saying sink in. All she kept seeing in her mind, though, was Jason standing at the altar with Brenda.

“The wedding must have been pretty terrible then, huh?” She couldn’t help but to laugh. She had told Jason a few weeks ago that she couldn’t picture him in some sleazy 24-hour Vegas chapel, and that still rang true.

He laughed along with her, glad to see a smile on her face, but also reliving that crazy night in his head. “Yeah…awful is one word you could use to describe it. I’m just glad that it’s over with now. Brenda is with Jax, and I think that’s the way she wanted it to be all along.”

They had gotten to the bridge, and she stopped to look out over the water.

“You know, when I was a little girl, I had dreams about what my wedding would be like. I had all these plans - every little girl does, you know - to fall in love and have the biggest, most wonderful wedding that anyone had ever seen. And when said “I do,” it was supposed to last a lifetime. And look where I am now. When I married AJ, I didn’t even know him. I mean, even when I thought I knew him, it turned out that he was an entirely different person. I just….I just feel like such a failure at marriage.”

“You can’t blame yourself,” he said honestly. “AJ is just…well, nobody understands how AJ turned out the way he did. But you didn’t do that to him, Courtney. You…you’re good, and honest, and you tried hard to make things work with AJ. He’s the one who lost here, not you.”

She gave him a small, grateful smile. “I just…I don’t know. I guess I just feel like I’m lacking direction. When I left that apartment behind…I didn’t know what was going to happen next, and it was scary. I feel like I’m falling in free flight, and I can’t stop.”

“Courtney, look, I know this might sound awkward…but if you need a place to stay, I have plenty of room. Now that Brenda is leaving --”

“You didn’t know?” she interrupted him. “I can’t believe Sonny didn’t tell you! I moved in with him and Carly…yesterday.”

Chapter 3, “When the Lights Go Down”

His eyes widened with surprise. “You moved in? With Sonny and Carly? Yesterday?”

She nodded. “Sonny thought it would be the safest thing for me to do. Even though AJ is in jail and I have a restraining order against Coleman, staying in the apartment just didn’t seem like a good idea.”

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket and looked away from her, exhaling into the cold night air. She couldn’t tell, but her announcement had knocked the wind right out of him. How was he going to be able to sleep at night, knowing she was across the hall? How would he concentrate on anything else? Was Sonny trying to torture him?

“Hey…you’re quiet all of a sudden,” she said softly as she laid a hand on his arm. “You don’t think I should have moved into the penthouse?”

Her touch caught him off-guard, even through the thick barrier of his jacket. He moved slightly away from her and hoped she didn’t notice his level of discomfort.

“No…it’s not that. I think it’s…great,” he replied. “Sonny has guards everywhere. You’ll be protected there.”

She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself to stay warm. “Yeah…there are definitely enough people hanging around there all the time,” she agreed. “But, it’s going to give me an opportunity to get to know Sonny better…and Carly, and Michael.”

“You’re cold,” he said simply. He started to unbutton his jacket. “Here, take this…we should both get back now, anyway. We’ll get a cab, and I’ll go back to Kelly’s and get my bike later.”

She wanted to protest as he gently draped his jacket across her shoulders, but she knew that it would just turn into an argument that she wouldn’t win. Jason was stubborn, that much was for sure. Even if he was cold, he would put her needs in front of his own.

They walked back to the nearest street in silence, hailed a cab and then headed home. Once they got back to their building, it really hit him.

“Well…I guess we’re really neighbors now,” he said with a small laugh as the awkwardness suddenly enveloped them. They were standing between his door and Sonny’s, and he knew he would have to will his own feet to move in the right direction.

“Yeah…neighbors,” she echoed. “So, I guess…I guess I’ll be seeing you around. Probably…a lot.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know…I guess it all depends on what Sonny needs me for. By the way, I need to talk to Sonny. If you see him, could you send him over?”

“Yeah…I can do that. Is it urgent?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s nothing too important. Just…business-related.”

“Okay, I’m sure he’s here…I’ll tell him. Goodnight, Jason. Thanks for today, by the way.”

His blue eyes twinkled as he nodded at her. “It was no problem, really.” He unlocked his door and started to proceed inside, but then turned and looked back at her.

“Courtney?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t…don’t be a stranger, okay? I’m only a door away.”

She smiled. “I know.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He shut his door and then leaned against it, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples in frustration. He couldn’t take this, he really couldn’t. It was like a cruel joke, having her so close and yet so far away.

He hated seeing her the way she was today. He could see so many mixed emotions in her eyes…hurt, confusion, vulnerability, anger, regret…you name it, she felt it. She was trying to stay strong and make him believe that she didn’t need to lean on anyone, but he knew better.

It killed him that he couldn’t go to AJ and make him pay for his crimes. At least, not while AJ was in jail. But, there would come a day - and probably soon - when the Quartermaines would find a way to bail him out. And when AJ was a free man again, Jason planned on making him sorry…sorry that he’d ever even existed.

He walked over and picked up a cue stick, thinking that a game of pool would help to calm him down. But, it didn’t. Holding the fragile piece of wood in his hands, he couldn’t help but to wish he was wrapping them around AJ’s throat. Before he knew what he was doing, the stick cracked in half from the increased pressure.

“Damn it!!” He looked down at the splintered pieces in his hand and then heaved them across the room…just in time for Sonny to walk in and witness the entire incident.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So, Jason needed to see Sonny, huh? When did you run into Jason today?”

Carly was standing in the doorway of Courtney’s bedroom, watching as she finished unpacking her suitcases.

“He came by Kelly’s today while I was working,” Courtney answered distractedly. “By the way, have you seen Rosie? I need to feed her and let her out.”

“Your dog is with Michael, in his room. He can’t get enough of her.” Carly walked in and perched on the edge of the bed, glass of water in hand. “So, I take it that you told Jason you’re living here now?”

Courtney turned away from her and started hanging things in the closet. She definitely didn’t want to talk about Jason right now.

“Yeah, I told him.”

“And? How’d he take the news?”

“What do you mean, how did he take it?” Courtney still had her back to Carly, who noticed that her shoulders had suddenly stiffened.

Carly shrugged innocently. “Oh, I don’t know….I guess I just meant, what did he think? You two really hit it off when he was guarding you, right? I know you became pretty close --”

“Look, I know where this is going,” Courtney interrupted as she slammed the closet door. “We had this same discussion…what…three weeks ago? Four weeks ago? I told you then, and I’m telling you now…Jason and I are JUST friends.”

“Ok…ok,” Carly said defensively as she got up. “I’m just saying…Jason’s always there for you. He’s strong, and supportive, and handsome…and not to mention, he’s honest. I wouldn’t blame you if it turned into something more.”

Courtney sighed. “Carly…look, I appreciate you looking out for me, or whatever it is you’re trying to do. But in all honesty, I’m going through one of the hardest times of my life. I’m going through a divorce! Romance is…it’s the last thing on my mind.”

“Alright…then I’m sorry,” Carly offered. “I know how hard it must be for you to deal with what happened. And just to let you know, as far as AJ is concerned, I’ve been there before. I know what you’re going through. If you ever need someone to talk to, and Sonny isn’t around…you can come to me, okay? I want you to be comfortable staying here.”

She sauntered out of the room and looked back as Courtney shut the door after her.

“Geez…denial isn’t just a river in Egypt,” she said under her breath. “She’s got it so bad for him. And something definitely went down between them today…after all, I’m sure Jason didn’t just go to Kelly’s for the great coffee.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Back at Jason’s…)

“Whoa!” Sonny exclaimed as he ducked and pushed the door shut behind him. “Target practice?”

Jason glared at him and turned away with his hands on his hips. “Bad game of pool,” he muttered.

Sonny shook his head. “No…no, I don’t think that’s all it is. Courtney said that you needed to see me. What’s going on?”

Jason rubbed his forehead and thought fast. How was he going to get himself out of this one without looking incredibly obvious?

“Nothing…nothing is going on,” he explained as he turned to face Sonny. “I just wanted to talk to you. Actually, it’s about Courtney.”

A look of concern crossed Sonny’s face as he took a seat on the couch. “What is it? Was there some kind of development with her maniacal soon-to-be ex-husband? Because if he’s getting busted out, he’s wasting whatever time he has left. I’d have him killed before I’d let him walk the streets.”

“No…it’s not about AJ. He’s still behind bars, right where he should be,” Jason said quietly as he focused his attention on sharpening another cue stick on a piece of chalk. “I just found out from Courtney today that she’s living with you now, that’s all. I was just wondering when you were planning on filling me in.”

Sonny raised his eyebrows as he turned to face Jason. “You sound like you have a problem with that. DO you have a problem with that? Actually, no, no…wait. WHY would you have a problem with that?”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t say I have a problem with it. I just wondered why I wasn’t informed.”

“Well, I was actually planning on informing you tonight. But what’s the difference? Now you know. Courtney moved in yesterday. End of story.”

“No…it’s not the end of the story,” Jason replied slowly, shaking his head. “From what Courtney told me today, you wanted her to live there for security reasons.”

“Well, did you think I was going to let her stay where she was?” Sonny was getting angry. “Of course I want her staying with me for security reasons. The safest place that she can be is next door. Somebody will always be there with her. I got…I got guards posted all over the place.”

“Yeah, of course you do. You’ve always got a guard on her,” Jason shot back. “Well, just so you know, I don’t plan on guarding Courtney anymore.”

Sonny’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I won’t be guarding Courtney any more, for any reason. AJ and Coleman are no longer a threat, and frankly, I have other things to do.”

“Whoa…I thought you and Courtney were friends. Did something happen that I need to be made aware of? Because if there’s a problem--”

“No, there’s no problem. I just…I just feel like she doesn’t need a babysitter anymore.”

“Oh, so is that what you thought you were to her? A babysitter?” Sonny was starting to get suspicious. Jason wasn’t acting like himself. It was very rare of him to show a lot of emotion about anything, but he seemed pretty adamant about this.

Jason shook his head. “Look, I knew my duty when I was with her. I’m not saying that I was her babysitter, but you and I both know that I was also there partly for companionship. And, now that she’s next door, she’ll have you, Carly, Michael, the other guards…” He trailed off, looking distant. God, he hoped Sonny was buying this.

Sonny started pacing, and was silent for a few moments. Finally, he turned and looked Jason in the eyes.

“Alright, then…I won’t assign you to guard Courtney anymore unless I think she’s in serious danger. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No,” he said vehemently. “If Courtney is ever in serious danger, you come to me, because you know I’ll make sure that nothing ever happens to her.”

“But I can’t expect you to be seen with her in the meantime?” Sonny asked. “I, uh…can’t expect you to be dropping by the penthouse anytime soon?”

Jason sighed. “Look, Courtney and I ARE friends, alright? If she ever needs someone to talk to, or just to be with, she can count on me.”

Sonny was confused. “But I thought you just said…”

“I meant what I said. I’ll be Courtney’s friend, but I won’t be her guard.”

“Fine…I get the picture,” Sonny said as he got up to leave. “I won’t ask you to look out for Courtney. She shouldn’t need a constant guard anymore, anyway. And besides, I guess I get to go tell Carly how wrong she was.”

Jason quickly looked up. “Wrong about what?”

“Never mind.” Sonny waved his hand as he turned to shut the door behind him. “I can see now that it was all in her head.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sonny walked in the door and saw Carly sitting on the couch, flipping through some magazines.

“Hey…is Courtney around?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“Actually, I think she took her dog out.” Carly scooted over to make room for her husband. “Why?”

He didn’t answer her.

“Sonny…what did Jason want? Is something wrong?”

Sonny shook his head and shrugged. “I don’t know. I go over there, Jason’s all bent out of shape, and the next thing I know, he’s ranting and raving about how he’s not going to protect Courtney anymore.”

Carly closed her magazine and perked up, suddenly very interested. “What do you mean, he’s not going to guard her anymore? Of course he isn’t! AJ is in jail. What need would Courtney have for a bodyguard?”

“I…don’t know,” Sonny said as he sank back into the couch and rested his head on a pillow. “I guess maybe he thought that I’d still want him watching Courtney’s back…just in case, you know. But something must have happened between them, because he doesn’t want to seem to be around her.”

“What? Honey, that’s ridiculous. I think you misinterpreted what Jason meant.”

“No, I didn’t,” Sonny interjected. “He said he considers her to be a friend, but…oh, never mind, let’s go upstairs and talk. I need to get some rest.”

Carly turned out the lights and followed him up the steps just as Courtney was coming back in the door. Neither one of them heard it open, or realized that she could hear everything they were saying.

“So, go ahead and finish your sentence,” Carly prompted. “Why doesn’t Jason want to spend time with Courtney?”

“He said something about feeling like her babysitter…like he was only there because she needed a companion.”

Chapter 4, “When the Lights Go Down, Part II”

Courtney stopped dead in her tracks when she heard Sonny’s words.

“He was feeling like a babysitter…he was only there because she needed a companion.”

Her face fell, with no witnesses to see in the darkened living room, and she felt a sudden tightening in her chest. Heartache. Again.

“No…it can’t be true,” she whispered as she shook her head to keep the tears at bay. “Jason…not Jason…he would never say such a thing.”

She couldn’t be there. There was no oxygen in the room at all. She needed to breathe. So she ran…out the door and past the guards, to the elevator, where she punched the buttons furiously. It wouldn’t get there fast enough…it could never get there fast enough. She headed for the stairs. She had to get out. She had to get away from here and away from him…away from everyone.

She didn’t know where she was going, but she kept going anyway. That first rush of cold air when she hit the ground level and made it outside was like water to a drowning person. Funny, how it hadn’t felt that cold when she was out here a few minutes ago. But it was cold now…cold, and lonely, and exhilarating.

The night was hers to do whatever she wanted with. The streets were quiet, like she was the only person in Port Charles. She could hear her footsteps pounding on the pavement, like there was someone running after her. Paranoia. She turned…there was no one there.

“Get a grip,” she lectured herself. “AJ is in jail…he can’t hurt you anymore…nobody can hurt you anymore, not if you don’t let them.”

And then it dawned on her…she had nowhere else to go, and AJ was in jail. She’d sworn that she wouldn’t go back there again, but that was before she didn’t have any other choice.

Feeling like a babysitter

She started running, going faster and faster, not even stopping to look at her surroundings. She knew the way by heart.

She needed a companion

It was a long way from the penthouse. Hell, it was a couple of miles, at least. But she didn’t notice, and she didn’t stop. Head down, she kept going. If she stopped to think, or to rationalize, she knew she would turn back, so she kept on.

A light drizzle had started to fall, and she cursed the sky and the irony of the situation, thinking of the last time she was out in the rain. Her lips started to burn; his kiss had branded her.

“Go away.” She was talking to his memory. But she kept seeing him, and that same vulnerable and confused look in his eyes.

“Go AWAY!” She was louder this time. But he was still there, mocking her…daring her to kiss him. She couldn’t take it if anything happened to him because of her. They were both caught up in the moment.

“GO AWAY! I SAID TO GO AWAY!!”

The rain started to fall harder now, and so did her tears. But she had to stay strong; she couldn’t turn around. She was so close now…so close. The building was in view. She could almost reach out and touch it.

She finally made it to the door, and opted to take the stairs again. And when she got to the apartment, her shaking hands fumbled with the doorknob. But it wasn’t locked…no, of course it wasn’t. Nobody lived here now.

She ran into the bedroom and tore at the covers on the bed, throwing them to the ground. Everything went…the pillows, the sheets, even her favorite quilt. And when she was done, she lay down to have a good cry, but no tears would come.

When the lights go down
At the end of the day when this game that I play
has gone another round
As I lay there alone on this big empty bed
with nothing but thoughts of you in my head
I think of things I wish I had said
When you were still around

When the lights go down
And there’s nothing left to be
When the lights go down
And the truth is all you see
And I wonder if all my life’s about the sum
Of all my fears and all my doubts
When the lights go down

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He couldn’t sleep. He’d been pacing his penthouse all night, with the most unfamiliar burning inside of his chest. Heartache. Again.

He’d been down this road so many times before, you’d think it would have been familiar to him, but it wasn’t. This time, it was an entirely different feeling…different than with Robin, or Carly, or even with Liz.

She had gotten to him. When and how…well, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it had been the very first time he’d laid eyes on her. He’d given up his scrambled eggs to save a beautiful waitress from the wrath of an angry customer, and then he had to find out that the beautiful waitress was the wife of his brother - and biggest enemy.

He wiped his hands over his tired eyes as he walked back downstairs. As he passed the door to the balcony, he finally noticed the storm, and thought about the irony of the situation. Was the rain going to affect him like this every time now? He had always been strong when it came to the opposite sex. But suddenly, he felt very weak.

He wondered if he had succeeded at all in fooling Sonny earlier that night. He was pretty sure that he had, because Sonny rarely ever got angry with him, and Sonny was definitely angry when he left. But, he had to do it. He couldn’t let him suspect that he had any kind of feelings toward Courtney other than those of friendship. They might have been best friends, but he would never let Jason drag his sister into their business. It was just too dangerous.

His mind was swimming with a million thoughts, wondering if the truth was ever going to come out. Truth? What truth? He knew that she had feelings for him, too…he could see it every time he looked into her eyes. He felt in her kiss that night several weeks ago, and in every look and every touch since that time. It’s hidden meaning lurked behind every word that she spoke to him today. She didn’t see him as just a friend….but, did she also realize that Sonny would never allow anything to become of those feelings?

He suddenly felt like an idiot. Here she was, in the midst of a painful divorce…even if she did have feelings for him, she wouldn’t jump headfirst into any relationship. She would be cautious now, and afraid to let anybody gain her trust.

He sat down at the bottom of the stairs and wondered what she was doing right now. Somehow, he doubted that she slept very well over at Sonny’s penthouse; she was probably curled up in bed with a good book, with Rosie at her side.

He halfway smiled at the image that thought provoked in his mind. She was such a simple person; she wasn’t impressed by material possessions, and she didn’t have to be in the middle of a dramatic situation in order to be having a good time. She liked to clean, and walk her dog, and spend quality time with people she cared about. Those characteristics may bore some people, but surprisingly, Jason found himself wanting to share all of those things with her. She had a way of making him open up. They had some kind of unexplainable connection that just pulled them together.

He was thinking about that connection when he suddenly got a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. In that instant, he knew that something wasn’t right. Call it intuition or whatever you want, but his conscience was telling him that Courtney was in trouble.

He ran back upstairs and threw a shirt over his head, put on his boots, grabbed his keys and flew out the door. He didn’t even stop at Sonny’s; he knew she wouldn’t be there. Something was telling him to leave the building.

He ordered one of Sonny’s drivers to take him to Kelly’s. He knew that there would be questions asked later; Sonny would most definitely hear about it and wonder why he’d taken off in the middle of the night. But, when he made it to Kelly’s, he jumped on his soaking wet bike and took off across town.

He didn’t even know what prompted him to go this way. He just had a gut feeling, and his gut feelings were usually right on the mark.

The streets were empty and silent, with the exception of the sound of the bike’s motor and the rain pounding the pavement. He ran all of the red lights…he couldn’t get there fast enough.

He was so close now…so close. The building was in view…he could almost reach out and touch it. He looked up at her old apartment; the shades were drawn and all was dark.

When the lights go down
And there’s nothing left to be
When the lights go down
And the truth is all you see
And you feel that hole inside your soul
You wonder what you’re made of
Well, we all find out
When the lights go down