Title: Guns and Roses

Author: Courtney (along with Janine and Amy)

Feedback: court0109@hotmail.com or AIM: FlyingFreestyler

Rating: R (Some NC-17)

Category: Work In Progress

Type: Romance, Angst

Summary: A rewrite and continuation from the Haunted Star Opening. This one is for all the Journey fans wanting a Journey reunion and Brian out of the picture. Courtney realizes she made a mistake leaving Jason, but will she be able to go home?

Chapter One: Empty Reasons

Courtney sat silently watching the small waves of water lap gently on the small sandy shore just below the docks in a trance. The air was frigid and harsh so much that it froze her tears to her cheeks as they flowed down her face. The break-up was getting harder and harder to cope with. Now she couldn’t even remember why she had left in the first place. She was so lost nowadays that she had no idea what she was doing from one minute to the next. She felt nothing but pain. No love, no happiness, not even hope.

Jason was everything to her and she knew it, she could feel it. So why was she here sitting alone on this dock in the freezing cold crying her heart out when she could be home, warm and safe in the strong arms of the man who she loved with everything she had and who returned the feeling. She dreamt of him every second of the day and while his face was a beautiful memory etched in her mind it only seemed to convey more sadness and pain.

She was suddenly brought from her thoughts by a heavy hand falling on her shoulder.

“Courtney, you shouldn’t be out here alone,” the man said.

“I know, Brian, I just needed to get out and think,” she said looking up at her knew found friend. She had met him in Hayes Landing and he happened to land a job with the PCPD recently, bringing him to Port Charles. She had been very apprehensive about his move at first and how Jason would react but ever since the break-up they were growing closer.

“Why are you out here this late at night, not to mention how cold it is,” he inquired.

“I just needed to think, like I said,” she said harshly.

“About Jason? Courtney, you can’t handle his life, you did the right thing by leaving,” he said.

“Brian! You are in no position to tell me what I do right and what I do wrong! You don’t know Jason. He was not a bad man, he loved me and I love him still but I can’t be apart of his life because…” she yelled.

“Because why? Because he’s dangerous? How is importing coffee dangerous, Courtney?” he asked fully aware of Jason’s real line of work, however, he needed to get to her and get some way to convict Jason and Sonny so that he and Ric could destroy them.

“It’s not dangerous, he’s not dangerous. I just can’t because I can’t alright? Besides you have no right to question me like this,” she screamed. At times she couldn’t stand having Brian around because he always seemed to get too nosey.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I was way out of line,” he said apologetically.

“Yes, you were, now please leave me alone,” she asked letting out a heavy sigh as her head fell in to her hands.

“Okay, I will, but first, I know this may be a really bad time, but the Haunted Star opening is tomorrow night, I just wanted to know if you’d care to join me? Just a friend escorting a friend that’s all,” he said trying to come up with a way to make her say yes. He had to work her for as much information as he could and getting her out and about and having a good time was the way to it.

“Fine, whatever, I’ll go, couldn’t hurt right?” she agreed on impulse.

“Great, I’ll pick you up at 8?” he asked.

“Sounds fine,” she said solemnly.

With that Brian left Courtney to herself again. Her eyes swelled up with tears at the realization that she had just accepted a date with a man that she knew Jason hated. It wasn’t in spite. She just felt the need to try something that would help her let him go. Besides Jason never even needed to know, he was out of town. Even with the knowledge of him being out of town, something deep within her had a bad feeling about this date.

Chapter Two: Misled Innocence

The door to penthouse 4 in Harborview Towers opened slowly revealing the visitor.

“Jase! Oh, we’re so glad you’re home!” Carly said running to her best friend pulling him in to an embrace.

“How was your Christmas?” she asked him.

“Oh, you know, I-I skipped it,” he said flatly.

Carly’s heart crushed for Jason. She knew his and Courtney’s separation was killing him, so much so that he spent Christmas away from his family for fear of seeing her.

“Casino’s had a great Christmas,” Jason said handing his reports to Sonny.

“Thanks, man, I appreciate you taking care of that for me,” Sonny replied walking to the kitchen to set the files down.

“Jase, you look so handsome!” Carly commented looking him over. He wore black as he often did but his shirt was more formal as were his pants and shoes. A nice change from the typical black tee shirt, black jeans, and black biker boots she was accustomed to seeing him in.

“Don’t start, Carly,” he begged, releasing a heavy sigh he didn’t know he was holding.

“Start what? Is it a crime to say you look nice?” she asked testily.

“No, normally it wouldn’t be, but I know why you’re saying it Carly, you just need-you just need to understand that Courtney and I aren’t together anymore, ok?” he snapped. In truth, he was dying inside every time he thought about their separation and it only made it worse when he had to say it aloud.

“Well you know that, Jason, I think you and Courtney are making a huge mistake! Neither of you want this, you two love each other and you need to be together! You won’t be happy until you get back together, you know it and she knows it, so fight for her Jason!” Carly urged.

“Carly…” Sonny said re-emerging from the kitchen.

“WHAT?” she yelled.

“Carly, Courtney doesn’t want me to fight for her, she made that pretty clear when she left,” Jason said softly, not having the energy to fight, “So we’re getting a divorce, and that’s that.

“Is that what you want? Did she decide for you?” she argued.

“Carly…just-Jason just got back, please just let him have some peace,” Sonny pleaded forcefully, needing her to stop arguing for both his and Jason’s sakes.

“Fine, you know what Jason, I know you and Courtney well enough to know that neither one of you really wants this, but you just keep telling yourselves it’s the right thing to do, well you know-I just-I sure as hell hope it is all worth it in the end if you do this,” Carly shouted sternly once more before dropping the subject. Jason mouthed a “thank you” to Sonny as they made their way out of the penthouse and to the Haunted Star opening.

She made her way down from her room above Kelly’s in a long black dress with diamond shaped holes half way down the front and back of her dress, showing just a bit of skin, and a pair of black stilettos with tiny diamonds across the strap over her toes. Her hair was down and slightly flared and her make-up was light and flawless as it always was.

Her date stood, watching her descent in amazement at her beauty. In his mind, Brian knew his relationship with Courtney was supposed to be mere business. He had to get on her good side to get the information he and Ric needed to condemn Jason and Sonny. Her pain as easy to play on but the closer he got to Courtney the more he felt he had true feelings for her. He shook his head to bring himself from his current state.

“Wow! You-you look beautiful,” he proclaimed as she stepped from the last step.

“Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself,” she smiled sheepishly. She knew she had to smile and act happy so that she didn’t hurt his feelings but inside she was screaming. Her heart wrenched each time she was forced to compliment him in some way.

They made their way to the double doors of Kelly’s, only stopping to grab her coat.

“Here, let me help you with that,” Brian suggested as he helped her put on her overcoat. She flinched as she felt his hands resting a bit too long for comfort on her shoulders. She gently ducked from his grasp and smiled at him weakly. She knew her facial expression was giving her real emotions away, even though she tried her best to hide them. She looked away nonchalantly in an effort to distract his attention from her directly.

“Let’s go,” she said as she pulled him after her and off to the Haunted Star opening.

Chapter Three: Lost and Found

Courtney and Brian arrived quickly at the Haunted Star. They blended in amongst the crowd. Courtney used to this camouflage to her advantage, searching the crowd for Carly and Sonny. She let out a sigh of relief when she did not see them.

Her attention only shifted as she heard Skye Quartermaine welcoming the crowd to the opening. Skye gave her speech and told jokes to which the crowd laughed and applauded. She couldn’t have been more than half way in to her welcome with the ship jolted and the power went out.

The nervous crowd hustled and bustled in the darkness. Courtney could hear husbands calling out for wives and wives calling for husbands. She could hear the men soothing their women with soft words of protection and love, and with this she could not suppress her feelings of sadness or longing to have Jason holding her, whispering to her ear that it would all be okay and that he loved her and would protect. She stood in the darkness feeling cold and alone. Tears began pouring like waterfalls from her eyes as she sobbed quietly.

The lights flickered back to life and the crowd once again applauded. Courtney wiped her tears away quickly hoping no one would see her in such a distraught condition, especially not Brian, however, much to her surprise Brian was nowhere to be found.

She looked the crowd over once again still not seeing her date. She pushed her way through the ever-growing mass of occupants on the Haunted Star to the door in search of Brian.

Just as she was nearing the exit that lead to the ship deck she heard two very distinct voices conversing softly. She almost instantly recognized one of the voices as Ric Lansing. She slowly peaked around the corner to find both he and Brian whispering closely. She stood silently eavesdropping on their conversation.

“Do not let your attraction screw up your job. Courtney is nothing more than business. Keep her in the dark on your real motives. You need to get her talking about Jason’s work. Get anything out of her that will help us bring him and Sonny down,” Ric ordered forcefully.

“I’m working on that, but I can’t push, Ric, if I do she’ll know something is going on,” Brian said flatly.

“Just remember this, the faster we get Jason and Sonny out of the way, the faster you get to have Courtney for yourself,” Ric said as he quickly walked away through the other entrance of the Haunted Star.

Courtney quickly and quietly re-entered the casino and eased in with the crowd. She did not go unnoticed by Carly, however, who had just arrived with Sonny and Jason.

“Courtney!” Carly called out waving a hand high in the air, signaling to her sister-in-law to join them.

Courtney smiled weakly at Carly and Sonny as she tried once again to disappear in to the mass of people, in a ditch effort to avoid a family interrogation.

Carly recognized Courtney’s retreat and quickly excused herself from the company of her husband. She looked to her left in Jason’s direction. She saw the look of anger and sadness consuming his face as he watched Courtney roam about unaware of his presence. Carly stormed over to Courtney, immediately engaging in an angry speech.

“Well, it’s nice to see you here, too, Courtney,” she said angrily.

“Hi, Carly,” Courtney said softly looking down at the blackjack table.

“You think I don’t know you’re avoiding me?” she asked knowingly, “Who are you here with?”

Courtney said nothing, which only conveyed the answer to Carly loud and clear.

“Oh…I get it. You’re here with that cop! The one that shot my husband,” she yelled.

“Carly-Carly please, not here, not now please,” Courtney begged.

“No! Courtney, I don’t believe you! You’ve already moved on to another man. I thought you really loved Jason,” she yelled furiously.

“I do-I do love Jason, Carly, with all my heart,” Courtney answered truthfully feeling tears stinging her big blue eyes that were swimming with pain.

Carly scoffed in anger as her face began boiling with red, “How dare you say that! If you even loved Jason half as much as you say you do, you’d rethink this whole divorce decision! You’re making a huge mistake, Courtney,” she screamed.

“Carly…” Courtney began, but was sharply cut off by a livid Carly.

“No! I’m not finished yet! See Courtney you’re not even thinking clearly anymore. Sure Jason let Sonny go to kill Alcazar, but that’s Jason’s job! Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do but Jason’s a human, too, he’s allowed to make mistakes, Courtney! You say you don’t want to judge him but you are! Just by blaming him for a mistake he made. I don’t blame him, so you sure as hell shouldn’t. I bet you don’t even remember why you left, do you?” she demanded loudly. By now everyone’s attention in the crowd was now focused on the two women arguing.

“I do-Carly, I left because I can’t handle Jason’s lifestyle. I thought I could but I can’t, I love Jason, but I can’t be with a man who does what Jason does,” Courtney said more to herself than to Carly.

“Are you hearing yourself?” Carly screamed, “Why is Jason’s lifestyle such a problem now, Courtney? I mean why didn’t you leave him when you saw him kidnap Faith, huh? Or how about the time you saw Jason holding Ric hostage in the panic room? Or how about the time he shot the fake DEA? Those were much bigger deals than this, so why didn’t you leave him then? Why now?” she asked lowering her voice considerably to an angry whisper, so as not to make a public display of Jason and Sonny’s work.

“I don’t-I don’t know, Carly,” she choked on her steady falling tears, in her heart she knew Carly was right, she just hadn’t realized how right she was until this moment.

“That’s what I thought, you know you’re making a mistake, Courtney. You love Jason, Jason loves you, there is no reason on this earth why you can’t be together and have a family of your own! If I can have a life with Sonny you can have one with Jason. It’s hard sometimes, true, but if I can handle, I know you can, and you know it, too. Courtney, you’re strong, you fight for what you want, but this, this giving up on your life and your love, that’s not like you. A divorce is not what you both want. Things are hard right now but you two being apart is killing you both, anyone could tell just by looking at you! So I’m asking you, as your sister-in-law and best friend, if you truly love Jason for who he is, please rethink this and come home,” Carly pleaded softly feeling her anger begin to subside.

“I want to come home, I just can’t live with the fear and danger anymore Carly. I’m scared all the time now, that one day I’m going to lose Jason. So I just figure I’ll avoid the pain by leaving him,” Courtney sobbed.

“Courtney, listen to me, you’re not thinking about this. Whether you’re with Jason or not, you’re Sonny’s sister, so you’ll always be subject to the danger. That’s what you got when you found out you were related to Sonny and the two of you got close. You’re apart of this family, which means you’re also apart of the danger, and yes there is always the risk of Jason being killed. There’s always the risk of Sonny being killed, and no, I don’t like it but I’m not going to leave Sonny for fear of hurting if he gets killed. If Sonny dies, a large part of me will die with him, Courtney, but I’d rather spend everyday of my life with that man, however long that life may be, because if I ran from him and his life and he died, I’d spend the rest of my life regretting wasting all that time apart when we could have been happy together,” Carly whispered feeling tears well up in to her own eyes.

Courtney felt her knees giving way as Carly finished. Her heart felt as if it had shattered in to a million pieces. She knew Carly was right and she knew she needed to go home. She leaned over on the table to support her body as her tears blinded her.

“You’re righ…”Courtney began through her hot tears before being interrupted.

“I’m sorry but you have no right to tell Courtney what to do,” the man said to Carly as he approached the two woman from behind Courtney.

“And you don’t have the right to talk to me, so shut the hell up!” Carly yelled at the man, “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave Courtney alone. Because it’s sure going to feel bad when Courtney goes home to Jason! They belong together and nothing will ever change that,” Carly snapped.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Courtney is a free woman, Mrs. Corinthos,” Brian smirked.

“Hm, well last time I checked, Sheriff Beck, Courtney was that man’s wife,” she yelled slinging her finger towards Jason pointing him out. Courtney followed Carly’s finger and saw Jason standing against the wall holding a beer and watching her every move. Part of her was so happy that he was watching over her but pain won out as tears once again flooded her face. Their gaze was long and intense, filled with love and pain, sadness and remembered happiness, want and need. It sent a wave of emotions through Courtney’s body. She felt as though she would break down right there so to avoid public embarrassment she fled the casino. She covered her mouth to avoid screaming out her pain as she stepped on to the docks. She pulled out her cell phone and began to dial Carly’s cell phone as she quickly walked back towards her room above Kelly’s, unaware that she was being followed.

The two men came from separate directions, but both sought out the same woman. They kept enough distance between themselves and Courtney so as to go unnoticed. They lurked among the shadows yet still kept a full view of her.

Carly’s cell phone rang and rang before it finally picked up. “Oh, thank God, Carly, I need to tell you something very important and I need you to swear you won’t tell Sonny or Jason,” Courtney demanded in to the phone.

“Go ahead, sweetheart, I promise,” Carly swore.

“Okay, well earlier tonight before you, Sonny, and Jason got there I overheard Brian and Ric talking. Ric said that Brian needed to focus on working me for information. Apparently Brian’s been using me this entire time to help him and Ric find a way to put Sonny and Jason away. God, Carly I feel like such an idiot, I’ve been so blind to this the whole time, I can’t believe I didn’t see this, even after Jason told me to be careful about him,” Courtney said sighing heavily, running her fingers through her hair.

“Oh, God, Courtney you didn’t say anything incriminating did you?” Carly asked, hoping her answer would be no.

“No, no I didn’t, I’m just telling you this because we need to stop this before something happens. I’m going to confront Brian about this, but I’m going to need you to get me, so that I can get out of there just incase he tries anything terrible, please Carly, I know it’s risky and it’s asking a lot but this is the only way to stop this so I can come home to Jason and the family,” Courtney pleaded.

“Alright, Courtney, listen to me, I want you to meet him at Kelly’s, in a well lit area, so that you can see his every move. I’m on my way, but don’t let him know that you know what he’s doing until you see me pull up, ok? If he tries to get to you before I get there you run, fight, I don’t care just don’t let him hurt you, understand?” Carly instructed forcefully. Inside was a nervous wreck as she thought of the task at hand.

“Okay, Carly, I promise I’ll be careful. Just hurry please,” she said as she hung up her cell phone, letting it slip lazily in to her handbag. As she reached for the door to Kelly’s she felt a strong hand tightly grip her arms slinging her around.

She gasped in fear but then immediately forced a smile to her face, “Brian…”