Title: The Hardest Thing
Author: Jaimie
Feedback: JaimieLH@aol.com
Rating: PG13-NC17
Category: Long, WIP
Type: Romance
Summary: An alternate reality story. Courtney and
Jason were high school sweethearts who went their
separate ways after graduation. Will years apart,
marriage, and a child keep them from realizing what
they had was real?
Prologue
 
 
~2003~
Courtney Ryan sat quietly as they lowered the casket
into the ground, tears silently falling down her
cheeks. Her two year old son, Dylan, clung to her
neck. Everything that was happening was so confusing
and scary for him. She never imagined that she would
be burying her husband at 24 years old. Her husband
Zachary had been killed in a car crash just two days
ago and it all hadn’t really sank in yet. Even as they
lowered his casket into the ground, she couldn’t
believe this was really happening. Her whole world had
fallen apart and she had no clue how to begin to
rebuild it. She looked over at Zack’s parents. This
devastated them. Zack was their only child and now he
was gone. She tightened her arms around Dylan thinking
about how she would feel if she lost him. She couldn’t
begin to imagine. She softly stroked his hair and
kissed his forehead.
“Mommy, why you cry? Where’s Daddy?” he whispered in
his sweet, innocent voice.
Courtney didn’t know what to say. She just gave him a
watery smile and hugged him tightly. When the ceremony
was over, everyone gathered at Courtney’s house. She
took Dylan straight to his room and put him to bed. He
had fallen asleep on the ride home. Once she had him
tucked in, she reluctantly made her way back to the
living room to receive her guests. Zack’s mother
pulled her into a tight embrace.
“He loved you and Dylan so much.” Sarah said through
tears.
“I know he did. We loved him too.”
“Where’s Dylan?”
“He fell asleep on the way home. I put him to bed.”
“He’s all we have left of Zachary now.”
Sarah sobbed into Courtney’s shoulder. Courtney just
held her and let her cry. She spent the next few hours
listening to her guest talk about how much they liked
Zack and how much they were going to miss him. She was
so relieved when the last guest left. She fell against
the door and sighed heavily. Every time she looked
around their home she expected Zack to come walking
towards her with his instant smile. She had loved him
so much. Courtney walked towards the mantle, looking
at a picture taken not even a month ago during
Christmas. They were so happy then. Zack had his arms
wrapped around her waist and she was holding a
grinning Dylan in her arms. They were all smiling at
the camera. Courtney’s gaze focused on Zack. He was so
handsome. She carried the picture over to the sofa
where she sat just staring at it. She clutched it to
her chest as she closed her eyes and remembered the
first time she met Zack.
 
 
Chapter One
 
 
~1998~
“Come on Court. I told Mark I’d bring someone for his
friend Zack.” Courtney’s roommate Megan begged. “It’ll
be fun.”
“I have a lot of studying to do Meg. I really don’t
have time.”
“Come on please. I won’t ask you to go out with us
again if you don’t like him I promise.” Courtney
rolled her eyes at Meg, still not caving. “Court, you
haven’t dated anyone since you got here, and you’ve
been here almost a year now. Are you waiting for
what’s his face, that old boyfriend of yours, to come
back for you? He’s not coming Courtney. I’m sorry if
that upsets you, but you have to move on. Come with
us.”
Courtney’s hands automatically went to the locket she
always wore. Her old boyfriend had given it to her for
her 17th birthday. She never took it off. It had a
picture of her and him inside with both of their
initials engraved on the back of the locket. She had
dated Jason Morgan for three years before his
graduation. They were so in love and the cutest
couple, everyone would say. Courtney was a year
younger than Jason. The year Jason graduated, things
started to get rough between them. They knew he had to
leave soon for college and they weren’t sure where
their relationship would go from there. Ultimately,
they decided to end the relationship. It broke
Courtney’s heart when he walked away from her to go to
NYU. The first few months were the hardest for her.
She missed Jason terribly. Part of her hoped every day
that Jason would come after her or call her but he
never did. After graduation she went away to go to
college at Florida State, and now more than ever she
was fairly certain she’d never hear from Jason again.
Meg was right. She needed to get out and have some fun
for once.
“Alright. I’ll go.” Courtney finally said.
“Really!?! That’s great! I’ll call Mark and tell him
everything is settled.”
They met Mark and Zack at one of the popular night
clubs in Tallahassee. The moment she was him she felt
an instant attraction to him. He was definitely
handsome. He had thick black hair, deep brown eyes,
olive skin, and the biggest dimples when he smiled.
 
 
“Hi Meg, Courtney. I’m glad you decided to come. This
is my roommate Zack.” Mark said.
Courtney smiled and extended her hand, “Hi, it’s nice
to meet you Zack.”
“Likewise. Mark’s description of you certainly didn’t
do you justice. You’re beautiful.”
“Thank you.” Courtney blushed terribly.
After that night, Courtney and Zack began to see each
other regularly. Courtney found out that he was
majoring in criminal justice because he wanted to be a
detective. Zack would always listen patiently to her
as she would talk about her home back in New Jersey
and how much she wanted to teach kids. Little by
little, Courtney began to let Zack into her heart. He
never replaced Jason, but she shut the door on that
part of her life and was ready to open another. Zack
even convinced her to go with him to Orlando to meet
his parents. She was very nervous at first, but they
welcomed her with open arms. A little over a year
later, Zack asked Courtney to marry him. She didn’t
say yes right away. She knew she still had two years
of college left and he still had a year left. She
wasn’t sure they were ready for that. After some
reassurance from Zack that everything would be
alright, she agreed to marry him. The ceremony was
very small with only fifty or so guests. Courtney’s
parents flew down for the ceremony. Her older brother
Sonny couldn’t get away from school, but he talked to
Zack on the phone and let him know that if he ever
hurt his baby sister that he’d have to answer to him.
Their honeymoon was just a weekend trip to Miami. Both
had to get back to their classes. Things were going
great in their marriage. Two months away from Zack’s
graduation, Courtney found out she was pregnant. They
had been married for almost a year. Courtney was 21
and Zack was 24.
~2000~
“Zack, there’s something I need to tell you.” Courtney
said as she changed for bed one night.
Zack looked up from the book he was reading, taking
off his glasses. He walked over to her and put his
arms around her. “What’s the matter?”
Courtney turned around to face him, “I’m pregnant
Zack.”
Zack stood there looking at her for a moment in
silence. Courtney’s heart fell, thinking he was
unhappy about the baby. Then suddenly a huge grin
spread across his face as he began to spin her around.
“We’re going to have a baby!” Zack giddily exclaimed.
Courtney held onto him laughing through her tears. She
was so afraid he was going to be upset about the baby.
Zack pulled away and looked at her for a moment. He
gently wiped her tears away. “Why are you crying?”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t be happy about it.”
“How could I not be? We’re going to have a baby. We
created a life with our love. I’m thrilled about this
baby.” Zack gently kissed her lips. “As long as it
looks like you. I want the baby to have your beautiful
blue eyes and your smile.”
“I want it to have your smile.” Courtney laughed.
Courtney was due to give birth at the end of November,
but she didn’t go into labor until the beginning of
December. On December 4th, they welcomed 8lb 5oz Jason
Dylan into the world. Both Courtney and Zack were
thrilled. Courtney’s parents flew down to see them, as
well as Sonny and his long time girlfriend Carly.
After Zack had graduated the May before, he
immediately went to work at the Tallahassee Police
Department. He was making good money and Courtney
continued to go to college. She happened to be on
Christmas break when Dylan was born, and by the time
school started again she would be able to go back. It
was difficult going to school and trying to keep her
little family in order, but she somehow managed. Not
three weeks after Dylan was born, Sonny announced his
engagement to Carly. Everyone later found out that
Carly was already five months pregnant. They planned
to marry in just two weeks. Courtney planned to fly
home for the wedding. Carly had asked Courtney to be
her Maid of Honor. When the time for Courtney to leave
finally came, she was very happy with the way she
looked. The day they were to leave, they receive a
phone call. Zack wasn’t able to go with her after all.
They got a huge break on a case he was working on, so
he had to stay. Courtney was so upset. She didn’t want
to walk back into her hometown without her husband.
She didn’t tell Zack, but the main reason was because
she was afraid of running into Jason. She hadn’t seen
him in five years. She wasn’t looking forward to
running into him. What she didn’t want to admit was
the fact that she still had strong feelings for him.
She was afraid that if she saw him again, it would
make those feelings stronger. Every time she thought
about Jason she felt overwhelmed with guilt. She knew
she had a wonderful husband and he loved her and she
did love Zack, but she knew that she would never love
him the way she loved Jason. That upset her more than
anything. Zack dropped her off at the airport, giving
both her and Dylan a goodbye kiss. During the flight,
Courtney got lost in her thoughts......
~1995~
Courtney and Jason walked through the large field
behind his house. They loved taking walks through the
field and looking at the stars.
“There’s no stars out tonight.” Courtney stared up at
the sky as they lay the blanket on the ground.
“The forecast calls for rain tonight.”
“So you’re telling me we might get caught in a rain
storm?”
“It’s a possibility.” Jason smiled mischievously.
“You did this on purpose didn’t you?”
Jason didn’t say anything, he just pulled her close
and kissed her. Courtney let herself get lost in his
sweet kisses. As their kisses became more passionate,
the clouds burst and the rain began to fall. They just
looked at each other and began to laugh. Their smiles
quickly faded as the passion that had been building
took over again. Their lips met again in a hungry
kiss. Courtney automatically opened her mouth to allow
Jason’s tongue access, as Jason’s hands began to
wander under her tank top. Just his warm touch sent
shivers down her spine. Courtney tugged at the bottom
of his T-shirt, finally removing it from his body. He
pulled away for a moment and just looked at her.
“Are you sure?” he asked breathlessly.
Courtney just nodded and removed her tank top. Jason
gasped at the sight of her sitting in front of him
topless. She was beautiful to behold. He pulled her to
him, reveling in the fell of her warm bare skin on
his. They didn’t waste any time. They rid themselves
of their jeans and undergarments and laid back on the
blanket together. Courtney felt like her body was on
fire. Everywhere Jason touched her seemed to burn red
hot. They continued to kiss as Jason positioned
himself at her entrance. He continued to kiss and
caress her while he quickly thrust into her. Courtney
cried out into his mouth. Jason remained still for a
moment, giving her time to adjust to him. When she
began to writhe under him, he began to move his hips.
They quickly found a rhythm together, meeting each
other thrust for thrust. Jason could feel his release
building. He began moving faster and faster as he felt
it approach. Courtney began to feel her orgasm
building as well. Her walls began to tighten around
him when her orgasm hit her hard. That’s all it took
for him to follow her over the edge. They lay there
afterwards just softly kissing each other. Jason began
to pull out of her but she wrapped her legs tightly
around him to hold him in place.
“No, stay here for a little longer. I don’t want you
to leave yet.” Courtney pleaded.
“Okay I won’t” Jason kissed her again and just held
onto her.
Courtney loved the feel of having him inside her. It
made her feel whole and complete.
“I love you Courtney.” Jason whispered.
Courtney looked up into his beautiful blue eyes for a
moment. She could see the love he felt reflected in
their depths. She ran her fingers through his wet,
light brown locks as the rain continued to fall on
them. “I love you too.” Courtney smiled up at him.
Chapter Two
 
 
~2000~
Courtney was brought from her thoughts when the
stewardess announce their approach. Courtney was happy
that Dylan slept most of the trip. She was afraid he
would cry the whole way there. She gathered Dylan’s
diaper bag, and her carryon and began to make her way
into the terminal. As soon as she walked out of the
corridor into the airport, she saw her brother Sonny
holding a big sign that read, “Hi, Courtney!” She had
to laugh at him. She sat Dylan’s carrier on the round
and gave him a big hug. Even though he was two years
older than her, they grew up very close. Sonny picked
her up and spun her around laughing.
“It’s so good to see you Sonny. I’m so happy for you
and Carly.” Courtney said smiling up at him.
“It’s good to see you too. You look great Court. You
can’t tell you just had a baby a little over a month
ago.”
“Thanks. Where’s Carly?”
“She’s at the seamstress getting fitted. She gave me
specific instructions to take you straight there go
get you fitted for your dress.”
Sonny carried her luggage for her while she carried
Dylan. Sonny told her he’d drop her bags at their
parents house while she got fitted. As soon as
Courtney walked into the dress shop, Carly immediately
embraced her in a tight hug.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” Carly leaned over Dylan’s
carrier. “Hey there cutie pie.” Dylan just stared up
at her. “Awe, he’s so adorable. He’s got Zack’s
dimples but he has your eyes. Where’s Zack? With
Sonny?”
“No, he couldn’t make it after all. Something came up
at work.”
“Oh, I’m sorry he couldn’t be here.” Carly began to
pose in her dress. “What do you think?”
Carly chose a strapless white A-line satin dress. The
bodice was inlaid with iridescent beads and sequence.
You could just begin to see a little pouch beginning
to form, but unless you were looking for it you
wouldn’t notice. “Oh Carly. You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. I’m so nervous. In just twenty four hours
I’ll be Mrs. Sonny Corinthos. Am I really ready for
this?”
“You and Sonny have been together for two years now.
You two will be parents in four short months. I think
you two are as ready as two people can be. You love
him don’t you?”
“I love him so much. When we first met in college, I
thought he was just this cocky player type. He kept
after me asking me out and I finally gave in. I
learned that he was really a sweet, caring guy. That
player image was just a front. I hope our marriage
will be as wonderful as yours. It’s so obvious how
much Zack loves you. He’d do anything for you. that’s
the kind of love you have for him right? Do you think
Sonny loves me that much?”
Courtney sat there for a moment in a trance. The only
person she had ever loved that much was Jason. Her
heart felt heavy with her guilt. She loved Zack, but
not as much as she knew he loved her.
“Do you have to think about it that much?!” Carly
panicked.
Courtney finally snapped out of her trance. “Oh, no.
I’m sorry Carly.. Sonny loves you very much. Don’t
ever question his feelings for you. I’ve never seen
him as happy as you make him. You’re right about Zack.
He’s a wonderful man and I love him very much.”
“Thank you for agreeing to be my Matron of Honor.”
“You’re welcome. Who are your other bridesmaids?”
“Only you. We knew it was going to be a small wedding
so we kept it to just a Matron of Honor and a Best
Man.”
“Who did Sonny pick for his Best Man?”
“Well, his friend Chris from college couldn’t make it,
so he asked...oh what was his name? He was friends
with him in high school. He said you two used to
date.”
 
 
Courtney’s face paled as she realized who she was
talking about. “Jason?” she managed to squeak out.
“Yes! Thank you. Jason agreed to be his Best Man.”
Carly noticed Courtney’s face fall. “Are you okay?”
“This can’t be happening to me. How could Sonny do
this to me?” Courtney cried.
“What did he do?” Carly asked confused.
“How could he ask Jason to be his Best Man? He knows
our history together.”
“Why? What happened?”
Courtney sighed heavily. “We dated for over three
years. We really loved each other, but his senior year
things got rough for us. We knew he would be leaving
for college soon and ultimately we broke up. We knew
it would be too difficult to try to keep a long
distance relationship. It broke my heart. I haven’t
seen him since the day he left for New York.”
“Oh, wow. I had no idea. I’m sorry Court.” Carly put a
comforting arm around her shoulder.
“It’s okay. You couldn’t have known. Sonny knew better
though.”
They made idle chit chat while the seamstress put the
finishing touches on Carly’s dress. Ten minutes later,
Carly emerged from the changing room clad in her comfy
jeans and an oversized Brown University sweatshirt.
“Ah, that’s much better. No more pins sticking me
everywhere.” Carly laughed. “I’ll watch Dylan while
you change into your dress.”
“Thanks.” Courtney said as she handed Dylan over to
Carly. “It’ll give you practice.”
Courtney disappeared into the changing room to change
into her dress. While she was changing, a young man in
his mid to early twenties walked into the shop. He was
very handsome. He had short light brown hair, the most
beautiful blue eyes Carly had ever seen, he had a well
defined body, and stood about 6’2”. She couldn’t help
but stare at him. When he smiled at the young girl at
the counter, she practically swooned. Carly had to
chuckle at the sight.
“Hi, I’m Jason Morgan. I believe I have a 2pm
appointment for a tux fitting for the Corinthos
Wedding.”
Carly couldn’t believe it. That was Jason!?! She could
definitely see why Courtney had dated him. She knew
Courtney would have a heart attack if she walked out
of the dressing room and saw him. While the young girl
went to get his tux, Carly introduced herself.
“Hi.” Carly said as Jason turned to look at her. “Did
you say your name is Jason Morgan?”
“Yes it is.” he smiled warmly at her.
“I’m Carly, the bride to be.”
“Oh! It’s nice to finally meet you. Sonny’s told me a
lot about you.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.” Carly laughed.
Jason laughed at her, “It’s a good thing. He said you
were the most beautiful, amazing woman he’s ever
known. He also said he loves you very much.”
“Awe, really? He can be so sweet sometimes.”
“This isn’t your baby is it?”
Carly looked down at Dylan who laid peacefully in her
arms. “Um, no. He belongs to my friend who’s changing
for her fitting.” Carly prayed he wouldn’t ask who and
Courtney wouldn’t walk out before Jason went into a
room to change for his fitting. Her hopes were dashed
when she heard Courtney coming out of the changing
room. She was looking down at the dress, not really
paying attention to anyone around her.
“Carly the dress is beautiful I don’t think they’ll
have to do much altering. Just a little needs to be
taken in at the waist and a little off the length.”
Courtney looked into the mirror and her eyes locked
with familiar blue ones. She felt her heart begin to
race. He was still beautiful. “Ja….Jason? What are you
doing here?”
Jason had a hard time finding his voice. Courtney
looked exactly the same. She was so beautiful. She
still had her long, shiny blonde hair, and her big
blue eyes still sparkled with life. “You look
wonderful Court. You haven’t changed a bit.”
She blushed bright red, “Thank you. You look good
too.”
Jason made his legs carry him across the room to where
she stood. He pulled her into a tight embrace,
breathing in her scent deeply. He had missed her so
much. He had wanted to come back to her after he left
for New York, but she had made it clear that him going
away to college was for the best and that was what she
wanted. Not him. It broke his heart, but he learned to
go on. Seeing her standing in front of him now just
brought all of those old feelings back to the surface.
He still loved her. “I’ve missed you.”
Courtney returned his embrace, holding him tight. She
closed her eyes and let herself get lost in his arms.
She couldn’t stop the tears that streamed down her
cheeks. Seeing him again had been harder than she
thought, “I missed you too.”
“Mrs. Ryan, we’re ready to begin now.” the seamstress
called out to her.
Courtney slowly pulled away from Jason, unable to meet
his gaze. He looked down at her left hand and saw a
diamond and a gold band. He felt as if he heart was
breaking again. It wasn’t until then that he realized
the baby Carly was holding was hers as well. Jason
held back the tears that burned in his eyes. He could
tell that this was difficult for her too. She couldn’t
even look him in the eyes. He slowly lifted her chin,
forcing her to look at him. The look in her eyes broke
his heart again. Her chin trembled and a single tear
streaked down her cheek. “He’s a very lucky man.”
Courtney gave him a watery smile. She took a deep
breath and quickly wiped her tears. She lifted her
dress and got on the platform so the seamstress could
begin her alterations. Jason turned back towards
Carly. She could see his pain in his eyes, even though
he tried to smile. He walked back over to her and took
Dylan from her. He was tiny even for a month old. He
looked up at him with Courtney’s big blue eyes. He had
black hair and dimples. He assumed he got those
features from his father. Dylan observed him for a
moment then grinned up at him. Jason had to laugh.
Courtney watched him with Dylan. He looked so natural
holding him.
“He’s beautiful Court. He has your eyes.”
“Thank you. He’s such a good baby.” Courtney gushed.
“What’s his name?”
Courtney paused for a moment before telling him. The
only people who knew she named him after Jason was her
parents and Sonny. Not even Carly knew. “Dylan. Jason
Dylan actually.”
Jason’s eyes met hers again. They didn’t need words to
communicate. Courtney smiled over at him. Jason
returned the smile, glad to know she still thought
about him and really cared about him. Dylan seemed to
really like Jason. He was constantly cooing at him and
smiling. Not ten minutes later, Dylan was asleep in
his arms. For a moment, Jason tried to imagine that
Dylan was his son. He had always thought he would be
Courtney’s husband and the father of her children. He
knew now that the dream would never come true. She was
happily married to someone else.
“Mr. Morgan, we need you to go ahead and change into
your tuxedo. Once we finish with Mrs. Ryan, we’ll
start with you.” the young girl from earlier said.
Jason reluctantly gave Dylan back to Carly then went
to change into his tux. As soon as he was out of the
room, Courtney covered her face in her hands and
cried. Carly gently laid Dylan in his carrier and
embraced her. Courtney cried into her shoulder. Her
tears quickly subsided.
“I feel so stupid for acting this way. I didn’t expect
to see him. It was just so overwhelming.” Courtney
said, taking a tissue the seamstress offered her.
“I’m so sorry. You guys must have really loved each
other. I could see the pain in his eyes too.”
“I know this is hard for him too. We loved each other
very much. I still love him to be honest.” Courtney
looked down ashamed. “I love Zack, but...” Courtney
wanted someone she could confide in but she felt so
guilty. “I feel so ashamed and guilty. Zack is a
wonderful man who loves me and Dylan very much. I love
him too, I just can’t love him the way I loved Jason.
Is that wrong of me?”
“Oh, Court. It doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re
human. It just seems to me that you settled for this
life with Zack instead of going for the life you truly
wanted. Zack is a good man, and I know you love him. I
just hope he’s what you truly want.”
They stopped talking when Jason emerged from he
changing room. Courtney felt her heart flutter at the
sight of him. He looked so incredibly sexy in that
tux. Carly whistled at him when he walked towards
them. He smiled and blushed slightly.
“You look very handsome.” Courtney quietly said.
“Thank you. You always look beautiful.” Jason said
holding her hand.
Carly stood there awkwardly for a moment, feeling like
she was invading on a private moment. Dylan began to
cry, giving Carly an excuse to walk away. She checked
his diaper and sure enough he needed changing.
“I’ll be back. He needs to be changed.” Carly said as
she grabbed his diaper bag and headed to the bathroom.
“So what have you been doing?” Courtney asked, trying
to keep the conversation light.
“I got my degree in architecture. I work for a large
firm there in Manhattan now.”
“Anyone special in your life?”
“There’s only one. She’s the only one that has been or
ever will be my special someone. Unfortunately she’s
taken.”
Courtney couldn’t help the smile that lit her face.
She knew she couldn’t possibly leave Zack, but part of
her wished she could. Her heart would always belong to
Jason.
“What about you?”
“Well, I’m still attending Florida State. I graduate
in a few months actually. I’ll be a kindergarten
teacher. I can’t wait.”
“Tell me about Zack.. Does he treat you right?”
“He’s a wonderful man Jason. He’s really sweet and
caring. he loves me and Dylan very much. He’s a
detective at the Tallahassee Police Department.”
“All I want is for you to be happy Court. That’s all I
ever wanted.”
“He’s a wonderful man. I do love him.”
“I would hope you wouldn’t be with someone you didn’t
love.”
Courtney was grateful when the seamstress told her she
was done. She quickly changed from her dress back into
her jeans and sweater. When she emerged, Jason was on
the platform getting his alterations. She gave him a
quick smile then went over to Dylan and Carly.
“Hello my sweet boy.” Courtney smiled down at Dylan as
she took him from Carly. Dylan smiled at her and waved
his little arms.
“Are you ready? I know your parents are anxious to see
you.”
“Yep, I’m all set. I need to feed Dylan too.” Courtney
turned to Jason and smiled. “I guess I’ll see you at
rehearsals tonight.”
“I’ll be there. Bye Court. It was nice to meet you
Carly.”
“It was nice meeting you too. See ya.” Carly yelled as
they walked out of the dress shop.
As soon as they got in Carly’s BMW, she started again
on the subject of Jason.
“I think that went very well considering the
circumstances.”
“I guess so. It’s just very awkward.” Courtney sighed.
“I can imagine. So, are you going to let Sonny have it
when we get to your parent’s house?”
“I’m definitely going to have a little chat with him.”
They rode in silence. the rest of the way to
Courtney’s parents place. As soon as they pulled up,
Courtney’s mother Janine took the baby and wouldn’t
give him up.
“Hi Mom.” Courtney smiled and kissed her cheek.
“Hi honey. It’s so good to see you. Sonny told us
about Zack. I’m sorry he couldn’t make it.”
“I am too. Where’s Dad?” Courtney asked.
“He’s out in the barn with the horses.”
“I should have known.” Courtney laughed. “Where’s
Sonny? I need to talk to him.”
“He’s inside. Why?”
“Did you know he asked Jason to be his best man?”
Janine’s eyes fell, “Yes, but we thought you’d be okay
with hit. It’s been almost five years and you’re happy
with Zack, right?”
Courtney just stared at her mother in shock. “Of
course I’m happy with Zack mother, but it’s still
painful for me when it comes to Jason.”
Courtney turned and made her way to the house, leaving
Janine and Carly standing by the car.
“I didn’t know she’d be this upset.”
“We just ran into Jason at the dress shop. I just
think she’s upset because she didn’t have any time to
prepare herself.”
“Oh, no. Is she okay?”
“I think they handled it pretty well. You could tell
how much it hurt for them to see each other. They
really loved each other didn’t they?”
“Yes they did. We always thought they’d get married,
but when he left for college they broke up. Jason
stopped coming by here altogether even when he was
home on break. I think it hurt him too much to be
here. Too many memories.”
“So you really liked him?”
“Oh yes.” Janine smiled. “He’s the sweetest boy you’d
ever meet. He’s like a son to us. Even with the age
difference, Sonny and Jason were really close too.”
“I figured they were since Sonny asked him to be his
best man.”
“They were close.” Janine frowned. “I hope everything
goes smoothly for the wedding.”
“She keeps saying Zack is a good man and she loves
him. She keeps repeating it as if she’s trying to
convince herself of that fact.”
“I’m sure she loves Zack Carly, maybe not as much as
she loved Jason, but I know she loves him.”
Janine began to make her way to the house, leaving
Carly alone with her thoughts.
“That’s not what I meant” she said to herself. She
knew that Courtney loved Zack, she just didn’t want
her to try to convince herself that she should just be
happy with what she has. She shouldn’t have to settle
for this life if it’s not what she really wants. She
wasn’t sure how this weekend was going to turn out,
but she hoped everything would turn out okay. She was
still in deep thought when she entered the house. She
could hear Courtney going off on Sonny.
“How could you do this to me Sonny?”
“Do what to you?”
“You know very well what I’m talking about.”
Sonny sighed heavily, “I’m assuming you’re referring
to Jason.”
“Who else would I be talking about?”
“I’m sorry Court. I honestly didn’t think you’d bet
that upset over it. It’s been almost five years.”
“You don’t think I know who long it’s been? I am the
one it happened to Sonny. It was my heart that was
broken not yours. Do you have any idea what it’s like
to watch your true love walk away from you? To know
that you may never see that person again and that they
will move on to other people? Can you imagine the hurt
I felt just thinking about Jason holding and loving
another like he loved me? It still hurts Sonny. It
hurts like hell.”
“Court, I know your break up with Jason was terrible
for you. I honestly thought you had gotten over him. I
mean you’re married and you have a son.”
“Yeah, what is my son’s name Sonny?”
“Dylan.”
“Dylan what? His name is JASON Dylan. I named my son
after him. How over him do you honestly think I am?”
“I’m sorry Courtney. I don’t know what else I can
say.”
Courtney sighed, “Nothing. There’s nothing else you
can say.”
Courtney turned to leave the room and ran into Carly.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked concerned.
“I honestly don’t know. I need to get out for a while.
Can you give Dylan his bottle for me?”
“Sure, don’t worry. Our rehearsal is at 6pm okay?”
“Okay. Thanks Carly.”
Courtney gave her a quick hug and made her way to the
stables. When she got there her father was inside
brushing one of their horses. She smiled and gave him
a warm hug.
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Hey sweetheart. It’s so good to see you. Where’s my
beautiful grandson?” Mike asked.
“He’s inside. I was going to go for a ride.”
“Are you sure you remember how? It has been four years
you know.” he teased.
“You’re so funny Dad.”
“I know. Saddle up Chance and take him out for a
while.”
“Okay.”
Courtney began to saddle up the horse. Mike noticed
the sad expression on her face.
“Are you okay honey? Is something bothering you?”
“Oh, Dad. I saw Jason today. It was so hard on me.”
“Oh honey. I knew this would happen.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t find out myself until this morning or I
would have. You know I wouldn’t want to let you walk
into this situation completely unaware of what you
were walking into.”
“I’m just so mad at Sonny. He knew better Dad.”
“I know, but don’t be too hard on your brother. You
know he’d never intentionally hurt you.”
“I know he wouldn’t Dad. I just need to get some air
and to think. I’ll see you in a while okay?”
“Be careful and have fun.”
“I will.”
Courtney turned Chance around and began down the
familiar paths from her childhood. She just let the
horse take her where he wanted, until she suddenly
realized exactly where she was headed.
Chapter Three
She was headed straight to the very same spot she
dreamed of being in with Jason when she was on the
plane. It was a very special spot for both of them. It
was where they made love for the first time. She
wondered if he ever thought about that night. She
slowed Chance down as they got closer to the meadow,
and she couldn’t believe what she saw. Jason was
sitting in their spot, just staring out over the field
while his horse grazed just a few feet away. The sight
brought tears to her eyes. She now knew that this was
his special place too. She didn’t know how long she
stayed in the shadows watching him. She didn’t move
until he got up to leave, it was then she noticed
Jason wiping his eyes and wondered if it was tears he
was wiping away. She never imagined it would be this
hard to see him again. Courtney stayed in the shadows
and watched him ride way with an ache in her heart.
Once he was out of sight, she looked at her watch. It
was 4:30pm. She sighed and turned Chance around and
headed back to the house. When she got inside, she saw
Sonny in the kitchen holding Dylan. She smiled at the
sight.
“Hey.” Sonny said quietly.
“Hey.”
“Enjoy your ride?”
“Yes.”
They sat in silence for a moment before either spoke
again.
“Look Courtney, I’m really sorry that I didn’t tell
you about Jason. I realize now that even though I
thought you were over him that I still should have at
least told you he was going to be here.” Sonny
sincerely said.
“I know you wouldn’t purposely hurt me, but it did. It
hurt more than I though it would.”
Sonny gently laid Dylan in his carrier, careful not to
wake him. “I know. Carly told me about it. I feel
really bad about this Court, but there really was no
one else for me to ask. He was my friend too for a
long time.”
“I know he is, and you have every right to ask whoever
you want to stand beside you at your wedding. I’m
sorry I blew up at you.”
“Don’t apologize. I probably would have reacted the
same if you invited Alexis to your wedding knowing I
was going to be there.” Sonny laughed.
“No way! She was the worst mistake you ever made. I’m
so glad you finally found a good one.”
“Me too. Come ‘ere girl.” Sonny pulled her into a
tight hug. “I love you.”
“Love you too Sonny.”
“I’m the luckiest guy in the world you know.”
“Why is that?”
“Because tomorrow I am marrying the most wonderful
woman in the world who is honoring me by carrying my
child. I have the best Mom and Dad a guy could ask
for, and I have the most beautiful and wonderful
sister in the world.”
“Awe.” she kissed his cheek. “Thanks Sonny. I’m lucky
to have you too.”
Carly then walked in in her bathrobe having just taken
her shower.
“That’s so sweet. I’m glad you two made up.”
“I have admitted the error of my ways and got down on
my knees and begged forgiveness and she accepted my
apology.” Sonny sighed.
“Oh, he’s so dramatic.” Courtney laughed.
“That’s for sure.” Carly agreed.
“So both of you are picking on me, huh? I can see how
much I’m loved.” he pouted.
“Awe, poor baby. You know you whine more than Dylan.”
Courtney smiled.
“Hey, I resent that.”
“Oh, come on baby. You need to get ready to go to
rehearsals.” Carly said as she pulled him to the
bedroom.
Courtney took Dylan to her room to lay him down in his
crib while she got ready for rehearsals. She jumped in
the shower, making sure she had her baby monitor in
case Dylan woke.
Carly stood at the mirror in Sonny’s room trying to
decide what to do with her hair. His strong arms
encircled her waist as his large hands caressed her
developing stomach. “How’s our little one today?”
Carly smiled softly and leaned against his strong
chest, “She’s doing fine.”
“She huh? So we’re having a girl?”
“Well, it could be a boy I guess, but it’s a girl. I
know it is.”
“As long as she has your looks I’ll be happy....well,
maybe not. I’d hate to have to kill all the guys that
will be after her.”
“Getting overprotective already?”
“You gotta start sometime you know.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Sonny pulled her hair aside and began to plant heated
kisses along her neck, causing her to shiver.
“Sonny...what are you doing?”
“What does it feel like?”
“I know what it feels like. We have to leave in like
45 minutes.”
“All I need is twenty minutes, thirty tops.” he
continued his assault on her senses. “Come on baby.”
“Oh, Sonny.” she sighed.
She finally gave in and let him have his way with her.
She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck,
crushing her lips to his. The kiss immediately
deepened, their tongues tasting each other. Sonny’s
hands found the belt on her robe, quickly opening it,
anxious to touch her. He was already ready for her. He
swiftly lifted her and buried himself deep inside her.
They moaned into each others mouths, trying
desperately to keep their lovemaking as quiet as
possible. Carly wrapped her legs around his waist
tightly as he continued to pound into her. Carly began
to feel her release coming as her walls began to
tremble. Sonny kept his frenzied pace, never slowing
down. She crushed her lips to his again as her release
came. As soon as her walls began to tighten around
him, he fell over the edge as well. Sonny slowly sat
Carly back down on the floor as they both recovered
from their release.
“Thank you baby. That was just what I needed.” he
smiled down at her.
“You don’t have to thank me. You were wonderful even
if it only took twenty minutes.”
“See, I told ya I’d be quick.”
“Yes, I know. I need to go clean up AGAIN.” she
laughed as she gave him a quick kiss.
Carly made her way back to the bathroom to take
another quick shower. By the time she got out, Sonny
was almost dressed. Her breath caught in her throat at
the sight of him. He was so handsome standing there in
his navy slacks, with a crisp white button up shirt.
The shirt hung open, revealing a white tank top that
clung to his firm chest.
“Lookin’ good babe.” she whistled.
“Why thank you.” he grinned as he struck a pose for
her.
“What should I wear?”
“Umm, what about your purple dress. You know, the one
with the long sleeves.”
“You mean the short one with the scoop front?”
“Yeah, you look really sexy in that.”
“Okay, should I wear my hair up or down?”
“It’s going to be kind of chilly tonight so why don’t
you wear it down.”
“You got it.”
Carly began to quickly get ready to go to rehearsals.
Courtney stood in front of the mirror, staring at her
reflection. She wanted to look great tonight. In her
heart she knew why she wanted to look good, but she
tried not to think about it. She decided to wear her
short black knit dress. It had quarter length sleeves
and a V-neck that showed a little cleavage. The dress
clung to all the right places. She left her hair down,
knowing Jason always loved her hair down. Little
things that she failed to realize suddenly became
evident. She still wore the locket he gave her years
ago., she still wore his old oversized jersey to sleep
in, and she still wore Jason’s favorite scent. What
surprised her most was the fact Zack never mentioned
anything about the locket. She had told him very
little about Jason. All he really knew was that the
break up was painful. Deep down she felt certain that
Zack knew about the locket, but she guessed he just
didn’t care. He was certain enough in his love for her
that he didn’t care that she still wore her
ex-boyfriend’s locket. She shook off those thoughts as
she dressed Dylan. Amazingly enough they were all
ready to go with time to spare. As soon as they got to
the church, Janine took Dylan from Courtney so they
could rehearse. Jason tried to keep her eyes from
focusing on Jason, but it was very difficult. He
looked so handsome in his black slacks and his white
button up shirt. Jason couldn’t keep his eyes off her.
She looked so sexy in that little black dress. It fit
every curve perfectly. He smiled, remembering how her
body felt under his hands. He quickly shook his head
to clear those thoughts before he got a problem that
would be hard to solve there in the church. Everyone
went through the motions. Sonny and Jason stood at the
front of the church while Courtney walked down the
aisle. She smiled at Sonny who had a goofy grin on his
face. Her eyes then fell on Jason. Her smile faltered
a bit, but she continued to smile at him as she made
her way down the aisle. As soon as Carly made her way
down the aisle, Sonny’s smile changed from goofy to
lovestruck. Sonny and Carly’s eyes locked as she made
her way to him. Once she got to him, they turned to
face each other with their hands clasped together. The
preacher went through the ceremony with them, right
down to the kiss.
“.....then I say I present Mr. and Mrs. Sonny
Corinthos. That’s when you turn towards the guests and
begin your march out of the church. After they are
about half way down the aisle, Jason you escort
Courtney out as well.”
Courtney took Jason’s arm with a fake smile on her
face. Her heart was aching, wishing it was hers and
Jason’s special day they were rehearsing for. She
chided herself at the thought. She was married to a
wonderful man and had a beautiful son, and she vowed
she wouldn’t let her screwed up life ruin Sonny and
Carly’s day. They met up with Sonny and Carly just
outside the sanctuary doors.
“That went well. It only took us about an hour.”
Sonnyy joked.
“Well, that’s because you only have two in your
wedding party.” Jason laughed.
“Hey, why don’t we all go out to dinner?” Carly asked.
“Sounds good to me. Courtney?” Jason asked.
“Sure, let’s go ask Mom and Dad if they want to come.”
They found Janine and Mike talking to the preacher.
“Hey Mom, do you and Dad want to go out to dinner with
us?” Sonny asked.
“I think we’ll head home son.” their father said.
“Oh, okay. Well, I guess I’ll go home too to take care
of Dylan.” Courtney said.
“Nonsense. We’ll watch him. You go have dinner and
have a good time.” her mother insisted.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I am. Scoot!”
“Okay.” Courtney agreed. She leaned over and kissed
Dylan’s forehead. “Goodnight sweetie. Mommy loves
you.” She kissed her Mom on the cheek. “Thanks Mom.”
“Don’t thank me. Just have fun.”
Jason kissed Janine on the cheek and smiled, “It was
good to see you again Mrs. Corinthos.”
“You always were a sweet boy. Don’t be a stranger.”
“I promise.” he turned to Mike and extended his hand.
“It was good to see you too sir.”
“You too son. Come see us.” he smiled.
“I will. Goodnight.” Jason called as they left the
church.
Mike smiled at the sight of them leaving the church
together. Jason had his hand on the small of
Courtney’s back just like he used to do. It was just
like old times. Mike’s smile faded at the thought of
Zack. He really did like Zack and he knew he treated
Courtney well. That was important to him, but he knew
Courtney didn’t love Zack like she loved Jason. He
sighed and escorted Janine to the car before they
headed home.
They decided to go to one of the nicer Italian
restaurants in town. They ordered a bottle of white
wine while Carly drank her water.
“I’d like to propose a toast.” Sonny said as he held
up his glass. “To Caroline my beautiful fiancée. I
don’t know the words to describe what you mean to me.
Thank you for being a part of my life and for having
our child. Now to my one and only sister. Thank you
for being here for us on our wedding day. It means so
much to both of us. You’re the best sister a guy could
hope for and I love you. Last but not least, to my
buddy Jason. Thank you for agreeing to stand beside
me. It really means a lot to me that you’re here by my
side even after all these years. Cheers.”
“Cheers.” everyone said as they hit their glasses
together.
“That was so sweet.” Carly gushed.
“Yeah, that brother of mine can be sweet sometimes.”
“I almost cried.” Jason joked.
“Alright. Carly it’s your turn now.”
“Okay. To Sonny, tomorrow we will be husband and wife.
Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for bringing
you into my life. I love you so much. To Courtney, the
best sister-in-law a girl could ask for. Thank you for
being here for me and thank you for being the sister I
never had. And Jason, I don’t really know you, but I’m
sure you are as great as Sonny and Courtney say you
are. You seem really sweet and I hope we remain
friends for a long time.”
“Awe, thank you.” Jason smiled.
 
“I meant every word.”
“Okay, it’s my turn. To Sonny the best brother in the
world. We may not always agree, but thank you for
always believing in me and supporting me. I love you
very much. To Carly, thank you for bringing so much
happiness to my brother’s life. You’ve made him so
happy and for that I’m grateful. Thank you for being
the sister I never had and my shoulder to cry on.”
Courtney paused as she got to Jason. “To my
Jason...it’s so hard to find the words to say what I
want to say to you. You have and always will be an
important part of my life. No matter what roads we
travel in this life you will always be with me in my
heart. I take great comfort in that. Thank you for
never changing.”
Courtney and Jason looked at each other in silence.
Sonny and Carly just sat back and watched. Jason took
Courtney’s hand and kissed it softly before beginning
his toast.
“To Sonny, thank you for always being a great friend.
I’ve been blessed to have you in my life for so long.
Thank you for asking me to stand beside you on your
wedding day. I feel honored to do so. Carly, thank you
for making my best friend the happiest I’ve ever seen
him and for making an honest man of him. I was
beginning to wonder if that would ever happen. I know
you are a great person. You’d have to be for Courtney
and Sonny to love you so much. I know we’ll be friends
for life.” Like Courtney, he paused when he got to
her. “My Courtney, I’ve thought of what I’d say to you
if I ever ran into you again a million times, but
tonight I can’t seem to remember any of it. So much
was left unsaid between us, but now isn’t the time or
place for that discussion. I just want to say you mean
so much to me. You always have and you always will
have my heart. Nothing and no one will ever change
that.”
Courtney’s eyes welled with tears at Jason’s heart
felt speech. So much time had passed, but yet it felt
like hardly any time at all. They continued to stare
at each other until Carly spoke.
“You’re so sweet Jason. Come dance with me.” she said
as she pulled him to the dance floor.
“Will you do me the honor of dancing with your poor
old brother since my best friend just stole my
fiancée?”
“I’d be glad to.” Courtney smiled
Sonny led her onto the dance floor and they all began
to sway to the music.
“I’m very proud of the both of you. You two are
handling this situation very well. I don’t know if I
could be handling it this well if I was in your
shoes.” Sonny said.
“It’s hard, but I’m trying. I think it’s hard from him
too, but we’re handling it as best as we can.”
Courtney paused for a moment. “It still hurts so much
Sonny.”
“I’m so sorry Court. If I would have known it would
cause you this much pain I wouldn’t have asked him to
be my best man.”
“Stop apologizing Joe. We were bound to see each other
again someday.”
Courtney smiled up at Sonny then laid her head on his
shoulder. She couldn’t bare the thought of making
Sonny feel even more guilty than he already did, so
she turned her head so he couldn’t see her eyes. If he
could have looked into her eyes right then, he would
have seen the pain that burned deep inside her.
Carly and Jason danced in silence for a while. He kept
taking quick glances at Courtney, trying to do it
where Carly wouldn’t notice, but she didn’t miss
anything.
“You really loved each other didn’t you?” she asked.
“Is this more painful than you thought it would be?
Just tell me if I need to mind my own business.”
“No, it’s quite alright.” he laughed. “When Sonny
called and asked me to be his best man, I knew I’d be
seeing her again. I said yes without hesitation. Sonny
is one of my best friends and I’d do anything for him.
Even dredge up painful memories. I knew it would be
painful to see her again. Things weren’t that great
between us when I left.”
“I’m sorry Jason. I can’t imagine what you’re going
through.”
“Don’t apologize, please. I’m glad I got to see her
again.” he chuckled slightly. “Well, lets just say
seeing her again reminded me of how much we loved each
other and it reminded me why I fell in love with her
in the first place.”
“That’s the sweetest thing I ever heard.” she smiled.
Jason blushed slightly, “I just tell the truth.”
“So, are you seeing anyone now?”
“No, I’ve dated you know, but it’s just never worked
out.”
“Picking the bad girls?” she laughed.
“No, I dated some really great girls, but it’s just
never worked out.”
“Why’s that? You’re a sweet, gorgeous guy what’s not
to like about you?”
“I’ve tried dating, but I honestly don’t see the point
anymore. Everyone I date just can never measure up to
who I compare everyone to. No one else comes close to
her. Like I said in my toast, she had and will always
have my heart.”
Carly had never met anyone like Jason before. She
never imagined someone loving someone that much. Her
heart ached for all the pain they were feeling. It was
so obvious to anyone that looked at them that they
still loved each other.
“Did you have any idea she was married?” she asked
softly.
He was silent for a moment before answering, “I knew
that was a possibility. She’s a beautiful woman with
so much to offer. I knew when she left she would be
pursued a lot and I knew there was a strong chance of
someone successfully winning her hand.” He paused
again, “A big part of me was hoping she was still
available.”
“Zack is a really nice guy. He’s a wonderful father
and he really loves Courtney.”
“I’m sure he does. I can’t imagine anyone not loving
her.” he smiled. “Jason Dylan is a beautiful baby.”
Carly grinned, “He’s so sweet. He’s such a good boy. I
hope ours is that sweet.”
“I’m sure it will be.”
“Do you think you’ll ever find someone you can love?”
“I’ll never love anyone like I love Courtney and I
refuse to settle for anything less than the love we
have. I’ll live my whole life alone before I settle.”
Carly was then reminded of what she told Courtney
earlier that day. She thought Courtney had settled for
this life with Zack instead of fighting for the life
she wanted with Jason.
“Are you okay?”
She jerked as if she was startled, “I’m sorry. I was
just thinking about something that happened earlier
today.”
“What’s that?”
“Oh, nothing important.”
They finished their dance in silence. The ride home
from the restaurant was a quiet one. Courtney couldn’t
get Jason’s speech out of her head. Everything was
just so screwed up. She was brought from her thoughts
when Sonny cut off the engine.
“We’re home.” he announced. Courtney still didn’t say
a word.
“Court, are you coming in?” Carly asked.
She looked over at them and smiled, “I’ll be in later.
I want to go for a walk.”
“Okay, be careful”
“I will.” Courtney called out as she made her way back
to the stables. She left her heels by Chance’s stall,
saddled him up, hiked up her skirt, and jumped on him.
They began to make their way back to the field she had
found Jason at previously. When she got there, she saw
Jason sitting on a blanket just like he was earlier.
This time, Jason didn’t stay in the shadows, she led
Chance over to him.
Jason looked up at her startled, “Courtney? What are
you doing here this late?”
“I thought you’d be here.” she simply stated.
Jason started up at her speechless. She looked
beautiful sitting atop of her horse. Her cheeks were
flushed pink from the chilly night air, her hair blew
gently in the breeze, her skirt was half way up her
thighs from having to straddle the horse, and her feet
were bare except for her stockings. Courtney’s heart
began to race from just the look in Jason’s eyes. She
slowly dismounted and walked towards him. They stood
just inches in front of each other, staring into each
others eyes. Jason gently brought his hand up to
caress her face, as he lowered his lips to hers. The
moment their lips touched was like magic. Courtney
sighed contentedly and wrapped her arms around his
waist, pulling him closer to her. Jason deepened the
kiss, needing desperately to taste her after all the
years without her. Nothing had changed. It was as if
their bodies were made for each other. His hands
roamed all over her, needing to touch every inch of
her. She hastily pulled his shirt out of his slacks,
her hands touching every inch of his bare chest. They
fell to the ground never once breaking their kiss.
Even after their years apart, Jason still remembered
where to touch her to get the response he wanted. He
positioned himself between her legs as he worked on
the button on his pants. He looked up at her face just
as she brushed a strand of hair out of her face. The
sight of her ring sparkling in the moonlight stopped
him for a moment. He stubbornly pushed aside his guilt
and kissed her again, but he just couldn’t go through
with it. He broke the kiss and laid his head on her
shoulder.
“I want you so bad Courtney, I just can’t. You’re
married, no matter how much I need you I can’t do this
to him. God help me I still love you so much.”
Courtney cried into his shoulder, wishing things could
be different. She kissed him softly, “I love you too
and I always will.”
Courtney stood then quickly mounted her horse and
raced off into the night, leaving Jason alone once
again.
Carly heard Courtney come in and quietly make her way
back to her room. She got up and followed her to her
room. She found Courtney watching Dylan sleep.
“Hey.” She whispered. Courtney looked over at her,
tears streaming down her face.
“What’s wrong?”
“I ran into Jason while I was out and....” she said
through tears.
Carly put a comforting arm around her shoulder, “Shhh,
it’s okay. Just take your time.”
Courtney sat for a few minutes trying to stop the
tears, “I got off my horse and we just started kissing
and oh God Carly we almost had sex. I almost cheated
on Zack.”
Carly sighted and was silent for a moment, “You can’t
beat yourself up over this Court. It was a mistake
that’s all. You stopped before it went too far.”
“I didn’t stop Jason did. He said no matter how much
he loved me he couldn’t do that to Zack. God Carly, he
stopped because of Zack and I didn’t. What does that
say about me?”
“Court, you know you were wrong and nothing happened.
Just be thankful for that.”
“Yes, but I would have had sex with him if he hadn’t
stopped.”
“Do you really think you would have gone through with
it, honestly?”
“Yes I do. I love him Carly. I can get married ten
more times and try to pretend to be okay, but I will
still love him and I always will. No matter what Zack
does he will never mean as much to me as Jason does
and I hate myself for that because Zack is a wonderful
man.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to say. I’m just a terrible, rotten
person.”
“No, you’re not. You’re just human. You can’t help who
you fall in love with.”
“Yes, but you have control over your actions. I’m not
looking for you to try to justify my actions and make
me feel less guilty, but I appreciate you trying.”
“I’m here for you, and I’m not trying to excuse your
actions. I’m just stating facts. You can’t help who
you love.”
“I wish I could just turn off these feelings for him,
but I just can’t.”
“If emotions were that easy to control, we wouldn’t
have many problems in the world Court.”
“I know. I know. I don’t want to hurt Jason either.
Things are just so screwed up Carly.”
“Why don’t you just lay down and get some sleep.
Things might look a little better in the morning.”
“I can’t imagine, but I’m tired so I think I will turn
in. You need to get some sleep too, it’s your big day
tomorrow. I’m sorry to throw all of this on you the
night before your wedding. The last thing I want to do
is ruin your day.”
“You’re not ruining my day. I’m just glad that I’m
able to be here for you.”
“Me too. Thanks Carly.”
“You’re welcome. Goodnight.”
“Night.”
Carly left Courtney to sleep, but couldn’t help but
wonder what tomorrow was going to bring.
 

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