Title: What the Heart does Speak
Author: The Peesh
Feedback: soapy_nut@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: WIP
Type: Romance with slight abuse, not very descriptive though
Summary: So far, after dealing with a jealous and back-to-the-bottle AJ, Courtney and Jason make the connection that could lead them to the beautiful journey of love…if either of them could give in to what their hearts are telling them.


CHAPTER 1


She sat on the docks, looking out across the water. It’s been a long time since she felt this at ease. Now she could sit down here next to the water and relax for a few minutes before she went home. And tonight she really did need a breather. It was quite busy at Kelley’s this evening and she deserved this surreal comfort.

It was only a few days ago that she couldn’t even sit at home without terror tugging at her. The stalker was finally caught and getting what he deserved. And as much as Coleman wanted to blame it on her husband, she knew he was innocent. Or did she? She saw a look on Jason’s face that caused her moment of weakness, her moment of doubt in the man that swore to love her and protect her forever. But that was over now. She believed in AJ. He promised it wasn’t him.

Then her thoughts drifted back to Jason. She was ever so grateful to him, protecting her while AJ was away. Keeping her safe, making her feel comfortable. So comfortable. Her mind then drifted back to the rainy night. He was going to kill Coleman, she knew. Outside their souls finally seemed to connect, which lead to that kiss…Stop it Courtney, you’re a married woman. You love AJ. She scolded herself. She had to keep reminding herself of that whenever she thought of Jason.

“Hey,” said a familiar voice. As if plucked from her dream world, Jason was now standing only 2 feet away from her.

“Oh, Jason! Hi, uh, yeah. I didn’t expect to see you here.” She stammered. She felt her checks reddening as if he could read her daydreams. Jason gave out a small smile.

“Small town, hey?”

“Oh yeah, I suppose. What’s up?” She asked as she shifted on the bench. She had some tension around him, a good kind almost. But not so good when you’re married. She didn’t even want to think that it’s really sexual tension, no, not with her. She’s a good wife.

Jason watched as she folded her legs out from under her and re-tuck them on the other side of her. Her blue eyes were gazing out so warmly and trusting. He liked that in her, the complete innocence and the way she gives herself out so completely. If only it wasn’t to his bastard “brother” AJ. “Um, actually Courtney, there is a slight problem. It’s about Sonny.”

“What? Oh my God Jason, he’s ok isn’t’ he?”

Jason rubbed his forehead. “Actually he’s gone missing. Nothing tells us he’s in danger but I need to go look for him.”

“I don’t understand. Gone missing? Why?” She asked as she rose form her seat and took a step closer to Jason. She instantly regretted it at her stomach did a flip-flop. She mentally scolded herself again. She couldn’t run around having crushes on her brother best friends. It made her feel like a school girl again, but without the brother.

Jason, still rubbing his face in discomfort, looked deep into her eyes. “Um, he went after Brenda when…”

“Oh your wife,” she said, a hint of pain her voice that she wasn’t quite able to cover up.”

“Um, my wife. Yeah. Anyway, Alcazar got a hold of her and Skye was looking for me, but got to Sonny instead. He went out to get her. Carly can’t get a hold of him and it is my responsibly to watch out for Brenda. So I need to go. And I just wanted to let you know that I may be gone for some time? I don’t know, this could take 2 hours or 2 days.” Courtney nodded. “So just be careful, ok?”

She smiled, “Jason, thank you for your concern. But AJ's home now. You’ve done so much for me, I am so grateful for that. I can never thank you enough.” Impulse had her moving closer to him.

The sight of Courtney moving in on him gave Jason a mix of feelings. This attraction to her made him uncomfortable and was never suppose to happen. But you can’t deny feelings that won’t LET you deny them.

“I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for you’re help,” she finished.

“Courtney, you know I’m good to my word. I promised to keep you safe.” He gazed at her, concern brimming in those blue eyes of his. If I could only stay, he thought, I just have a bad feeling about this.

Courtney cleared her throat. “Brenda is, um, very lucky to have you for a husband,” she said quietly. For some reason those words seemed to echo in Jason’s lonely heart, which was starting to ache. Impulse kicked in again and Courtney leaned up and wrapped her arms around him. Jason, shocked at first, returned the embrace. When she began to move in closer to him, pressing her body against his alarms went off in her head. She quickly pulled away and brushed her hair behind her ear.

“It’s time you go take care of your wife. She needs you now.” She said with a hint of sadness in her voice. The voice of concern was knocking in her head. You can’t fall for him. You made a commitment to AJ. You love AJ.

“She’s right, Jas. Go take care of your own wife,” said a voice, breaking the moment. AJ walked up to Courtney and grabbed her face and gave her a deep kiss. Courtney returned it and then glanced slightly in Jason’s direction. “And I can take care of my wife, bro.”

“I’ll call you with news on Sonny,” he simply said and walked back into the dark before Courtney could say anything back.

AJ turned to her. “Now are you going to tell me what the hell that was all about?”

“AJ, come on. My brother is gone missing and he just wanted to make sure I knew in case, well, worst case scenario happened. He knew I didn’t want to find out by the news.”

“I just want to know why he thinks he has the right to “conveniently” keep bumping into my wife.”

“Calm down, AJ. Please. He is my friend. He helped me while you were gone and I am grateful…”

“Dammit Courtney! How many times are you going to make me feel guilty about that? I did what I had to do to provide, and I am SO SORRY I couldn’t be here in Port Charles to play Superman.”

“AJ!” She exclaimed, slight fear was rising in her. “Please, can we finish this at home? In private?”

“Fine,” he said and walked ahead of her. Courtney sighed and looked back over the water. So long to her peaceful state of mind.

A mix of feeling kept running through Jason has he made his way to the penthouse. Yes, ok, he could admit to himself finally that he was attracted to Courtney and has been for a while now. That’s why he agreed to “marry” Brenda. He could help his friends and also clear his mind and keep in denial his feelings for Courtney. But every time he saw her they resurfaced, strong and stronger. Never have they been quite like this. Added bonus, of course, was she was married to AJ. That burned the hardest almost. AJ sure as hell didn’t deserve her.

Suddenly the door whipped open, and Carly was standing there. “Jason, where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you! Sonny called!”

“What’s up? Is he ok?” Carly walked back into the penthouse. “Want a drink?”

“Carly no. Tell me, don’t toy me.”

“Sonny is upset, but fine. Unhurt. But I’m sorry to inform you that you are officially a widow now.”

Jason shook his head slightly. “What?”

“Yeah, it’s too bad. Alcazar shot her. Said some big dramatic speech about ‘if I can’t have her no one can,’ and shot her dead. Then killed himself. You know, I actually feel sort of sorry for the little wench. But she was going to die anyway. What are a few less months of chasing after other people’s husbands, hmm?”

“Carly, come on. Show some decency to the departed, would you?”

“Trust me Jason, I am.” She mumbled. Jason rubbed his forehead again. Well the only good part about this is he could stay by and keep an eye on AJ. Something didn’t seem quite right.

“Um, earth to Jason? Don’t you want to know what Sonny said for me to tell you?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

“Simply put, he’ll see you in the morning. He wants to just come home and get to sleep. I’ll put a stop to this oh so sad grieving for poor Brenda just soon enough though.”

Jason nodded. “Ok.” Carly look at him closely. Jason squirmed a little, and finally asked, “What is it, Carly?”

“Something is up with you. You have the uneasiness about you that I know so well. Ok, fess up to dear ol’ Carly.”

“Nothing. Just work to do. AJ is hiding something, I know it. Plus, he has that look in his eye what I saw him tonight. I want to keep a look out for Courtney.”

Carly looked at him and a smile spread to her face. “Ohhhh, Jason.”

“Carly, stop. No. I promised to protect her so I am.”

“Yeah, from the stalker not AJ. Even though everyone needs protection from that little weasel.” She stopped for a minute and looked at Jason sincerely. “You really care for her, don’t you?”

Jason stood there, ready to give his speech of honoring his word and protecting Sonny’s family. He finally gave in and gave a small nod. “Yes, I do.” He turned and walked out of the door. He left a smiling Carly behind. She knew it. She knew Jason better than he knew himself. Quietly, she turned and smiled and said, “Jason, you have it for Sonny’s little sister.”

Back at AJ and Courtney’s place, the fight was still raging. “AJ, please. I am not in love with Jason. I am grateful that’s it.”

“And where do I fit in, huh?” he said forcefully. “Left out again, isn’t that just nice. Thanks Courtney. Who would have thought the loving and supportive husband would be the third wheel.”

She shook her head. This was getting old. They were going around and around and around. “AJ, listen. If I loved Jason why would I be here with you?” He was quiet, finally. “I need a shower. I smell so strongly of Kelley’s food that Rosie is going to want to devour me soon.” She smiled. AJ turned his back. “We can talk more when I get out, ok?” No answer. She sighed, and walked into the bathroom to clean herself up.

Once the shower water turned on, AJ went over to the couch. He tipped it up on an angle, and pulled out of the cushions a fifth of vodka. He put the couch down and sat down. Slowly, he opened the cap and raised it to his face. He smelled the drifting aroma, and he could almost taste it. He brought it to his lips, gave a pitiful smile, and whispered, “Here’s to you, Jas,” and tipped his head back and began to chug. It burnt his throat in a wonderful way.

Jason was walking near Courtney and AJ’s apartment, although he didn’t quite realized which way his feet brought him. He had to clear his head. All thought of Courtney had to exit his mind. He couldn’t believe he just admitted to Carly - of all people! - that he had feelings for Courtney. He sighed and began to think. He wasn’t quite sure what was wrong with AJ these days. If he did hire Coleman - which Jason firmly believed after all the evidence he found - what was his reasoning? To prove something? Or as Coleman said, to make Courtney need him more. He was becoming self destructive again. Again. That word rang out in his ears. Again. When was the last time he was like this? He fought to think back on AJ’s cycles. Jason stopped dead in his tracks as he heard a scream and then the window in an apartment up the road shattered down. Glass rained down and he saw a picture frame topping it off.

Then it hit him - whenever AJ became self destructive, the next step was the go for the bottle! He ran full tilt down to the building, knowing whose it was.

“AJ, please! No! Stop it, please! Just calm down!” Courtney screamed. AJ had just thrown the picture of her, Mike and Sonny out the window, and turned and grabbed at her arm. The bottle of vodka was bone dry and he had look of fury in his eyes that she had never seen before. She was scared.

“You know what, Courtney? You are MY wife and you are to listen to ME. You run to ME with your problems, not JASON!” He screamed in a drunken rage. “See your family? Your so called family - a dead beat dad and a murdering mobster son-stealing brother! Out the window like that!” He began to reach out at her again, his intensions not clear to Courtney. But it terrified her.

“AJ - let go! Now!” She screamed, trying to hit him. She already has a bruise on her arm forming from when he first latched on.

Suddenly there was pounding at the door. “Courtney? Courtney open the door!” Jason yelled through it.

“Jason! Jason, please, help me!” She yelled. “AJ’s drunk!”

“Oh yes Jason, try to break through those WONDERFUL locks you had put on! Just try. And maybe your little DAISY here will already be taking a non-stop flight out the window!” AJ screamed back, desperate himself. He knew if Jason got through, well, he knew what he was capable of.

Courtney didn’t know who this man was. It was as if the alcohol consumed him and was speaking for itself. He called her Daisy, and that’s what got her.

AJ swung her across the room and up against the window. The glass easily cut at her arms, as her pajamas where nothing but cotton pants and a tank top. AJ walked over and raise his hand to slap her across the face. She gave a small cry out and he leaned in to her. “You hurt me, Courtney. Deep. So it’s just being repaid. Take it like a good wifey should.”

At that moment, AJ looked deep into Courtney’s eyes. They were pouring tears out of those deep blue lakes. He looked at his hand, looked at the blood on her arms, and suddenly dropped to the floor.

“Courtney, oh my God, baby, I am so sorry. I don’t know what…”

Suddenly, the door broke open and Jason threw the fire ax behind him. He ran over to AJ and grabbed him by the shoulders. He took one look at Courtney, crying, scared and bleeding on her arms. “You are going to die,” he said and started to pummel into him.

“Jason, stop, please! Don’t kill him! Don’t get yourself in trouble, please Jason! He didn’t know…he was drunk….” she got up and ran over to him and tried to hold on to his arm. He turned to look at her. She was so scared and lost looking he could feel his heart breaking. He looked down at AJ, who was bleeding from his mouth and noise, and moaning.

Jason turned and looked at Courtney. He looked deep into those eyes that were reaching out to him, desperately scared. “Grab Rosie, we’re going.” He said. She nodded and began to walk towards the bedroom when she suddenly became dizzy. She tipped, but Jason was right next to her, catching her. “I can’t,” she simply said and slithered down to the floor. Jason bent down next to her and she leaned into him. “Why, Jason? He never seemed like this…this isn’t AJ…” she began to weep.

Jason picked her up and carried her out the door as she cried into his chest. Before they walked out the door, Jason turned around and gave one last look at AJ. He was starting to sit up, holding his head. He looked up and called out, “Courtney.”

She looked up at him from Jason’s arms. Her face was stained with tears. “Courtney, baby, I’m sorry.” He simply said. Jason turned and walked out the door.

Once they got outside he leaned her up against the building. “Are you ok? Can you sit up on your own?”

“Yes, I can, I’m sorry Jason. I’m sorry…” she cried softly.

“This is not your fault, you have to know that.”

“I know, but you shouldn’t be dragged out into the middle of our battle field,” she began. Jason came over and knelt down next to her. “Courtney, in this battle field I will always be defending you. No matter if you want me to or not. I just am.” He gave a small smile. “I’m going to call for a car.” He stood up and dialed on his cell phone.

Courtney lifted her head and saw her family picture on the ground. She leaned over to it and picked it up. Jason turned and watched her as he clicked off his phone. She held the picture close to her and lowered her head. “Jason, I gave up my real family, my only family, for this.” She said. He sat down next to her and she leaned into him, clutching the photo and started to quietly weep again.

CHAPTER 2


Jason and Courtney walked through the door of Jason’s place. She looked around, still clutching her family picture.

“Um, let’s get your cuts cleaned up. Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?” He asked her. She turned to him with her blue eyes brimmed red now.

“No, I can’t. I’ll be sure to see Monica or Allan, or even Bobbie. I don’t want to explain this anyone just yet. Not until I know what’s going on myself.” She said with a sigh. She plopped herself on the couch.

“Well, the cuts need to be tended to. Let me find something…” he started and began rummaging around. “Damn, I left that one kit…well, somewhere. But Carly has one for sure, with Michael always climbing around and what not. Are you ok here alone?” He asked, concern filling his voice. Courtney gave a weak smile.

“I’m sure I can last while you run across the hall.” He smiled back at her.

“Ok, but I won’t be long.” He opened the door and turned around and looked at her one more time. She had her knees up and had her arms wrapped around them. Looking for comfort, most likely.

He could have killed AJ, easily. Just seeing what he was doing to her. And no man should ever be abusive to a woman. Never. He could have killed him, he knew it, he thought to himself as he knocked on Sonny and Carly’s penthouse door.

“Yeah,” a gruff voice shouted out. Jason walked in.

”Jason,” Sonny said somberly. Jason nodded.

“Uh, sorry about Brenda?” Jason shifted. He felt uncomfortable again. He knew it was his job to watch out for her and now she’s dead. But someone, it didn’t matter too much to him.

“Where were you tonight?” he asked, looking away as Carly entered the room with a glass of water for Sonny.

“Sonny, I will be more than happy to talk this over with you tomorrow, but I came by for one reason and I need to be as quick as possible. Could I use that First Aid kit you have for Michael?”

“Yeah, sure Jason. What’s wrong?” Carly asked as she went to the closet to dig it out.

“Simply put, Courtney needs it.”

Sonny sat up quick. “Courtney? What does my sister have to do with this? Jason?”

Jason gave a sigh. “I have to be quick. She’s at my apartment scared and hurt right now. AJ went back to drinking again and…”

“That bastard,” Sonny said. “I’ll have to kill him myself, and I could go and do this now…”

“Sonny, no. Just let her think about this tonight. Like I said, she’s scared; she’s lost and very upset.”

“She should be over here then. Bring her over.” He sat back down. “I’ll have the guest room prepared for her.”

Jason stood there, quiet for a moment. He accepted the kit from Carly, and looked over at Sonny. He gave a puff out. “I need to clean her up. But she may not want to be here. She said she doesn’t want to talk, and she knows me, and…”

“What right do you have to keep my sister from me? If she’s in trouble, I’m her brother. I can help her…”

“Sonny, Jason has a point,” Carly quietly said. “I’ll call over later, is that ok? Talk to her a bit, maybe she’ll want to come over then. But like Jason said, we can’t really push her right now. She’s too vulnerable.”

Sonny’s dark eyes burned into Jason. “You better watch out for her better than you did for Brenda.” He simply said, and turned his head. Ouch, that hurt, Jason thought. But he simply nodded and went back over to his place.



When Jason walked in, Courtney jumped up, backing away.

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to…”

“That ok, Jason. I’m just jumpy right now, that’s all.” She said, and smiled softly at him. Jason walked over and sat down with her on the couch. He opened the kit and took out some disinfectant. He started to tenderly clean her wounds. She causally watched him, and then lifted her head to look up at him. He felt her eyes watching him, trusting him. Slowly, he lifted his head until their gazes met. And it felt as if their souls also connected.

Slowly, he stopped patting the cool liquid on her abrasions and looked down. He began to blow on him, to help cool the sting. He wrapped them in gauze and looked up at her again. She was still gazing at him with nothing but admiration. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Jason brushed her hair off her face and then cupped her face in his hand. He felt his pulse quicken, as she was feeling her tummy do flips again. No words were spoken, but yet they felt everything in each others heart.

turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild.
turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms. turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry.
turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes.
turn around, bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart.
turn around, bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart.


She leaned in, knowing that his heart has heard hers. Their lips soon met, yet again, and just as sweet and brilliant as their first time in the rain. She raised her arms so they wrapped around his neck and pulled him in closer. She needed him, more than anything right now. And he needed her. Jason has never needed anything as much as he felt he needed her right now. She rubbed his hands up and down her back, and ran his fingers through her silky blonde hair. So this is heaven…

Suddenly, his better judgment got a hold of him and he pulled away.

“Courtney, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“Jason, no. It’s ok. I….I wanted to.” She explained, but he got up and began to pace the floor.

“No, no, it’s not ok. Not tonight, not like this. You’re still bruising from the damage AJ did to you. You’re vulnerable and not thinking straight. I don’t want to do this, not to you. I don’t want you to have any….well any regrets.” He explained, running his hands through his hair. He looked over at her. She looked so... what was that he was seeing in her? Disappointment?

But Courtney just nodded. “You’re right. I’m not thinking straight. I need to just get some rest.”

“Before you do, Sonny wasn’t exactly pleased with these arrangements. He wanted me to offer you his guest bedroom. He was going to have it made up for you. It’s up to you, though.” Half of him was hoping she would take Sonny up on his offer. He knew that she would be safe there, and it might be the best for them not to be sleeping in the same apartment. Hell, the way he felt it would be best if they weren’t sleeping in the same city. But the other half hoped he would stay with him. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to be the one she would fall asleep knowing was watching over her.

Courtney sat quietly and ran the options through her mind. Finally she spoke them out loud. “Well, if I go over there, I have a feeling that between his vengeance for AJ and Carly’s busy body conversations, rest will not come easy. But yet, I’m not sure if you truly want me staying here…”

“You know I do.”

”…after what just, um, happened.” She said quietly, and looked down. Jason walked back over to her and sat next to her. He rested his hand on her back and she raised her eyes to his. The feeling she got with Jason was so completely different than what she always felt with AJ.

Courtney knew what kind of woman she was. She knew better than to go back to AJ. No woman should be caught in an abusive cycle. If it happened once it can easily happen again. In her heart, the fact that she ran to Jason, and she trusted Jason with her at her most vulnerable moments and with her deepest terrors, she knew she loved Jason. At that moment, looking at this man in front of her she knew she loved him. She thought he felt the same, but how was she to know? She would love Jason to the day she died, whether she was with him or someone else. She would love Jason whether he loved her, or Liz, or anyone else for that matter. She loved his heart.

Jason watched her lose herself in a pool of thoughts. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her close again. To feel her lips on his and to make her his own. But he knew better. He didn’t want to push things with her, not when she was upset like this with AJ. He hit her! He started to feel the rage burn inside him again, and pushed it away with the thought that she was safe now. With him. He thought that this is what true love was to feel like. Solely put he was hopelessly devoted to her and her life. But he wasn’t going to risk his chance with her by pursuing anything now. She needed to heal. And he would help her, no doubt. But once the wounds closed on her heart he would help opened it back up again to him.

Courtney leaned him to him and sighed. “I’m so tired. I want to stay with you, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” he said, as he carried her to his bed. He laid her down and covered her up with his down blanket. She gave a small smile, and he returned it and flicked the light off. He heard her cozying up in his bed and fought the urge to cozy up next to her. He went back to the living room and sat on the couch. He had a long night of thinking.

TO BE CONTINUED!