"You're going to be released tomorrow," Sonny told Courtney, as he walked into her hospital room. She had spent five days at the hospital under careful surveillance. Her gunshot wound was healing nicely and thankfully the baby was fine.

Earlier, when she had felt the cramping and pain with Carly, Courtney had been really scared that she could lose the baby. And it had been a real possibility. Courtney's stress level had agitated the fetus and so Dr. Meadows had worked to get her blood pressure down, and relax her. There was only so much Dr. Meadows could do, though, it just depended on whether the baby would survive or not. Eventually with time nature took its course and Courtney was able to get back to normal and the baby came out stronger than ever.

"Dr. Meadows just came in here and told me, Sonny," Courtney replied. She smiled because she felt so relieved that her confinement at the hospital would soon be coming to an end. And even though she was under strict orders to take it easy, and there was still a possibility that she would have to stay in bed for the rest of her pregnancy, there was just something so comforting about going home and getting out of the hospital.

"She just told me," Sonny said. "She also told me that she didn't want you to move around a lot, and that she didn't want you to be alone."

"She told me the same thing."

"I know I told you that I wanted you out of Port Charles, but now since that's impossible I want you as close to me as possible. I never liked the neighborhood you lived in, and I definitely don't want you over there now."

"So what do you suggest?"

"What I would like the most is if you moved into the penthouse with me. But I know that you would probably not be very comfortable there, so I want you to move into penthouse 2."

Courtney's breath caught when she heard him say that. "Penthouse 2? Doesn't Jason live there?"

"Not anymore," Sonny told her calmly. He could tell that she was hurt with that little bit of news, but he continued on anyway. "He left Port Charles a few days ago. He thought that since you couldn't leave, it would be best if he did."

"He what?" Courtney could barely comprehend what Sonny just told her. Again she felt as if someone had just hammered her heart. Even though in the five days that she had been confined to the hospital he never once visited her, even though he had apparently put all thoughts of her and their baby aside, she had still wished that he would be there when she got out of the hospital.

"He's gone, Courtney. And I think it's for the best."

"He's gone?" she felt tears come to her eyes, but she did her best to hold them back.

"I've already taken the liberty of having your things moved to the apartment. Everything should be in order by the time you get home tomorrow."

Courtney tried to imagine herself in Jason's penthouse. A long time ago she had lived there with Alexis Davis and her sister Kristina. But then they had moved out and Jason had moved in. And he had put his stamp on the place, just as he had put his stamp on her heart.

"I...I can't live there," Courtney told Sonny.

"What? Why not?" Sonny asked disconcertedly.

"I just...I can't." She felt a tear roll down her face, and she wiped it away self-deprecatingly. Jason was gone and still he had the power to hurt her.

"Courtney, you know this is the best way. You wouldn't want to live with me; I'm way too grumpy in the morning, and I wouldn't let you cook, and I know how much you love to cook," Sonny tried to joke with her. He knew, however, that he could become way to overbearing and he didn't want to do that to his sister. "So Jason's apartment is the next best thing. You'll be close in case something happens to you or the baby...I've got guards all around the building...and I'll still get to see you every day."

"Sonny, I don't know..." her voice trailed off.

"Yes, you do know, Courtney. This is the best solution. At least until the baby comes. Then you and my little nephew or niece can go anywhere in the world and you'll be safe."

She looked at him and the earnest expression on his face. She knew that what he said made a lot of sense. She couldn't be by herself per Dr. Meadow’s orders. She really hadn't been looking forward to going to her empty apartment, even though she was glad to be getting out of the hospital. And being across the hall from Sonny would give her the protection and companionship that she needed as well as give her a feeling of independence. "All right, Sonny. I'll stay there until the baby comes," Courtney reluctantly agreed.

~*~

It had been a day since she had been released from the hospital, and already it felt like an eternity. She had nothing to do but let her baby grow, and wait for Sonny to visit her, so she tried to use her time constructively, but in a non-strenuous way since the possibility of her losing the baby always loomed over her head ominously.

She found that the best way to get through her feelings was by writing in her journal. She had always found it to be a stress-reliever, but until recently she hadn't had stress be life-threatening, so she found her self writing in it more than once daily.

She used the desk by the door and tried to gain comfort from the very act of using something that he used, and from writing in the very place that he used to write. It didn't help too much, but she did it anyway.

March 6, 2003

Dear Journal,

I miss Jason so much. Being in his apartment doesn't help things either. Sonny had some men bring my things over, but apparently he didn't tell the movers to take away Jason's stuff. There's still his ugly brown leather couch and the pool table. They brought in my bed, but they moved it into an empty bedroom, so Jason's bed is still there and it still smells like him. I knew I shouldn't have gone in there when I saw that the bed was still there, but I couldn't help myself. I stared at it, trying to imagine what he looked like as he lay sleeping inside of it. It brought back memories of the times that he and I had spent the night together in the loft. I always felt so safe in his arms, and warm, and it was the best feeling--one that I had hoped that I would never have to lose--so much for that, though. So I picked up a pillow just because I knew his head had once touched it. It was soft and fluffy, and when I brought it to my face I caught the scent of him, that unmistakable smell that just screamed Jason...and it brought tears to my eyes because I knew that I would never smell that scent on him again. It's like he's died. It's worse than if he had died because I know that he's somewhere out there, but he just didn't want to be with me and our baby. Sometimes when I think about it I get so angry I could just scream, and I have and I've thrown things. And these stupid walls are so thin that Marco, or Johnny, or Max, or whoever's outside my door can hear it, and they come rushing in to make sure that I'm fine. I tell them I am, but I'm really not. How can you be fine when the love of your life has deserted you and left you when you need him the most? I know he's doing it because he thinks he can protect me better if he's far away, but it still hurts

Courtney paused when she felt something strange in her abdomen. Since the scare at the hospital she'd been very careful to note any strange feelings in her stomach. She immediately began to worry that something was wrong, but it didn't feel like the awful pain that she'd felt before. Instead it felt almost pleasant, but still uncomfortable like butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She picked up the phone and called Dr. Meadows.

Her conversation with the doctor left a huge smile on her face. She placed a hand on her belly and smiled down at her stomach. "Hi, you, I knew you'd be making your presence felt soon enough, but not this soon. I couldn't be happier nonetheless." She felt giddy with excitement and was about to pick up the phone and call Sonny to share in her good news, but then she felt silly. She couldn't believe that Sonny Corinthos would want to be interrupted in what was probably very important business just to be informed that his baby sister felt the baby kick. And then as she thought about it more, she didn't want to share that moment yet. It was something special, something sacred and she wanted to keep it just between her and her unborn child. So she just sat in the chair with her hands splayed across her belly and just talked to her baby. She told him about how much she loved him and would do anything for him. She told him that she didn't care if he was a her just as long as she was healthy. And then she told him about how much she loved his father and would probably always love his father just for the simple fact that he had given her a baby to love. And Courtney felt that conversation was far more therapeutic than journaling had ever been.

It had been four months since he last saw her. Four excruciatingly long months spent in agony. Not a single day went by that he did not think of her. When he woke up his first thoughts were about her. He wondered if she was happy. He hoped that she was. He didn't think that she would ever be able to forgive him for what happened to their baby, but he hoped that she had been able to move on.

He usually talked to Sonny on a regular basis. He knew that Sonny would take care of her and so he refrained from asking him about her, even though sometimes he thought he would burst with curiosity about her.

He imagined that she had picked up the pieces of her shattered life and had moved on and maybe started college again like Sonny had suggested because he knew that she wasn't the type of person to dwell on the past when it couldn't be changed. It was one of the many reasons why he loved her. One of his greatest fears was also one of his greatest hopes--that she had found another man to take care of her the way he had been unable to do, and to love her in the way that she deserved. The thought of it killed him; to think of her with another man felt like a bullet straight to the heart, but he knew that it was selfish of him to want her to continue pining after him the way he pined after her, and despite his jealous feelings the only thing that he ever truly wanted was for her to be happy. And since he was unable to make her happy, he desperately wanted someone else to fill that place. Because he couldn't stand the thought of her being unhappy much worse than his own selfish jealousy.

It was during one of his melancholy musings that he got a very unexpected phone call. He had been waiting patiently for a phone call from one of his Colombian associates, so when the phone rang, he answered in Spanish. "żAló?"

"Is this the wrong number? I'm looking for Mr. Jason Morgan," a familiar voice replied.

"Who is this?" Jason asked trying to place the owner of the voice. "Wait. Benny? Is that you?"

"Jason! Thank goodness it's you! I have something important to tell you."

"What is it, Benny?" Jason could sense that something was wrong. Usually the only contact that he had to the States was through Sonny, but he hadn't heard from him in at least a week. His immediate thoughts went to Courtney. "Is Courtney all right?" He silently prayed that she wasn't hurt.

"Jason, Ms. Matthews is fine. Sonny's missing!"

"Missing? What do you mean?"

"I don't want to talk about it over the phone."

"All right, does anyone else know that he's missing?"

"Just Johnny and me, and now you. But I think it's important that you return to Port Charles as soon as possible."

Looking at his watch he knew that it would be at least tomorrow morning before he could physically be there, but he had some business to take care of first. "I'll be there by tomorrow afternoon. Then I need you to tell me everything that you know about Sonny's disappearance."

"Of course, Mr. Morgan."

"All right, Benny. Don't let Courtney, Carly, or Michael out of your sight. Whoever came after Sonny might want to come after them as well."

"I've already got them under surveillance."

"Good. I'm going to hang up now, and I won't be in contact with you until tomorrow. Until then, I need you to take care of business as usual."

"Will do, sir."

With that Jason hung up and immediately went to work in preparation for his return to Port Charles. He tried not to think about how after four months he would finally get the chance to see her again. His worry about Sonny stayed in the forefront of his mind, but there were still his thoughts of Courtney, and they wouldn't disappear.

~*~

Jason's first destination when he finally reached Port Charles after a long nonstop flight from Columbia to New York was Sonny's Penthouse. At the airport he called Benny and told him to meet him there.

Jason felt exhausted, but he knew that his work had only just begun. He had a couple of leads as to Sonny's disappearance, but his gut told him that this all had to do with Faith's growing influence on the Five Families and he felt that eventually he'd find everything that he needed with her.

When he stepped off the elevator and walked into the Sonny's penthouse he kind of hoped that Carly would be there. It had been even longer than four months since he had spoken to his friend, and he felt that he really owed it to her to speak with her. Instead when he opened the door he saw Benny working at the desk.

Benny immediately stood up when he saw Jason. "It's good to see you, sir."

Jason walked toward him and enveloped him in a bear hug. "It's good to see you, too, Benny. Too bad that the reason for my reappearance is for such bad business. Have you been able to find anything else out?"

"No, sir. I've tried contacting all the safe houses that Sonny ever had, so I don't think he's gone into hiding. He would have told someone if he had. However, I can't believe that he's been murdered because then it would be publicly known that Sonny is dead so that the Five Families could swoop in and grab up his territory. So I think he's been abducted, but that doesn't really make sense either because there's been no ransom, or anything."

"That's what I think, too, but I think I know why. Has everything else been running smoothly, though, in Sonny's absence?"

"I've taken care of everything. Business is running the best that it has in months."

"Good job, Benny."

Jason took a look around the apartment. The place looked so empty and forlorn. "Where are Carly and Michael? Did you send them to the island?"

"No, sir. They're still here in Port Charles...I haven't told Ms. Benson that's Sonny's gone missing. I didn't want to alarm her unnecessarily."

"Ms. Benson? Carly? Since when did you start calling her that?"

"Since she asked me to after she divorced Sonny."

"When did she divorce Sonny?" Jason asked. The news surprised and saddened him. It made him realize just how much he had missed since he had left the city.

"The divorce was finalized just a few weeks ago. And Ms. Benson had been separated from Mr. Corinthos for months before that."

"I...I've missed a lot, haven't I, Benny?" Jason asked, sighing thoughtfully.

"Well, you've had a lot of business to take care of in South America."

"Is there anything else I should know about?" Jason asked with bated breath. The moment that he had both been dreading and welcoming at the same time had arrived.

"Do you mean about Ms. Matthews?" Benny asked observantly.

"Yeah. Tell me about Courtney."

"I think you will be pleased to know that Ms. Matthews is quite well. She has completely recuperated from her gunshot wound."

Jason closed his eyes in relief. "Do you think she's happy?" Jason asked without opening his eyes.

Benny stared at Jason and realized that he was still completely in love with her. And he knew that she was still loved him even though she tried her best not to. Benny hadn't been privy to everything that happened after Sonny had discovered that Jason and Courtney were in love, but he knew their breakup had been horrible on both of them, and he couldn't help but want to help them. "I think she'd be very happy to see you, Mr. Morgan."

"Happy to see me?" Jason asked incredulously. "After everything I've done to her? Everything I cost her? I don't think so. She's better off without me."

"If you say so, sir," Benny said, even though he vehemently disagreed.

After a moment or two of silence Jason asked, "So if Carly and Michael aren't living here anymore, where are they?"

"They are sharing the brownstone with her mother."

"And who's protecting them?"

"I've got Max and Giovanni watching them. I haven't told them why I've added the extra security, though."

"And Courtney?"

"Marco and Johnny."

"Good. So tell me. What happened the day that Sonny disappeared?"

Jason led the way to the couch and motioned for Benny to take a seat. Jason remained standing, but wanted Benny to be comfortable while he gave him the update.

"Well, sir, Sonny disappeared three days ago. He hadn't been getting any threats or anything that I knew of, and I talked to Johnny and the other boys, and they said that hadn't heard of any either."

"Okay, so what was Sonny supposed to be doing that day?"

"He was supposed to be touring the warehouse. You know how he annually takes a walkthrough of the entire place. Like I told you, business has been running better than ever and no one was expecting any trouble."

"So you think he disappeared at the warehouse?"

"No. He was supposed to be there, but he never showed up. So he disappeared somewhere between leaving here and ending up there."

"And Sonny went there alone?"

"Johnny was supposed to go with him, but Sonny asked him not to."

"That sounds like Sonny had an idea of what was going on and didn't want Johnny to be involved."

"It does sound that way."

"But what would make Sonny voluntarily walk away from his business?"

"I don't know, sir."

"I don't know, either, but it's up to me to find out. And hopefully when I do, I'll find him as well."

"If anyone can figure this out, I know it's you," Benny replied giving him his vote of confidence.

"I have to," Jason replied soberly. "Or whoever made Sonny disappear could possibly try to use what they have against me too and take down our business little by little." Jason vowed to himself that he would never let that happen.

~*~

After he had concluded his business with Benny, Jason knew that he really ought to get some rest or at least a shower. So he left Sonny's penthouse and returned to his own. He wasn't sure what would be left of is apartment. When he'd left so quickly four months earlier, he'd left no instructions as to what should be done with the place. He hoped that if nothing else, he'd at least be able to take a shower.

He tried to open the door to his penthouse and discovered it was locked. So he reached into his pocket and got his keys. Choosing the very familiar key he stuck it into the lock and tried to turn it, but discovered that it wouldn't let him. He looked at his key again to make sure it was the right one since it had been so long since he had used it, but he was sure that it was the right one. He tried again, but it still didn't work. He tried knocking, although he didn't expect to get an answer and he didn't get one. Feeling tired and grimy from travel, Jason just decided to rent a room at Kelly's.

He had walked all the way there before he realized the reason that he had immediately returned to the place that could be most dangerous for him was because subconsciously he wanted to see Courtney. He knew he wasn't ready to see her and he supposed that she was probably still working there, so he turned around and decided that he should probably just go to the Port Charles Hotel. He tried to remember the quickest route there and of course it was through the park so he darted in that direction.

It was a beautiful warm day in late May and he couldn't help but admire the beauty of it. The grass was green, the trees were green and the flowers were blooming. Their beauty reminded him of her and how much she loved fresh flowers. When she had lived in her old apartment she had never let the vase on her table go empty even if she had to fill it with Dandelions. And at their loft she had taken care of pretty green plants that she had kept all over the place. Thinking of her as he gazed at the beautiful park arrangements, Jason hoped that she was able to enjoy such a beautiful day.

Jason was startled when he learned that his hope was a reality because he heard the heartbreakingly familiar sound of her laughter. It rang clearly in his ears. It was the sweetest sound that he could ever remember hearing, and for a moment he couldn't believe it was real. Then his eyes automatically searched out what his ears were hearing before he could even tell himself that he shouldn't see her. He walked towards the sound. He knew instinctively that it was coming from behind a bunch of bushes. He could picture her in his mind. He knew that there was a bench there; he thought that she was probably sitting there relaxing in the sun.

He walked toward the tall bushes, and was about to peek around them just to get a glimpse of her because he had no intention of actually speaking to her, when he caught wind of what had caused her laughter.

"Rosie," he heard her say, "what is the matter with you? Why are you being so mean to Ric?"

Ric. The name caught him off guard. He didn't know why. Out of all the people that Courtney could be with that he knew of, Jason suspected that he was her best match. He was smart, polite, a good conversationalist, and he wasn't dangerous. But even as he thought all these things, he hated the idea of Courtney with him. Before, he thought that Ric could possibly be the man the man that he couldn't be, but in the months of separation the jealousy had grown considerably. When he had been in Columbia, he could tell himself that he didn't mind the thought of her moving on with her life. In fact, he knew it was best for her. But just the simple sound of her voice brought back all the feelings he had for her, and as long as he was there and she was there he wanted to be with her. And he couldn't bear the thought of her with anyone else.

"I'm sorry, Ric," he heard her continue. "I guess she still isn't used to you, but I'm sure she will be...eventually." He could actually hear the smile in her voice, and it angered him that her smile could be directed at a man other than him.

"I hope so," was Ric's reply.

Then he heard a different voice and he realized it was Johnny's. "Courtney, you look tired. Let me take you home."

He didn't hear anymore exchanges, but the concern he heard in Johnny's voice worried him. He hoped that her being tired didn't mean she was ill.

He was so absorbed in thought that he didn't pay attention to what was happening on the other side of the bushes until it was too late. Jason tried to back away when he realized that she was headed in his direction, but he wasn't quick enough.

"Jason!" she squeaked when she saw him. She immediately reached out for Johnny, who had been escorting her. Her face completely drained of color, then her knees buckled. He saw her collapse into Johnny's arms.

When Johnny lifted her into his arms, that's when he realized how big her stomach was.

"Oh, God! She's pregnant!" he exclaimed.