Journey Online

She awoke snuggled close in his arms. She was on her back staring up at the ceiling while he lay on his side with one arm resting beneath her weight while the other was draped over her stomach. The comforter and sheets were pulled up to her neck, courtesy of the man lying beside her. His breathing was steady and deep letting her know that he was still asleep and with good reason… She smiled at the reason unable to help herself. Last night had been the best night of her life. He wasn’t lying to her when he told her it would only get better for them… because so far that was all it had done. Looking up she watched his face that didn’t move and let her eyes travel down to his chest that was slightly covered with the sheet and comforter. She saw the hickey at the base of his neck growing darker as the morning sun brightened the room. She reached out and trailed her finger across it. She sighed deeply almost afraid to believe that they were together but so happy that they were. If she were dreaming she sure as hell hoped no one ever woke her up.

She bit her lower lip as her eyes drifted over to the window where it was covered with new morning snow and she realized that it was Christmas day. Suddenly the excitement made her restless. Easing her body out of his embrace she stood up and grabbed his sweater. Slipping into to it she looked over to make sure that he was still asleep. He had turned so now his face was partially buried into his pillow but he hadn’t waken up. She smiled looking at his ruffled hair. He looked so much like a little boy. Looking down she spotted his boxers and slipped into them feeling the chill in the room. With one last look she left the room and made her way downstairs to the living room where Rosie lye at the foot of the steps. Stopping she stared at the tree and smiled in shock at the presents that were now under it… sometime during the night he had come and placed gifts beneath the tree. She shook her head at how romantic he could be. Taking the steps two at a time she raced back to her room and retrieved his gifts that she had wrapped Rosie following her the entire way. Coming back down she placed them beneath the tree and stared at it.

Meanwhile upstairs…

Jason reached out missing the warmth in the bed beside him. Groggily he awoke from his slumber and did a quick survey of the room. She wasn’t there. If it weren’t for her familiar scent, he would think that she hadn’t been there at all and last night had been nothing more then a dream. Albeit an extremely vivid dream it would have been. He rubbed his face trying to rub the sleep away. Getting up he reached for his jeans not being able to find his boxers and left the room. He saw her standing in the center of the living room staring at the tree. She was dressed in his sweater and boxers and he couldn’t help but grin with his eyes.

She looked up and saw him standing on the steps watching her. She smiled. "You are amazing." She whispered taking in his sight and referring to him as much as what he had done with the presents. He stood there with no shirt and his jeans zipped but unbuttoned, his hair still ruffled from sleep.

"You are so sexy." He whispered not trying to sound seductive but achieving it anyhow. There she was in his sweater at least two or three sizes too large and his royal purple boxers. Her hair was tied in a loose bun while strays of it fell into her eyes and onto her shoulders. Her hands were lost somewhere in the sleeves and her eyes danced with excitement as her cheeks blushed a deep red.

"It’s Christmas." She whispered filled with anticipation.

"Yeah it is." He replied taking the steps until he was standing in front of her. Reaching out he wrapped her in his embrace and kissed her neck intimately.

"You know what I want to do first?" She whispered lowly in his ear sending shivers down his spine.

"What?" He asked, his voice was husky with desire.

"I want you… to open your presents!" She laughed softly.

"Aw!" He moaned dropping his head forward as she pulled away to go and get a present from under the tree.

Coming back she took his hand and dragged him over to the couch and sat beside him. Her bare knee brushed against his jeans as she turned to hand him his first gift. "Open this one first. It’s the one I want you to have the most." She said softly with a small grin.

The box was small but neatly wrapped nonetheless. Pulling the paper away to reveal a small rectangular box he lifted the top off and pulled the silver chain from it. At the end dangled a winged angel.

"I don’t know how religious you are and what denomination you have if you have any but what I do know is that you lead a very dangerous life and whether you believe or not in a higher power I do. I just want something or someone looking out for you, to protect you and keep you safe. And I’m not saying that that chain will do all of that but it will make me feel better every time that you leave. You don’t have to look at this angel as one from God but an angel from me… It’s just that… I love you so much Jason and I would never ask you to stop living the life that you lead but I just want you to be safe… I just want you to always come back to me… and I want you to know that I’m always with you wherever you go." She finished scratching her head at how much she had conveyed. She didn’t mean to talk so much but the pressure she had put on herself and this gift had spurred her on.

He sat there letting the angel dangle back and forth in front of him and listened to her. It was amazing how something so small and somewhat fragile could hold so much weight and pressure of those that believed. He turned to her and smiled with a whole new admiration in his eyes. She loved him enough to want to protect him and enough not to want to control him. She understood that she couldn’t be with him all the time and yet found a way around that so that she could do just that. He swallowed hard at how important she was to him. Reaching out with one hand he cupped her cheek and kissed her intimately drawing her in with unspoken promises and taking her breath away.

If there had been a doubt that he liked the gift he had expelled them all with that kiss. She leaned into him wanting to get lost in him and all the things that he could do to her but he pulled back first. He let his forehead rest on her forehead while his thumb ran across her bottom lip. "Thank you." He whispered. "My turn." He said about to get up when she grabbed his forearm. He stopped to look down at her and saw the silent request in her eyes. He couldn’t resist. Taking her hand he led her upstairs leaving the presents for later.

Later that morning…

"Four? You want four?"

"Yeah, you know so Rosie can have someone to play with." She said with a smile.

"And the other three dogs… what are they around for… moral support?" He asked drawing her in closer to him while they lye snuggled together in each other’s arms.

"Sure that would work." She giggled. "Why? How many puppies would you like to have?"

"Rosie is enough for me." He stated running his fingers through her hair.

She sighed content. She waited a moment before asking. "What about kids?"

She shrugged slightly. "Do you want any?"

He took in a deep breath thinking about her question. "I have Michael." He replied.

She nodded. "I know… but do you ever think about making a baby… starting a family?" She asked.

"Sonny, Carly and Michael are my family… and you." He whispered not wanting to get ahead of himself or move too fast. Reaching down he took her hand in his and played with her fingers. "Why do you want kids?"

"Someday… I want to have kids you know. I want to carry a baby for nine months and go to Lamaze classes and have weird food cravings…" They both laughed. "You don’t ever want to have a baby?"

There was a moment of silence that passed between them as he thought it over. "Yeah…" He whispered softly. "I would like to have a baby someday… It’s just with my line of work… It’s hard to think about things like that."

"Well Sonny did it." She remarked.

"Yeah but Sonny and I do different things. I do things for Sonny so he doesn’t have to do it." He said trying to get his meaning across without saying more then he could. Looking down he watched her face trying to decipher what she was thinking. "Why?"

She looked up at him with a crooked smile. "It’s just… I would like to have a baby someday… with you." She said quietly hoping she wasn’t crossing some line.

He smiled slightly. "When I think about us… you’re always here. You know in my penthouse or in my room… What I’m trying to say is that no matter where I am in the future you’re always right there beside me. I want to have a future with you. I want to share my life with you." His voice was soft but his words spoke volumes. Leaning into her he kissed the top of her forehead knowing that she understood exactly what he was saying. He rested his head back into the pillows and continued to stroke her hair while the other hand played with her fingers. She smiled loving him more every second that they were together.

Chapter Forty-two: I Just Came to Say

Christmas morning had never been so memorable. Jason and Courtney made it over to Sonny and Carly’s penthouse eventually and watched as Michael gave them a detailed showing of all the presents that he got from Santa and his parents and was more then overjoyed when Jason presented him with a few more from himself and Courtney.

A little while later Courtney left to go see her dad and promised that she would be back for Christmas dinner. Jason saw her to the elevator. She kissed him good-bye and then was gone. At the moment he sat in his own penthouse staring at papers with numbers written over them as he went over the books. A knock came at the door and he was more then glad for the interruption. Getting up he opened the door and there Elizabeth stood on the other side. Snow covered her coat and hat and she had a scarf draped over her shoulder and circling around neck. Her teeth chattered slightly from the cold but her eyes were bright as she stared at him. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Elizabeth… what are you doing here? Come in." He instructed. She smiled as she stepped over the threshold and into his home. He closed the door and turned to her. "Did you walk all the way over here?" He asked truly concerned.

She nodded. "Yeah… I wanted to see you." She whispered shivering with remaining chills although the penthouse was warm.

"Do you need me to turn up the heat?" He asked.

"No… I’m fine. I just need a moment." She stated removing her hat and unbuttoning her coat. She sighed deeply and looked over at the tree that was splendidly decorated. "Wow! That’s an amazing tree." She remarked. "Can I?" She asked looking over at him for permission to touch it.

"Sure." He said still not sure of why she was there.

Walking over she reached out and touched the green branches that were dressed with tinsel and silver ornaments. Looking up she smiled at the perfect pristine angel that rested at the very top. Letting her eyes fall she saw the unwrapped presents still resting beneath the tree and she smiled sadly. The whole scene just screamed ‘home’. That was something that Jason never could have presented… but Courtney was a different story. "It’s beautiful." She whispered.

He stood there watching her not sure of what he should say. His hands rested on his hips lazily still waiting for her to tell him why she had made the long walk over to his penthouse in what could have been considered a blizzard. She turned to him and saw that he was watching her. His blue eyes looked on her as if she was the only thing in the room and she couldn’t help but shiver. She had missed the way that he could do that…even if he didn’t know he was doing it. "I bet you think that I’m crazy for coming out in this storm." She said practically.

He shrugged. "I don’t think that you’re crazy. I just don’t understand why you’re here."

"I came here because it’s Christmas and… because you know I’ve made a lot of mistakes over the past year. I did a lot of things that I wish I could take back. When Lucky started to have feelings for Sarah, I just couldn’t deal so I ran from it. I started doing things that weren’t me because I felt as though I wasn’t good enough. Lucky left me and I just felt this blow to my ego a little you know? And I latched on to Zander because it was the last thing that people would expect me to do. I didn’t want to do the nice thing or the predictable thing. I didn’t want to be me." She sighed deeply beginning to fiddle with her hat that was in her hands. "I think that’s why I was so drawn to Zander because he didn’t know me. He didn’t know anything about me so I could be anyone. I could say things that I didn’t believe in and he wouldn’t know the difference. I could do things and he wouldn’t even second guess it because he had no clue of who I was or what my dreams were. And I did things with him just because I could… like sleeping with him." She looked up and met his gaze wondering if he would say something but he didn’t. He just stood there still staring at her. "I didn’t do it because I was attracted to him or because I care about him in that way… I just wanted to see if I could be anyone and do anything. And the sad part is that I never once thought about how it might affect those around me… I didn’t think about how I was hurting the people that mattered to me. Like my sister and my grandmother…and you." She stated softly. The tears clouded her eyes as her voice cracked with emotion. "I never wanted to hurt you. I just couldn’t be with you because you knew me. You knew me inside and out. You knew how I felt and what I wanted in life. You knew my dreams and my hopes and my fears. You knew what mattered to me. And I couldn’t be with you and still hide from myself because you never let me. And I just couldn’t deal with that. I needed to not be me." She said looking away from him.

He sighed seeing the pain in her eyes and wishing that he could take it away. He couldn’t lie and say that she hadn’t hurt him because she had. He had waited for her. He had given her space when she was dealing with her feelings for Lucky and he had kept his distance when she asked him to but he was always there for her and in the end she had slept with someone else. He had justified that by telling her that they weren’t even really seeing one another but that still didn’t take away the pain at the thought of it. And then just when something was about to start she had hurt him again because she couldn’t deal with his life. She had ended it and he had accepted the fact that they just weren’t meant to be together. He had let her go and had moved on. He never knew that he would end up with Courtney. It wasn’t planned or foreseen but it had happened and he wasn’t sorry about it. "Things in life happen and we can’t always see it coming. I didn’t ever want to hurt you with my life. I pushed you away because I wanted you to be safe and clear of what my life withheld. But you just wouldn’t let it go." He smiled slightly and she returned it thinking back on how persistent she had been. "You kept telling me that you could deal and even when I knew that I shouldn’t go for it, I tried anyway and you ended up getting hurt. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t want you to think that this is all your fault. I knew that this wasn’t the life that you needed. But at the time," he sighed deeply looking away into some distant past. "I thought that maybe we could make it work. I was wrong. I just saw what we could have been and I went for it and we both ended up paying for it… We can’t go back and do things differently. What’s done is done." He stated.

She nodded. "I know. We can’t go back and fix the past but maybe… maybe we can start a new future." She said.

He looked at her not liking where this was going. "Elizabeth…" He began but she cut him off.

"Wait… just listen to me. I know that your life is dangerous and that there are things that you can’t share with me. I didn’t understand that and what exactly you were telling me but I do now. I get it… I was hurt when I found out about Sonny and how he was still alive but that was because I wasn’t prepared for it. I didn’t know what to expect. But things have changed now. I can do it. I can be the woman in your life." She said walking over to him desperately pleading her case. "You can’t tell me that you don’t think about what could have been with us. You can’t tell me that you don’t think about what could have been. Because I do. I think about my life without you in it and I swear I die a little every time." She whispered reaching out and taking his face in between her palms. "I still think about your kisses. I can still feel them." She whispered leaning into him.

Grabbing her wrists to stop her he pulled his face back. "Don’t…" he started off when the door opened and Courtney stood there. Her eyes locked with Jason’s instantaneously and then went to Liz and then back to Jason. "Courtney…" He began when Rosie bounded down the steps and ran into her owner.

She looked down at her dog with tears in her eyes not sure of what to think. She had to think. She swallowed hard. "Do you need to go out girl? Come on let’s go." She said grabbing the leash not bothering to say anything to either one of them. She had to cool down first. If she spoke now she might say something that she couldn’t take back and maybe even regret. Turning she headed for the door when she felt Jason reach out for her. She looked over her shoulder at him.

"Talk to me." He stated softly.

"When I come back. Right now I have to take Rosie for a walk." She remarked pulling away from him and leaving.

The door closed with a soft click behind her and he stared at the wood. Sighing deeply he ran his hand over his face in frustration.

"Jason." He heard her say his name and he shook his head.

"You need to leave."

"I didn’t come here to hurt her. I came here to be with you."

"You can’t! You can’t be with me Elizabeth."

"Why because she’s here?"

"No. Because I’m not the man for you. I live a dangerous life and I take risks and I keep things from you. That hasn’t changed. It won’t change. And you think that because time has passed and your feelings have had time to heal that somehow you can learn to live with me until the next time I do something that hurts you or I keep something from you and you walk away from me. And if you don’t you’ll regret it because you won’t be happy. You need to know everything and I’m not condemning you for that. You have a right to know where your man goes and what he does when he leaves you but I can’t be that man. You want more then I could ever give you. You want too much." He stated quietly.

She nodded the tears falling onto her cheeks. "But it’s enough for Courtney?" She asked. There was no malice in her voice just a need to know.

He sighed. "Yeah. It is. I don’t know why but she understands the things that I do. She accepts the life I lead. And I know that because I put her through everything that I put you through. And she got mad and she was hurt, but the difference is, she didn’t walk away from me." He took in a deep breath before continuing. "I’m not saying that you can’t yell at me or get angry or be hurt but I can’t have someone in my life who I learn to depend on and love and have them leave me. I need to know that even when things get bad… they’ll still be there." He remarked looking into her eyes hoping that she understood. As much as he knew that he wasn’t the man for her because he couldn’t give her what she wanted he also knew that she wasn’t the woman for him. She could never be what he needed.

She turned away from him to stare around the living room that now somehow seemed warmer. There were little things that somehow made it feel lived in. There were shoes by the couch. A magazine draped over the coffee table and even a few dog toys scattered on the floor. Before it was just a penthouse that Jason spent his nights in and now somehow it felt like a home. She smiled sadly at how Courtney had done that. She turned back to him and brushed the tears off of her face. "I’m sorry… I’ll go." She said softly.

"Do you need one of the guards to drive you home? You shouldn’t be out in this storm." He said. He may not love her but he still cared. She had been a friend to him once upon a time.

She smiled. "That would be nice." She replied knowing that their time truly had passed.

He made quick instructions to get her home. She waved good-bye to him and got on the elevator. The doors closed just as Carly walked out of her penthouse. She saw Elizabeth and furrowed her brows in disgust. "Okay what was she doing here?"

"Just let it go Carly." He stated walking back into his penthouse. She followed him and shut the door behind her.

"Oh no! Don’t tell me. She came here because she wants you back… Tell me I’m right!" She said with a sarcastic smile.

"I don’t want to talk about it."

"Well I hope you told her that she’s too little too late! You know she had her chance and she blew it! She jerked you around for I don’t know how long and told you that she could deal and then bailed at the first real test!"

"I hope you threw it in her face that you had moved on." She continued.

"Carly…" He said again a little louder this time.

"Because Courtney is so much better for you. She’s smart and beautiful and now that you guys have gotten together it’s like a match made in heaven…" She said with a smile.

"Carly!" He shouted and she looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Please just stop."

She frowned. "What happened? Courtney walked in on you two didn’t she… and knowing fate it was probably right when little miss Elizabeth decided to go in for the plunge!" She rolled her eyes.

"I told you to stop."

"I knew it. Well where is she? I mean why aren’t you out looking for her? I mean unless you want to be with Elizabeth!" She rolled her eyes not seeing Courtney as she opened the door just in time to hear her question.

Jason looked up feeling her presence and he stared into her. Her face was flushed with the cold and her teeth chattered slightly as she held Rosie close to her. She looked up at him not sure if she was waiting for his answer or not. She shook her head and bent down to remove the leash from Rosie’s collar.

This gave Jason just enough time to give Carly the signal to leave. She threw her hands up in mock surrender and mouthed a silent okay. "I’ll see you guys at dinner." She said with a smirk before exiting.

Courtney gave her an apprehensive smile as she left and then turned back to Jason. She tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "So?" She asked.

"What?" He replied standing across the room staring at her. His heart was in his throat and he thought that he might fall apart right at this very moment if he didn’t touch her.

"Do you want to be with Elizabeth?"

"No." The answer was quick and firm.

She nodded. "But she wants to be with you?" She asked.

"She came here to ask me to give it another try, but I love you. Elizabeth and I could go and try it again and I know that it would always end the same. I can’t be what she wants and she can’t give me what I need." He stated.

"And what is it that you need?"

"You. I need you and all the ways that you make my life better." He said beginning to walk across the room towards her. "I need you to talk to me when you’re upset or excited. I need you to listen to me when I need someone to hear me. I need you to tell stupid jokes that aren’t funny to make me laugh. I need you to argue with me about anything. I need you…"

"You need me to what?" She asked waiting as he stopped in front of her.

He shrugged. "That’s it. I just need you." He said.

She smiled with tears in her eyes. "Oh Jason." She whispered reaching out for him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

"I need you so much." He whispered feeling her tears on his face and tasting them in their kiss. He cupped her cheeks in his palms not wanting to let her go.

"I love you. I love you so much." She said in between kisses. Finally she pulled back and laughed a little. "We have to get to dinner." She said.

He sighed. "I know… But as soon as it’s over we are coming back here to finish what we started." He smiled seductively brushing some stray hairs behind her ear.

Chapter Forty-three: New Year Beginnings and Endings…

Brenda sighed as she smoothed out the tiny wrinkles in her dress. The creamy off the shoulder floor length style clung to her body like it was made for her. Running her hands through her hair one more time she stepped into club 101. She had no intention of ringing in the new year here but the thought of spending another holiday alone was just too depressing for even her. So here she was decked out and looking as though she were ready to have a good time. She looked over her shoulder at her guard who stood not too far away and she raised her eyebrows and sighed. Maybe Sonny would be here. Taking the steps gracefully she smiled as Edward greeted her with open arms.

"Look how gorgeous you look tonight." He whispered in her ear as he took her in his arms and hugged her.

She giggled. "You always know how to charm a lady." She remarked pulling back but still holding his hands in her own.

"There is no woman in this room that could hold a candle to you my dear. Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?" He asked.

"I wouldn’t have it any other way." She replied as he led her onto the dance floor.

Both were unaware of Luis’ man standing in the corner watching their every move. Pulling out his cellular phone he dialed a number and waited for his boss to pick up.

"She’s here with a guard. There are more probably on their way with Mr. Corinthos. I just got word that he would be here in about twenty minutes with his wife, his sister and Morgan."

"Good… then it goes down tonight. Don’t make any mistakes. I want this over and done with as quick as possible." Luis said and then hung up the phone. Tonight would start the new year off in his favor or let them all die with him trying.

Meanwhile at Harbor View Towers…

Jason stood at the foot of the steps donned in a dark brown almost black Armani suit. As he waited for Courtney to get ready he continued to tug at his tie.

"If you keep fidgeting with that you’re going to end up choking yourself." She remarked with a smile. He turned to stare at her.

There she was at the top of the steps. She wore a long silver dress made of silk that was sleeveless and back less except for the criss-cross of the spaghetti straps that went all the way down stopping right at the small of her back giving an almost teasing view of her backside. Around the midsection was sheer showing off her taut tummy and bellybutton. Her hair was down but curled in loose Shirley Temple curls with silver beads laced throughout her hair making it almost sparkle. She held her hands clasped in front of her nervously as she stared at him.

"You look beautiful." He whispered.

She raised her eyebrows in appreciation and expelled a deep breath that she had been holding. "I just hope that I don’t trip and fall over myself." She remarked brushing a curl behind her ear. He took the few steps to the staircase and held out his hand for her. Slowly she came to him and took his hand and held it when she reached the bottom. Taking her face within his palms he placed his lips on hers and drew her in. He let his hands fall around her waist and trailed them up her back feeling the warmness of her flesh against his palms. He pulled back and stared into her eyes that glowed against the silver in her dress.

"I love you so much." He said softly.

"I know…" She smiled. "This feels so good. We’re starting the new year together We’re in love…"

"And I want you to marry me." He said.

She stopped and stared into him as though she had mistaken what he had said. "What?"

He held her closer to him when he felt her stiffen in his arms with shock and confusion. "I want to marry you."

"Right… someday." She said.

He sighed and shook his head. "I want to marry you at this very second if you would let me. But I will settle for soon, if you say yes." He smiled.

She stood there needing to breathe. "Are you proposing to me?" She asked tears coming to her eyes.

He shook his head. "Yeah… If you want I could get down on one knee and…" He began but she shook her head.

"No it’s fine. What you’re doing right now is fine." She said through her tears of joy. "I just can’t believe that you’re asking me to marry you." She took a deep breath and wiped at her tears. "Are you sure? I mean are you sure that you want this?" She asked.

"I have never been more sure of anything. I want to be with you forever. I want to start a family together… I want to buy more dogs," he laughed. "I want to come home and find you here waiting for me. I want to make love to you every night and wake up in your arms every morning. I want… I want to have a baby with you. I want you to have my last name and my ring on your finger." He whispered holding her hands within his own.

She giggled feeling the tears come to her eyes and fall onto her cheeks. The joy that coursed through her veins was more addictive then heroine. She looked up into his eyes and breathed heavily trying desperately to control the rapid beating of her heart.

"What do you say… will you be wife?" He whispered.

"Oh God… yes! Yes I will be your wife." She replied wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him with tears in her eyes.

When they pulled apart to breathe he wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up twirling her around. They were truly starting off the new year together… and nothing was going to stop them.

Sonny arrived with Carly holding his arm. They stood at the top of the steps looking like they just stepped out of a fashion book. He wore a black suit with a deep royal dress shirt beneath. His tie was black and purple and made of silk. Carly stood beside him matching his shirt with a deep royal purple dress that hugged her in all the right places. The front was cut into a low V neck that slid between her breasts and stopped just below her belly button. Her black heels could barely be seen peeking out from beneath the floor length material. And as she shifted her stance her creamy white flesh from her leg came into view from the high slit that ran up both sides. She had truly outdone herself. Her hair was up in a French twist that curled at the front and her make-up was neatly in tact. She smiled over her shoulder at Jason and Courtney that stood behind them arm in arm.

The four made their way down the steps and onto the dance floor. Eyes watched them unable to help themselves. Even if they didn’t like who they were they couldn’t deny that the four in the room looked magnificent.

Sonny looked over at his wife. "Have I told you how sexy you look tonight?" He whispered in her ear.

She smiled unable to help herself at the way he affected her. "Not nearly enough." She replied staring intensely into his eyes.

"Would you do me the honor of dancing with me Mrs. Corinthos?" He asked leading her onto the dance floor.

Jason and Courtney found a table in the corner away from prying eyes. Taking a seat together they sat back and watched the couples on the dance floor. Absently Jason reached out and took her hand in his needing to touch her. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. "You know what I want to do?" She asked.

"Hopefully not dance." He remarked with a twinkle in his eyes.

She laughed. "Yes I would like to dance and you promised me that I would get one dance before the night was over… but do you know what I want even more then that?"

"I want to go away with you… I don’t even care where we go. I just want to leave here for a little while and get lost somewhere in the Caribbean or in the mountains… and I want to set a wedding date." She whispered. Looking over at him she saw his serious expression. "I know that we can’t leave right now. I know that. There’s too much going on and things that you have to do but… I don’t know… that’s just what I want." She shrugged slightly and sighed. "Do you think that once this Alcazar situation is over with that maybe we could do that?" She asked.

He nodded. "Yeah. We can do that." He replied pulling her face towards his and kissing her softly on her lips.

"Well if it isn’t the thug and his princess?" A.J. remarked strolling up to the table with a smirk on his face and a drink in his hand.

Courtney sighed, as she felt Jason’s hand tighten around hers. She looked over at him trying to look into his eyes to calm him but his gaze was focused on A.J.

"What do you want A.J.?" Courtney asked.

"Well it just so happens that I was walking through the crowd and you won’t believe what I heard… Carly said something to the fact that you two were engaged! Isn’t that something?" He looked down at their hands. "What happened Jas. You didn’t think that she was worth the ring? I don’t blame you. I mean Courtney and I weren’t married too long before she started banging you…" He never got the chance to finish his statement because Jason had gotten up and grabbed him around the throat. He shoved him up against a wall.

"Don’t you ever talk about her that way!" His words were quiet laced with a silent cold fury that Courtney had never seen. "Don’t you ever say her name in my presence again. You think that I won’t take you out right now? I will." He threatened blocking off A.J.’s air supply.

The music had suddenly stopped and so had the people in the room. All eyes were on the two men in the corner of the room but Jason didn’t notice. All his attention was focused on the man before him and ending his useless life.

Sonny saw what was happening and took the room in quick strides coming up behind Jason. "Hey… let him go. Let him go Jason." He whispered in the younger man’s ear. "This isn’t the place or the time. Come on… you don’t want Courtney to see this." He coaxed, placing his hands on Jason’s shoulders.

That one name brought him down and back to his reality. He was almost afraid to look at her, frightened of what she might see him as. But he had to see her… he had to know if she truly accepted him and all that he was. Turning his head slightly he met her eyes which were staring into him unflinchingly. She was on her feet now, her eyes laced with concern and worry but no fear. She wasn’t afraid of him. She understood that he would never hurt her and all he could do was stand there and be in awe of how she just kept on surprising him. He felt A.J. begin to squirm and he realized that he hadn’t let him go.

Turning back to him his eyes glazed over with disgust. "I mean what I say. I won’t hesitate the next time you try and hurt her. I won’t let you do that to her again… I’ll kill you first." He whispered with a chill that made Sonny take in a breath. With one final shove he dropped his brother to his feet and stepped away, watching him collapse to the floor gasping for breath.

Sonny pulled him back. "Go back to your table. Go ahead." He said his eyes still on A.J. Jason looked over at his mentor before back at A.J. and then turned and walked away. Sonny watched him for a moment before looking at A.J. He sighed and kneeled down in front of him. "You got off easy… You look in the mirror tomorrow and you may see a few bruises but you can cover that up with one of those fancy ties or button up collar shirts. But think about this away… at least you will be ALIVE to look in that mirror." He clenched his fist and locked his eyes with A.J. "Don’t ever disrespect my sister like that again." Only then did he get up and turn away from the younger man. Taking Carly’s hand he led her back to their table and sat across from Jason.

Skye Chandler Jax sighed before turning to the band. "Keep playing." She ordered before taking the room in quick strides to her brother. Helping him up she led him to the bar. "Are you all right?" She asked.

He nodded. "It will take a hell of a lot more then Sonny and Jason to shut me up!" He said trying to clear his throat and get his voice back to its normal octave.

Skye stared at him for a moment noting how he had fallen off the wagon and wasn’t even trying to hide it. She loved her brother and she felt for him but she also wasn’t blind to his faults. He had crossed the line when he pulled that stunt with Courtney. And she believed that her sister-in-law had done him a great justice by not pressing charges and sending him to prison. "Hey why don’t I call you a cab to take you home?" She asked reaching out to touch his arm.

He pulled it away. "I don’t need a cab! Besides it’s New Year’s Eve! I want to ring in the new year with the ones that I love. You and… well you!" He said losing his balance and tipping off the stool.

It was Jax who kept him from hitting the floor. He sighed and stared down at A.J. with pity in his eyes.

"If it isn’t Jax! The white knight himself. Why don’t you go and rescue Brenda or some other naïve woman?" He said pushing himself off of Jax and leaning into the counter. "Hey get me a drink and whatever it is make it a double!" He shouted to a waiter as he passed through the bar.

Skye sighed shaking her head letting the waiter know to keep going. She turned to her brother and sighed. "Okay look A..J. you need to calm down and listen to me… I know that you’re hurting. I know it. But you can’t do this to yourself. You can’t let something like this get to you. I mean I know that you want to get lost in the bottle and never find your way out. I’ve been there and trust me it doesn’t solve anything." She said trying to reach him.

"What the hell would you know about it? You who don’t have a clue what’s going on right under your nose!" A.J. replied.

"Okay you know what I’m calling you a cab!" Jax interjected not liking the way he was talking to his wife.

"Oh yeah you would want to shut me up! What are you afraid of letting your loving wife hear the truth?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Like you don’t know! Why my loving and trusting sister over here… is hanging on every word that you say and every nice gesture that you come up with… you are busy spending your free time with Brenda! Trying desperately to keep her away from Sonny. Because he can’t stand the fact that she is anywhere near Sonny."

"Okay that’s it. If you don’t want a cab that’s fine but you won’t stay here. You will not do this to my wife not tonight!" He ordered furious.

A.J. scoffed and threw his hands up. "Fine! I don’t need to be here with you all anyway. There are better places I can spend my New Year’s then watching my wife and my brother cuddle together and listen to you and your speeches on the evilness of liquor. I’m out of here!" He stated heaving himself off the stool and making his way out of the club.

Skye’s eyes followed him all the way out. "You know A.J. makes it really hard to feel anything for him when he says things like that!" Jax stated rolling his eyes and turning to his wife.

She sighed keeping her eyes trained on the exit where her brother had just left. "Yeah… the things he says really are something…" She stated quietly not so sure of what to think. "I better go make some rounds." She said avoiding his eyes as she walked around him.

He watched her go not sure of what to think or how to reassure her of what was going on. He couldn’t exactly explain it himself.

Jason sat beside Courtney who didn’t say a word to him but remained silent. She tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear as she fiddled with her napkin. She watched as her brother and Carly came back to the table and sat across from them. Carly rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I swear I wish someone would just… squash that bug!" She muttered.

"Hey are you all right?" Jason asked looking at her.

She shook her head. "Yeah." She looked over at him and saw that he was staring at her with raised eyebrows. She sighed. "Really… I’m okay. A.J. can say whatever he wants to… it doesn’t effect me anymore. He doesn’t matter to me and his opinion of my life is irrelevant." She smiled slightly seeing his facial expression soften.

"Do you want to dance with me?" He questioned with a sparkle behind his eyes.

She smiled widely. "I would love to dance with you." She whispered taking his hand as he stood up. Bringing her with him he led her onto the dance floor while Sonny and Carly watched them from their seats.

"They are so beautiful together and so in love." Carly said with a smile.

"Yeah… he makes her happy." Sonny replied.

"She makes him happy too. I haven’t seen that happen in a long time. You know he even chuckles now. In all the time that I’ve known Jason… he’s never chuckled." She remarked still shaking her head.

"They’re good for each other." He whispered watching them as they took their place on the floor. Jason gave an apprehensive smile as he stood there for a moment not sure of what to do. It was Courtney who made the first move and leaned into him. She whispered something in his ear and without hesitation Jason wrapped his arms around her and relaxed. They were most definitely good for one another. "I’m going to get something to drink. Would you like anything?"

"Anything dark and bittersweet." She replied.

He looked over his shoulder at her and smiled. "Well I’m right here baby." He winked at her.

"Would you… just get me a drink please?" She said with a laugh settling into her chair.

A few minutes earlier…

Jason led her onto the dance floor. His hand held hers firmly but gently as she trailed behind him. Turning he met her eyes and she could see the nervousness in them as he stood there not sure of what to do. She smiled. "I don’t… I’m not sure of what I’m suppose to do." He whispered meekly.

She leaned into him. "Just hold me like when we’re alone." She said softly.

He relaxed tremendously as he wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her close to him. Her hands rested on his back as she laid her head onto his chest. Leaning down he kissed her cheek and breathed in her scent. "I’m sorry that I don’t have a ring yet." He whispered.

"I don’t need a ring Jason… All I need is your promise. That is more real to me than anything that you can put on my finger." She replied softly not even bothering to look up. "Your word is worth more to me than anything else because it’s what I believe in… I believe in you."

He closed his eyes at how much faith she had in him. Pulling back slightly he watched as Sonny passed them and he looked down into her eyes. "About A.J. I’m sorry that you had to see that." He said.

She looked into his eyes. They were a watery blue that she hadn’t seen since that Christmas night when she caught him with Elizabeth. There was a fear in them almost. She cocked her head to one side. "I know that you would never hurt me. I’m not afraid of you Jason or what you do. I wish that you didn’t have to do it but I accept that part of your life just like I accept you. I love you… all of you. The good part and the not so good part!" She smiled a little seeing the fear disappear. "Do you know why I want to marry you? Because I’m proud of you and I admire you. I admire your strength and your compassion and I even admire your stubborn nature and the way you won’t talk when you’re angry. I just can’t help myself."

He stared into her with an openness that she had never seen. Pressing his fingers into her back he urged her closer to him and swallowed hard. She took his breath away. And for a moment they weren’t even dancing. All they could do was stand there and hold one another. And at the moment he couldn’t even hear the music, just the steady beating of her heart.

Sonny made his way to the bar and stood there for a moment and like fate were playing with pawns in a game Brenda too found her way to the bar not noticing Sonny at first. He turned to stare out into the dance floor when he spotted Brenda. She looked up feeling his eyes on her and she smiled. Her stare was intense as she came to stand beside him. "Happy New Year." She whispered.

He nodded. "It’s not here yet." He stated with a grin.

"Close enough… I uh want to thank you for my Christmas present. It really meant a lot to me." She said softly. She looked away from him for a moment feeling her heartbeat speed up momentarily.

"How was your Christmas?" He asked.

She nodded not wanting to tell him the truth. "It was nice." She said with raised eyebrows.

He saw the look and knew that she was lying but refused to call her on it. He cleared his throat and scratched his chin. She looked up at him and smiled. "I’m sorry that I didn’t get you anything."

He shrugged. "You’re alive. That’s worth more then anything you could ever buy me. Your life is the best present that you could ever give me… that and to know that you’re happy. Anything else just wouldn’t be the same." He said softly making her look at him so that she knew that he was being honest.

She nodded feeling the tears come to her eyes. "Yeah… happy." She whispered. She fiddled with her fingers as she cleared her throat and laughed slightly trying to ease the tension in the conversation. She sighed about to walk away when she acted on impulse the urge too strong to resist. "Will you dance with me?" She asked.

He hesitated for a moment knowing that it wasn’t a good idea. He looked over to his wife to reestablish his thoughts but she was nowhere to be seen. She must have went to the restroom and against his better judgment he turned back to Brenda and smiled. "Yeah." He stated and walked her onto the dance floor.

Neither of them were awkward as they embraced and began to sway on the dance floor. Those who knew them thought that it was just the past repeating itself. And those that didn’t just believed they were soul mates gliding across the ball room floor. The way he stared into her eyes and the way she looked into him was so potent that anyone in the vicinity could feel it, breathe it, almost touch it.

Carly came back just in time to see her husband and Brenda make their way to the floor and proceed to dance as if they were made for one another. She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. Of course he would be with her. The second she steps away there he is holding his precious Brenda! She hated being jealous. She really did. But what she hated even more at this very moment was being right. He loved Brenda and there was nothing that she could do to stop it. She shook her head in frustration. This was a horrible way to start the new year.

Jason sighed looking over at his best friend. The urge to interfere surged through him and he was about to act on it when he felt Courtney’s breath on his neck as she sighed. Looking down at her in his arms made him forget everything else and remember what was important to him. Not that Sonny wasn’t important but who he danced with wasn’t Jason’s concern. He had a life to think about too now and it was right here in his arms. She pulled back lightly and smiled into him, and laughed slightly.

She sighed. "I was just thinking back to that night in the rain… outside of Jake’s." She remarked.

He smiled thinking back on their first kiss. It was the beginning of something that he never could have imagined. "Yeah? What about it?"

She shrugged. "I just think it’s strange that that one kiss started it all and led up to this. That kiss… It’s weird because I remember thinking about how much I loved A.J. and how nothing could shake my faith in him and the next thing I know I’m looking in your eyes, blood flowing from your temple…" She reached up and brushed her fingers across the almost nonexistent scar. "And all I could think of was how worried I was about you and how scared I was for you. And then I thought about my life and how I couldn’t stand it if you weren’t in it. Just all at once my feelings for you were there and I couldn’t hold back. The thought of losing you was too much I guess." She smiled crookedly.

He nodded. "Yeah… I know what you mean… With me it was the same. I knew that something was going on. I just didn’t know what to call it. I mean Elizabeth and I were over but there were all these left over feelings in between us and every time that we were together there was this tension that wouldn’t go away. And then there was you… always so nice and understanding and honest. You listened to me and you talked to me… you didn’t shut me out or get so upset that you walked out on me… Everything was so easy with you. And everyday that I was guarding you it just got easier. At the time I didn’t think about us being together… I just enjoyed your company. I liked hearing you talk about anything and spending time with Rosie. What I’m trying to say is that when I was falling for you… I wasn’t aware of it. I just didn’t put it together that way. Not until that night in the rain… When you kissed me I knew what I felt… I knew what I wanted and it scared me."

"Because I was married to A.J." She stated.

He shook his head. "No… I mean partially. But it was because you had this life Courtney. This entire life that you wanted to make work and you were happy… most of the time. I didn’t want to mess that up for you. I didn’t want you to feel guilty about that kiss or ashamed of it or even regret it. I just wanted a little bit of all the happiness that you surrounded yourself with. It was just so easy to get lost in you… I mean I don’t act on impulse. I think about everything I do… how it will effect the people that I care about you know? But with you I can’t always do that… I see you and sometimes I just don’t think… I just react. And that night I just saw you and the way you looked at me. I didn’t think about A.J. or Elizabeth or anything but that moment and you." He whispered looking into her eyes.

She blushed a deep red at the way he always made her feel so naked. She was always so exposed with him and it felt good. Scary but good. She bit her lower lip and looking down at the floor. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No… you said everything right… you always do. Tell me something. How did I ever get so lucky? What did I do in my life to deserve you?" She asked feeling his body close to hers.

If she only knew… he was the lucky one. He had waited for so long to find someone like her. Most of the time he didn’t even know that he was waiting. But now here she was and there was nothing that was going to keep them apart.

Sonny knew that he shouldn’t be here with her this way. It was wrong and yet somehow it felt a little right. He had missed her while she was gone. He had missed her smile and her laugh and her hands and her nose. He had even missed the way she argued with him and they had some fierce ones. He smiled thinking back to what they had put each other through. The way they loved and hurt one another both were extreme and intense. Those were some of the best and worst times of his life and he could never forget them… he never wanted to.

He pulled back to look into her eyes and saw her staring into him as though she knew him from ages ago. Reaching up he stroked her cheek, feeling the smoothness beneath his thumb. The sadness in her eyes made him sigh. He wasn’t sure if Luis had done that or maybe it was him he didn’t know. All he knew was that he wanted to take it away. The need inside him to fix her life and make sure that she was happy stirred within him. He felt like he owed her for the hell he put her through. He would owe her forever. He licked his lips and breathed deeply. "I… I should have… I should have married you that day." He whispered.

His words caught her off guard and she didn’t know what to say. He had never admitted to her that he had made a mistake that day five years ago. He had never said that he had done her wrong. And now here he was saying it. She felt the tears in her eyes and she opened her mouth to say something when the explosion came and a second later the roof caved in…