Journey Online

By the time the two of them arrived, Mike was already there and annoying his son. “I’m telling you Michael that if you cook it at that temperature you’re going to dry it out.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I know what I’m doing? I have been cooking for a long time.” Sonny remarked as both men emerged from the kitchen. Sonny’s sleeves were rolled up and the first top buttons from his shirt were undone as he sighed looking over at his father.

“And it never hurts to learn a little something. You know cooking is an ongoing process.” Mike offered not knowing how to back off.

Sonny shook his head. “I thought I told you that my kitchen was off limits and then when I do let you help out, you try and take over.” Sonny couldn’t help the smile from tugging at his lips. He would never admit it but he kind of liked Mike’s little advice. It was a small fatherly thing that made him smile.

“You know what, fine. I’ll leave you alone. When we have dry meat fresh out the oven then you’ll think about what I said.” Mike finished secretly enjoying the exchange between them as well.

“Aw, Mike come on now…” Sonny said letting a full blown grin spread across his face as Mike walked around the couch in slight frustration. He let his head fall forward and covered his mouth trying to muffle his slight chuckle. He looked up as Courtney and Jason walked through the door.

“What are you guys doing?” She asked with raised eyebrows.

Sonny shrugged as a response still trying to hold in his humor.

“Just trying to give Michael some advice that he refuses to take.” Mike explained.

Courtney shook her head. “Daddy, I thought you said you wouldn’t do that.”

“That’s what I tried to tell him.” Sonny remarked walking over to Jason and placing his hands on his hips lazily.

“I was just trying to help.” Mike said.

Courtney laughed a little walking over to him and hugging her dad tightly. She needed a hug right now. Her heart needed it.

Jason stared at her for a moment before looking away. Sonny clamped his hand on his shoulder and cleared his throat. Jason looked up at him. “Where’s Carly?” He asked.

Sonny sighed. “She insisted on having a hand in dinner.” Sonny remarked. All heads whipped around to look at Sonny with scared faces.

“Sonny…” Jason said looking at his best friend.

“Sonny, you know that I love Carly. I mean I look at her like the sister I never had but…” Courtney began.

“Well you know she can’t cook… really! She’s a little more then a… then a…” Mike struggled for the right word.

“Disaster! At least in the kitchen anyway.” Jason finished with a smile.

Sonny laughed. “You don’t think I know that? That’s why I sent her out to get something! I was keeping her as far away from the kitchen as possible.” He said knowingly.

It was only then that they all breathed. They loved Carly but they knew where her strong suit was, and it was safe to say that it wasn’t in the kitchen. A moment later Carly walked through the door with Michael at her heels, bags in both pair of hands.

Sonny raised his eyebrows. “Carly what is all this?”

She sighed deeply. “Well I know that you sent me to get yellow peppers for the salad but then I saw these green ones which I couldn’t get without picking up the red ones as well. And then I figured you wouldn’t use all these peppers in the salad so then I thought that I would just pick up something and whip it up really quick for dinner.” She said with a smile.

There was a long silence as everyone tried to think of something to say. “I tried to tell her that she wasn’t a cook but she wouldn’t listen to me.” Michael said with a heavy sigh still holding the brown bag within his arms.

All heads turned to look at the small boy with a smile but it was Sonny who spoke first. “Okay you know what? Why don’t we save those other peppers and that other stuff you bought for another time?” He suggested taking the bags out of her hands and leading her into the kitchen.

“Are you sure Sonny?” She asked her voice dying away as the couple disappeared into the kitchen.

“Can I put this bag down?” Michael asked softly looking over his shoulder at his uncle.

Jason smiled. “Sure buddy.” He said taking the bag and placing it on the desk.

The boy smiled. “Hey grandpa!” Michael said running to Mike. The older man lifted him up off the ground and hugged him tightly. He laughed loving the sound of Michael calling him Grandpa. He really did love his family and he missed them.

Courtney smiled staring at her father. It was nice to see him happy for once. She knew that he wouldn’t admit it to her but this right here is all that he wanted. He wanted to be apart of Sonny’s life and his family. She was happy that she could do this for him. She felt Jason’s eyes on her back and looked over her shoulder at him. He didn’t say anything and she didn’t know what he was thinking but he didn’t look away from her. They held the stare until Sonny and Carly emerged from the kitchen.

“Hey Courtney why don’t you help me bring out dinner?” Sonny asked.

Courtney nodded absently still drawn into Jason’s piercing blue eyes.

“And the guys will help me set the table.” Carly suggested with a smile.

Jason looked over at Carly and knew that this would most certainly be an interesting night.

The dinner had been exactly what Jason needed. He was home and with his family… all the people that mattered to him were in this room except for Emily. He would call her later tonight and let her know that he was okay. He smiled absently as he thought about being able to call whomever he wanted. He could talk to anyone that he wanted to and not have to hide. He didn’t have to hide anything anymore because for the first time in months he was free.

“So what about you Jason?” Her voice broke him from his silent thoughts.

Carly smirked. “I asked you what do you think about me opening a new club? I mean nothing is set in stone but I’ve been really thinking about doing this.”

He sighed truly contemplating her question. “I think that it’s a good idea. When you were working on your club before… you got into less trouble.” Jason said as an afterthought taking a sip of his champagne.

Courtney smiled at his remark, which he caught over the rim of his glass.

Carly smirked about to retort when she saw the look Jason gave Courtney. She shook her head and sighed deeply. “Well… how about dessert?” Carly asked as she pushed her chair away from the table and stood before all of them.

Sonny smiled. “I could go for that.”

“I’ll clear the table.” Courtney said gathering the plates.

Carly clasped her hands in front of her resting them beneath her chin as she spoke. “Thanks…” She watched as Courtney disappeared into the kitchen and then turned to Jason. “Jason would you grab the dessert out of the refrigerator?” Her face was innocent but Jason sensed her motives in her words.

He sighed and shook his head slightly. “Okay.” He stated pushing his chair away from the table and walking around it toward the kitchen. As he passed Carly he nudged her in her back slightly and she looked over her shoulder at him with a grin.

“Thank you.” She whispered sweetly.

He found her by the sink rinsing off dishes and placing them in the dishwasher. She turned to him when she heard his footsteps. She stopped in mid-rinse and they both simply stared at one another as if caught in a trance.

“I just came in here to get the dessert.” He said softly not moving.

She nodded her blue eyes staring into his still form. Finally she turned away from him and began rinsing again as though she were thoroughly engrossed in what she was doing. Meanwhile her mind was a million miles away.

He stared at her back knowing that he was causing her pain but not knowing what to do to fix it. She had moved on… the missing ring on her finger had told him so. Walking over to the refrigerator he pulled the cake out of the fridge.

“Ow… oh damn it!” She whispered harshly holding her hand within the other and wincing in pain.

He looked over his shoulder at her. “What? What is it?”

She shook her head. “Nothing… it’s nothing. I just nicked my finger on one of Sonny’s dinner knives… I swear he sharpens these things every morning and every night.” She muttered feeling the blood flow from her finger and into her opposite hand. She didn’t even want to see it.

Setting the cake on the counter he came to her. “Let me see.” He instructed reaching out for her hand.

She looked up into his eyes but didn’t move other then that and saw him staring at her hands.

Jason could see the blood drip through the cracks in her fingers and sighed, knowing it was worst then she knew. He looked up at her noticing that she hadn’t moved. “I can’t help unless you let me see it.” He said softly sensing her hesitation. The fact that she didn’t trust him like she once did hurt a little more then he wanted to think about. Slowly he reached out and placed his hand on hers and wrapped his fingers around them and gently began to tug her fingers away from the wound so he could see it. They never broke eye contact until he had the injury completely revealed and only then did he look away from her to see how bad it was. He sighed. There was too much blood to see the cut. Reaching over he placed her hand beneath the warm water and let it run over it washing the blood away. He felt her tense at the pain.

“It’s okay…” He whispered gently. A moment later he removed their hands and stared at the cut. It was small but a little deep. “It’s not too bad… Some gauze and ointment should fix it.” He said. Letting go of her hands momentarily he retrieved the first aid kit from beneath the sink. “Take a seat.” He instructed pulling out two chairs from beneath the kitchen table for her and himself.

She sat slowly. She still held her hand tightly but relinquished it to him this time when he asked for it. He smiled slightly seeing the brave face she was trying to put on as she watched him. He said nothing just took care of her hand. His fingers moved gingerly over her own as though he were an expert. “Almost done.” He whispered mainly to himself as he wrapped the bandage around her finger and secured it in place. “Done.” He said but still held her hands within his own stroking it, caressing it. He sighed absently and stared at the missing ring that should have been there.

Overwhelmed with his touch she had no idea what he was thinking about. All she could do was close her eyes briefly and think about how much she loved him… The tears formed behind her closed eyelids.

He looked up just in time to see the first tears spill onto her cheeks and without hesitation he reached out and brushed them away with the pad of his thumb. “Don’t… don’t cry.” He whispered concern shining through his blue eyes. Reaching up with her other hand she covered his letting the feel of him consume her. She opened her eyes and stared into him seeing only him and their love. She opened her mouth about to speak when Michael came running into the kitchen, like a kid on a mission.

“Uncle Jason where’s the cake?” The little boy squealed.

Jason immediately pulled away from Courtney and stood up distancing himself from the woman before him. He sighed deeply. “It’s right here.” He said walking over to the counter and grabbing the chocolate dessert and turned back to Michael. “You ready?” He asked.

The boy shook his head and then turned to his Aunt. “Aunt Courtney… what happened to your hand?”

She swallowed hard trying to get her heartbeat back under control. “I uh… I had an accident.”

She nodded smiling genuinely at the little boy’s concern. “Yeah… all better.” She remarked her voice still a little shaky.

“Well then come on and let’s eat some cake. Mom said that I can have the biggest slice… even bigger then Grandpa’s!” He remarked excitedly.

She laughed a little. “I’ll be there in a second. I’m just going to clean up this mess. You go on ahead.”

Michael turned to Jason and rolled his eyes. “Girls!” He remarked grabbing Jason’s free hand and tugging him out of the kitchen. Jason looked back over his shoulder briefly catching Courtney’s stare until he was out of the kitchen.

Sighing deeply she bowed her head and let it rest in her upturned palms carefully avoiding her bandaged finger. She couldn’t do this anymore… she couldn’t hold out for him or wait for him when he obviously couldn’t commit to her. Reaching into her shirt she pulled out the thin gold chain that held her wedding ring. She played with the gold band between her fingers looping one of them through it absently. She could feel the imprint of the inscription inside. ‘I give you my heart.’ What happened to that? She asked herself silently…

Chapter Nine: Talking to You

Jason sighed as he left Sonny’s penthouse and entered his ‘home’. Slowly he opened the door and stepped over the threshold. It wasn’t until he had closed it behind him that he switched on the light. His heart came to a brief halt as a chill ran up his spine. It was so cold inside here and so bare… it was, just a penthouse. There was his pool table, his couch and his dutiful desk that remained steady and strong but nothing else. He looked over into the far corner where there once stood their first Christmas tree. He couldn’t see it now, the picture had faded over the time he had been away but the image of her was still evident. They way she looked in his sweater and boxers… he wondered why he could still see her? Maybe it was because it was her that he saw every night for the last seven months… maybe because it was her face that greeted him every morning when he awoke. He didn’t dream but he knew that if he did it would be of her. Running his hand over his face he sighed. He could almost hear her laughter and her voice. He could feel her touch and her lips… the imagery was so clear in his head that it was scary. The sound of the phone ringing broke him from his silent thoughts. “Hello…” He smiled when he heard his sister’s voice on the other end.

“Did you make it home okay?” She asked sitting up in her bed.

“Yeah…” He said. “How about you? Are you okay?” He took a seat on the couch.

She sighed. “Yeah… I’m not the one that was on the run… so have you talked to A.J.?”

He didn’t reply at first. He loved his sister. She were one of the few that mattered to him. That was why he had gone to see her when he first left Port Charles. He wanted her to know that he was okay and that she didn’t have to worry about him. The reunion had been sweet and over way too soon. “Not yet.” He answered honestly.

She took a moment before continuing. “You know I read what they wrote about him in the paper… not to mention that’s all anyone talks about over here. They question me all the time about what he’s like and if he’s really capable of murder. There are even reporters that follow me when I go out now.” She listed off not sounding scared but a little upset.

“If you want I can have a bodyguard out there to take care of you.” He offered.

She rolled her eyes and smiled slightly. “Yeah because that will look normal.” She shook her head. “The last thing I want to do is draw more attention to myself… I guess it just bothers me because… well because…” She didn’t want to continue almost afraid.

He sensed her trepidation. “Emily you know that you can tell me anything.”

She took a breath before continuing. “I know… I guess it’s just that I really don’t know what to tell them. I can try and ignore the reporters and everything you know. I can act as if I don’t have a comment and that’s fine but when I’m alone… I have the same questions about A.J. that they do. I mean murder is horrible anyway that you look at it but I kind of understand why he did it… you told me what kind of man Mr. Luis Alcazar was. I kind of get everything that you were telling me and therefore I’m not mad about what he did… I’m not proud either but I can sort of understand… but what I don’t get and what bothers me is… how could he leave you to take the rap for it?” She asked softly. There was no malice in her voice. There was just a sense of disbelief. “It just made me realize that… I don’t know A.J. at all.” She whispered mainly to herself.

He sighed. “A.J. did confess.” He stated wanting to help her in any way that he could.

She let a small sad laugh escape her lips. “Yeah it only took a full blown investigation before he did.” She remarked. “What if they never would have investigated? Then what would have happened? You may have never been able to go home.” She said softly.

“But they did and I am… so just stop worrying okay?” He asked softly hating the fact that she was so far away and isolated from her family.

“How can I not worry, Jason? What do you think they’ll do to him?” She asked scared of the answer.

He sat there for a moment trying to think it over… “Well… there is a bail hearing tomorrow where he will be able to post bail and enter in a plea. Because he already admitted that he was guilty they will probably come back in the next few days for a sentencing hearing.”

“When you say sentencing… you mean like life in prison right? You don’t… well you don’t think that they’ll execute him do you?” She asked brokenly trying to hide the tears in her voice.

He wanted nothing more then to reach through the phone and hold her in his arms like a good big brother. “I know… I know that what he did, was wrong. I do, really I do but Jason, please tell me that they won’t kill him.” She pleaded with him her resolve cracking.

He sighed. “I… I won’t let that happen.” He promised. If for her sake alone he wouldn’t let A.J. be executed not if he could prevent it. He loved his sister too much to let her be subjected to this kind of pain. How was it that A.J. took for granted all the women that cared about him? “I won’t let them kill A.J… I promise you.” He said.

She wiped at her tears. “I know that he doesn’t deserve your loyalty Jason…” She began but he cut in.

“He doesn’t have it… I’m doing this for you. My loyalty is to you.” He whispered empathetically. “And it’s your love that A.J. doesn’t deserve and your loyalty and your friendship but that has nothing to do with me and him and what I will do for you.” He finished quietly.

She smiled softly at his words. “I thank you so much Jason… I will find a way to pay you back.” She said.

He shook his head and then remembered that she couldn’t see him. “There’s nothing to pay back. You are my family Emily. I love you. If there is a way to keep you from feeling pain then I will gladly do it.” Just then there was a knock at the door. He thought about ignoring it when he heard it again and again.

“Jason! Jason I know you’re in there.” Came the voice on the other side of the door.

Jason furrowed his brow and sighed, deeply almost not believing it was who it sounded like. “Jason what is that?” Emily questioned.

He shook his head absently as he made his way over to the door. “A hurricane.” He remarked opening the door and watching as Brenda blew right in.

“Took you long enough.” She threw over her shoulder as she began to remove her Jean jacket.

“Yeah I know what you mean…” He said into the phone ignoring the brunette completely.

“So were you ever going to call me and let me know that you were back in town?” She asked throwing her jacket onto the couch and turning to face him.

“Hold on a sec.” He said to Emily. “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” He asked sarcastically.

She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. “With who? Is that Courtney?”

He rolled his eyes and turned back to his phone call. “Yeah I’m still here.”

“Well is it? I mean have you even talked to her since you been back… is that her?” She kept bugging walking over to him and reaching out to grab the phone.

“Would you get away from me!” He shouted at her.

“You know Courtney and I are friends! I have a right to know if you’re talking to her and breaking her heart again!” She fired back still reaching out for the phone.

“It’s not Courtney!”

“I know it’s a girl I heard her voice! I swear if you’re cheating on her I will break you…”

“It’s my sister!” He shouted.

There was a moment of silence as she stared at him and then her gears changed. “Emily? Let me talk to her!” Before he could stop her she grabbed the phone. “Emily?” She asked excitedly. “Oh girl you sound so grown-up! I can’t believe it!” She squealed forgetting about Jason completely for the moment and walking around the penthouse still talking adamantly on the phone.

He sighed rubbing his forehead tiredly. Walking over to his window he stared out into the black night. He wondered if Courtney was already asleep. Mike had walked her home… ‘home’. He didn’t even know where that was. It was probably someplace nice and warm… and even cozy. She most likely had curtains on her windows and plush pillows on her couch. There were probably pictures on her walls and dog toys in every corner. He smiled slightly. He even missed Rosie.

“Emily wants to say good-night.” Brenda thrust the phone beneath his nose breaking him from his thoughts and back to the here and now. He snatched the phone from her hand.

“Thank-you!” He shot back sarcasm dripping from his tone. “Emily… yeah okay. I love you too. I’ll talk to you soon… I promise.” He whispered smiling at her genuine concern for his well being as she made him promise that he would take care of himself. A moment later the line went dead and he turned the phone off. He turned to Brenda. “What do you want?” He asked irritated by the sight of her.

She rolled her eyes. “Why… why do you have to be like that?”

“Like… like that! Why can’t you just be civil to me?”

“Oh… like you?”

“Because banging on my door and welcoming yourself in is civil?” He asked sarcastically.

She shook her head. “Okay that wasn’t a great way to make an entrance but you weren’t going to answer the door right?” She asked already knowing.

He shrugged her question off as he walked past her and placed the phone back in its cradle.

“So what?” He fired back.

She sighed. “Have you seen her?”

“Have you talked to her?”

He sighed. “Yeah.”

She leaned into the corner of the desk as she folded her arms. “And what did you say?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Actually it is!”

“No, ‘actually’ it isn’t!”

She pursed her lips together and stopped for a moment. “Okay fine you’re right, it isn’t… but I still want to know.” She muttered. He walked around her and flopped down on his couch ignoring her.

She turned so she could see him and rolled her eyes. “You owe me.”

He looked over at her like she had just grown another head. “I owe you?”

“Yes you owe me.” She said insistently.

“How is it that I owe you?”

“Did we forget about the little phone call you made to me… about I don’t know, seven months ago? You know the one where you asked me to go to the hospital and lie to your fiancée for you?”

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “You’re saying that I owe you for that one thing that you did for me after everything that I did for you? I married you when you asked me to. I divorced you when you wanted and I even trusted you to go after Sonny and I owe you?”

She waved her hands in front of her as though trying to brush away his statement. “Okay why are we keeping tabs?” She asked absently knowing he had a point but not wanting to admit it. “The point is…”

“The point,” he interjected. “is that I don’t owe you anything. I asked you to do me a favor and I’m grateful for it and now it’s over! I appreciate what you did but I don’t owe you anything. So you can get out.”

“Don’t dismiss me! And I don’t want your appreciation or your gratitude! Do you know what you did to her? Do you have any idea how badly you hurt her? You asked me to go to that hospital and lie to her… for you. You asked me to do the worst thing in the world for you. You asked me to make her doubt your love… I know you know what I’m talking about. It’s the exact same thing that Sonny asked you to do for him. It wasn’t right then and it’s not right now! You left her standing in the rain… do you know how that feels? To watch her sit there and break apart right before your eyes, and to know that it’s because of you, because someone was too much of a coward to go and tell her himself.” She stated angrily.

“Why do you care what happens between Courtney and me? I broke her heart so why do you want me with her?”

“Because… Because!” She yelled fighting her own unshed tears. “Because… she’s my friend!” She was breathing heavy now feeling the emotions course through her veins. “I don’t… have many friends other then Courtney… and you.” She laughed sarcastically but knew that it was the truth, “are the only people… that I can talk to about you know… anything and everything. I mean she just accepts me… even with all the crazy things that I do and knowing how I feel about her brother and her sister-in-law.” She rolled her eyes at the thought of Carly. She shrugged wiping at her eyes. “She doesn’t let that get in the way of our friendship… I’ve never had someone like that in my life before… she doesn’t pressure me to do the right thing all the time and she gives me enough rope to hang myself and she won’t condemn me for it later.” She sighed deeply getting her feelings back under her control. “I just want her to be happy and… God only knows why but you make her happy.” She laughed softly as he did the same. “She’s funny you know?”

He shook his head and rubbed his chin thinking of some of her corny jokes. “Yeah I know.”

She nodded a half smile coming to her lips as they both thought of Courtney. “And other then Lois and Robin… I haven’t had any real ‘girlfriends’ that I can really do things with… you know like shop and go out with… and you know just be me with. I don’t have to pretend around her. She never met the model or the music manager… I can just… be me.” She whispered softly.

There was a moment of silence that passed between them as they held a stare until finally Jason sighed. “Are you done.”

She rolled her eyes knowing that she at least got her point across even if he didn’t admit it. “Yeah I’m done.” She said.

“Good. Now you can go.” He remarked with a small smile grabbing her jacket off the couch and throwing it at her.

She caught it easily as he slightly pushed her to the door and opened it for her more then happy to get her out of his penthouse. As she stepped into the hall she turned back to him. “One more thing.” She said.

He let his head droop forward tiredly not wanting to hear her rant again. “What?”

“Just that… well you know… I’m glad that you’re back…”

He looked up and he smiled seeing that she was being sincere.

“Whatever.” She turned on her heel and got on the elevator not bothering to look back.

He watched her go and rubbed his forehead before closing the door. Leaning his back into the frame he simply stood there and then in an instant he grabbed his jacket out of the closet and left the penthouse.