Journey Online

She woke up in his arms the next morning. 'I love this' she thought, and she pressed closer to his body. He tightened his arms around her, not really awake, but sensing that she needed him. She had brought her hand down to her stomach and slightly pressed where her stitches were. Since she had been pretty out of it the whole week she was at the hospital, her stitches had already started to heal. Her thoughts turned longingly to children. 'No! I won't think about this' she thought, but it was too late. The thoughts had already invaded her mind. She sighed as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

Jason sensed something was wrong. She usually woke up so happy in the morning. He had tightened his grip on her, hoping that would help, and it had seemed to for a minute, but when he felt something wet on his chest, he knew she was crying. He kissed the top of her head. "Baby? What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking about things I shouldn't be thinking of." He knew she was talking about children. "You know," she continued, " I never really told you how I felt about everything." She always liked to talk to him here in their bed. She felt safe here, and they didn't have to worry about being interrupted.

"Why don't you tell me now," he whispered.

She took a breath and partially sat up to look at him. "When you were younger, what did you want to be?"

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question."

"That's right, the accident. I forgot baby. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm not. Look at what a wonderful life I have now. But to answer your question, I probably wanted to be a fireman."

"What makes you say that?" she laughed.

"Every little boy wants to be a fireman at some point and time," he said logically.

"That's what I was hoping you would say. See, most little boys, when you ask them what they want to be when they grow up, respond with something like that: fireman, doctor, policeman, you know, some occupation. Do you know what most little girls say when asked that question?" He didn't respond, knowing he didn't need to. She whispered the answer to her own question. "Mommies, that's what they answer."

His body felt the pain all over again as her eyes filled with tears, but he let her continue. "That's all I wanted to be when I was little, and I always assumed that one day, I'd get to do that. I love you Jase, I have no doubt of that, it's just that part of my heart hurts. I told Carly this the morning she and I spoke. I feel as if there is a void in my heart that I didn't really realize was there before. I never knew how much I wanted children, your children, until someone told me I might not be able to have them. I want to marry you, but I'm not ready to give up on the idea of having children. I want to go back and see that doctor or any other specialist we need to see. I want to try to fight this, but I can't do it alone. I have to know if you want this also. And, I want to know if it is what you truly want, not just you giving me what I want "

"I told you on the island that I would love you raise a family with you. If you want to fight, then I want to fight with you. But I don't want to push you, and I don't want you to do this because you think I want you to. I love you, and I can't wait for you to be my wife. If we have children, we will have a wonderful life! If we don't have children, we will have a wonderful life."

He knew she believed him because of the look in her eyes. Reaching his hand up to her back, he drew her to him and pressed his lips against hers. She responded to his need for her by reaching around him and raking her fingers through his hair, knowing he couldn't ever resist that. Tilting her head back, she let out a soft moan as he tenderly trailed kisses down her neck. She whispered his name, telling him with that one word how much she wanted him, but he pulled away.

"I don't want to hurt you," he said, placing his hand on her stomach. "I don't think you're ready, physically," he added, not wanting her to think he didn't want her. "Besides, we should wait until our wedding night. I know it won't be a first for either of us, but I want that night to be special for us both."

She giggled, and placed a hand on his cheek. "You are such a romantic man. Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Yeah, I do," her replied tenderly, before changing his tone to one of mock anger. "And don't go saying that 'romantic man' thing to everyone. I don't need Sonny or anyone else I work with thinking that I have gone soft."

"Your secret is safe with me," she said, her eyes twinkling. "So, when does this wedding night take place?"

"When do you want it to?"

"Soon," she replied. “I can’t wait to your wife.”

“All you have to do is pick a date.”

“Are you sure? That’s a lot for you to do in that time, and I don’t want you overdoing anything,” he said concerned.

“What? Are you trying to get out of this?” she asked with laughter in her eyes.

“I have Carly to help me. If you agree, then we can get it done in time.”

He drew her into his arms, and kissed her again passionately. Breaking away, he replied “I can’t wait until we don’t have to stop anymore. I hope these two weeks go by quickly.”

Courtney woke up, reaching across the bed, and almost panicked when she felt it empty and cold, but then she remembered where she was. Carly was being silly about Jason and Courtney not seeing each other before the wedding, but they had given in, so she had stayed at Sonny and Carly’s last night. Courtney couldn’t believe everything she and Carly had accomplished in just two weeks. They had decided to get married in Jason’s Penthouse, their Penthouse. She wanted to walk down the stairs in the place that would be their home and marry him in their living room. As always, Jason agreed, knowing it would make her happy. Once he had agreed, she and Carly had worked to turn his place from a bachelor pad to a place they could get married. They had painted the walls, had flowers and candles placed everywhere and now it was time.

They had decided to keep the wedding party small. Carly would stand up with Courtney and Sonny would stand up with Jason. The only other people present would be Mike, to walk Courtney down the aisle, and some of the Quartermaines, namely Monica and Lila. Ever since her stay in the hospital, Courtney had actually come to enjoy Monica’s company, and Jason was becoming closer to her as well.

“Courtney?” she heard Sonny say as he knocked on the door.

“You can come in Sonny, I’m up.”

He smiled as he came in. “Breakfast is almost ready, and Carly said you two have a lot to take care of before tonight.” He walked in and sat down beside her on the bed. “Are you sure you’re ready to do this?”

“Sonny, don’t, everything is perfect…”

“Shhh.” He whispered, cutting her off. “I don’t mean it like that. I just want to make sure that you are happy. I know Jason loves you, and he would do anything for you. I really am happy for you, I just want to make sure you are.”

“I promise you, I am. I know you think I’m young, and I know I did a stupid thing by not listening to you and everyone else about A.J., but I this is real. You are right, he does love me, and he would do anything for him, and I feel the same way. I am ready to do this. By the end of the night, I will be Mrs. Jason Morgan.”

“Good, then it’s time to get out of bed. No more being lazy for you.” And with that, he pulled the covers off of her, and pushed her off the bed. She responded by picking up a pillow and hitting him. Grabbing the other pillow, Sonny started hitting in her in return. Carly, hearing all the commotion, came upstairs and found them beating each other with the pillows. She stood there in the doorway watching them for a minute. Then, she decided enough was enough.

“Whoa! Hold on there,” she yelled. But as soon as she did, she realized she was in trouble. They both turned towards her, and with smiles on their faces, they started swinging at her. She screamed and ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs. They followed her, and she continued screaming. As they reached the living room, she realized she was cornered, and had no hope of help. Just as she started screaming again, the door burst open.

“What? What’s wrong?” Jason yelled as he ran into the room. “I could here screaming all the way over at my place.” But as he finished speaking, his eyes took in the sight around him. Carly was standing with her back against the couch almost doubled over in laughter. Sonny and Courtney stood near her with pillows in their hands, their eyes twinkling. There was not a time in his life, that he could remember, when his family was having more fun.

“Jason!” Carly yelled. “Get out! You know you are not supposed to see Courtney today!”

“Fine,” he replied, laughing. “See if I ever come over here again to help.” He glanced at Courtney, and his pulse quickened with the thought of tonight. As their eyes met, he knew she was thinking of it also. He couldn’t wait.

As the door closed, Carly turned back towards her husband and her sister-in-law. “Okay, truce. We have a lot to do today.”

“You’re right. We do have a lot to do today. Let me run upstairs and get dressed, and then we’ll go.” She ran up the stairs, and Carly turned to her husband. He smiled sheepishly.

“Hey,” he shrugged. “You just got in the way.” He put his arms around her waist, and she drew hers around his neck.

“Do you know how much I love you Mr. Corinthos?” she asked.

“Yeah, I do.” And he drew her into a kiss.

“Do you know how happy I am at this moment?” she asked, drawing away from him. “I am married to a wonderful man, I have a great relationship with my sister-in-law, and tonight, she is making my best friend a member of my family.”

“They really are going to be happy, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, sweetie, they are.”

Thirty minutes later, Courtney came down the stairs. She was looking for Carly, ready to go, when the door opened. It was Marco. “Ms. Matthews? I have a delivery for you.”

“Thanks, Marco. Just set it here.” She smiled as he carried in a huge bouquet of flowers.

“There’s a card too,” he said, as he handed it to her.

Courtney immediately recognized Jason’s handwriting. She sat down on the couch and opened the envelope to start reading the note.

I ordered these flowers a week ago because I wanted you to have them this morning. But when I saw you in there earlier, I decided to include a note as well. I have never seen my family as happy as I saw them this morning, and I know it is because of you. You bring a light into our world that somehow brightens everything. I never knew how much you brightened my life until this morning. Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved you, but this morning, I saw you in a different light, and I can’t wait until you are my wife.

I love you with everything I have, and with all that I am. You complete me Courtney, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Just think, in a few hours, you will be Mrs. Jason Morgan. Please know I will be thinking of you every minute today, and counting down the hours until we become man and wife.

Courtney wiped away the tears that had come up while she was reading the letter. She closed it and sighed a happy sigh. She couldn’t make the day pass fast enough.

“Carly,” she yelled. “Are you ready.”

“Yeah, I was just giving you time to read Jason’s note. It was from him, right?” Courtney nodded, but Carly continued. “You have no idea what you have done for him, do you? I have never seen him like this, even when we were together,” she added, laughing. “He loves you so much.”

“I know he does, and I love him too. So, lets get going so we can make this day go faster.

-----------------------------

Several hours later, an exhausted Carly and an antsy Courtney stopped at Kelly’s for some lunch. They had had a busy morning: getting manicures and pedicures, doing some final shopping for the honeymoon, getting their hair done, and finally, one last fitting in the wedding dress. Courtney couldn’t wait for Jason to see it. She pictured the way his face would look as she walked down those stairs on Mike’s arm. Courtney had decided while they were there that she would check in with Bobbie one last time before leaving. Carly had told her it wasn’t necessary, but she wanted to anyway. The truth was, she was thinking of not coming back to work after she and Jason got back, but she hadn’t told anyone yet. She just wanted to wait.

Leaving Carly up front ordering for them, she walked to the back, but as she rounded the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks. The voices she heard were familiar, and she knew it was Jason and Elizabeth. She knew she shouldn’t be listening in, but before she could walk in, their conversation made her stop.

“Jason, I want you to be happy.”

“How can you be? She can’t give you what you want.”

“And what do you know about what I want?”

“I know, because I know you. I’ve known you longer, and I know everything there is to know about you. I messed up when I walked out of your life, and I know that now. I can handle it.”

“Maybe you can, but….”

“No, no buts. Listen, you have to know how I feel about you. You’ve always known there was some connection between us. Besides, I know that you have always wanted a family, and she can’t give you that. I can.”

“How the hell do you know about that?”

“I have my ways. The point is Jason, how can you look me in the eye and tell me that doesn’t kill you inside? How can you say you don’t want this?”

Courtney couldn’t take it any longer. She turned the corner to give Elizabeth a piece of her mind, but she was shocked at what she saw. There was Elizabeth with her hands wrapped around the man she was going to marry in a few hours, with her lips on his. She ran out of the room and ran into Carly as she was leaving Kelly’s.

“Courtney,” Carly asked. “What is it sweetie? Are you crying?”

“Jason. Elizabeth.” She managed to get out between sobs. “I saw…I saw…I can’t” she said, brushing past Carly and running out the door.

Carly lost it. She knew Elizabeth would do anything to get Jason back, and she stormed to the back room, surprised at what she heard.

“Don’t ever touch me like that again,” Jason was yelling. “You don’t know me, you never did. And whatever you think we had, it was nothing compared to what I feel for Courtney. She is my life. Whatever you heard about us not being able to have a family, forget it. She is my family, and I love her.”

“Jase, you don’t mean that. You’re just angry and hurt. I understand; you are staying with her because you pity her. And when you’ve had enough of pitying her, you can always come back here.”

Jason walked towards Elizabeth, backing her against a wall. “Look into my eyes, and listen to me. Don’t ever forget what I am telling you. I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us. I do not love you. I never have and I never will. At one point, I cared for you, but it wasn’t love. The woman I love is waiting for me, and I am marrying her tonight. Do not ever try something like this again. And before you even think about, don’t go anywhere near my wife or my family.”

With that, Jason spun out of the room, furious, and ran into Carly. “What are you doing here?” he asked, practically yelling. “I thought you and Courtney were taking care of some stuff. Is she here?” He started looking around.

“Jase,” Carly broke in quietly. “She was here. She came back here to find my Mom. I don’t know what happened a few moments ago between you and Elizabeth, but she must have seen it, because she came running out of here, crying. I don’t know where she went.”

“Oh, God! She must have heard Elizabeth talking about us not having children.”

“How does she know that?”

“I don’t know, but after she said it, she told me she could give me the family Courtney couldn’t. I pray she didn’t hear that. What did she say as she left?”

“That’s just it Jason. She didn’t say she heard anything; she said she saw it. What did she see?”

“Carly, Elizabeth kissed me. As soon as she did, I pushed her off and told her never to do that again.”

“Yeah, that’s when I came in.”

“I’ve really messed this up. We are supposed to be getting married in a few hours, and if she saw that, she thinks I am in here seeing my old girlfriend again, making out with her. I have to find her. Carly, can you get back with everything by yourself? I need to…”

“Go, Jason.” Carly cut in. “Go find Courtney. I know you can explain everything to her. I’ll see you in a few hours.” Jason ran out of Kelly’s to start searching for the only woman he had ever loved.

--------------------------------

Courtney sat on a bench at the docks. She wasn’t sure how she had ended up there. After the horrible scene she had witnessed between Jason and Elizabeth, she just started running. In her heart, she knew Jason loved her, but she couldn’t figure out what happened. She knew she should have stayed, but she couldn’t face either one of them. ‘Why does this always happen to me?’ she thought. ‘Why do I always give someone my heart, just to have them tear it apart?’ She sighed.

Tears were falling down her face as she reached into her pocket, pulling out the note she had received from Jason this morning. She had wanted to feel close to him all day, so she had carried the note with her, reaching her hand in her pocket from time to time. Opening the letter, she started to read the words again. She had to start over several times, because the tears filled her eyes. Pressing the note against her heart, she hung her head and sobbed. She didn’t know what to think.

“I meant everything I said in that note,” she heard him say quietly behind her.

She turned her head to face him, and he could see that she had been crying. It broke his heart to know he had been the cause of her pain.

“Courtney,” he said, walking towards her. “I don’t know exactly what you saw at Kelly’s, but you have to know what happened.”

“I know what happened,” she replied angrily. “Carly and I ran around all day, getting ready for our wedding, and when I stop to have a late lunch, I find my fiance and his ex-girlfriend kissing.”

“Baby, it wasn’t like that.”

“So you’re going to deny what I saw. That’s right, Jason, I just made it up.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. What you saw was correct, but it didn’t mean anything. Elizabeth was trying to convince me that she is the only one who can give me what I want. She asked me how I could deny that I wanted her, and then she leaned in and kissed me. If only you could have stayed there a few seconds later, because I pushed her off and told her for the last time that I only wanted you, and that you are my family.”

“You didn’t kiss her back?”

“No, sweetie! Why would I do that? We’re getting married in a few hours. I would never do anything to jeopardize what we have.” By the time he finished speaking, he was only a few inches away from her. He looked at her, and whispered, almost desperately, “we are still getting married in a few hours, right?”

She looked up into his eyes, and knew he loved her. But, she also knew that Elizabeth was right. She couldn’t give Jason the family he wanted. He hadn’t even mentioned what Elizabeth said about children, and she knew he was trying to protect her. Her eyes filled with tears, as she got ready to tell him she didn’t know.

“Baby?” Jason cut in to her thoughts. “I need to tell you something else. We said honesty always, and I need to tell you this. I don’t know how Elizabeth knew, but she found out what happened during the surgery. She knows we might not be able to have children, and that’s why she said she could give me what I wanted. What she doesn’t understand is that you are my family, and that we have not yet even begun to fight. We have come this far, don’t walk out on us now.”

She turned her back to him, to collect her thoughts. As usual, he had read her mind. She knew she needed him, and she couldn’t walk away from him. She turned around and saw him standing there, terrified that his world was about to crash around him.

“I’m not walking anywhere, except down the aisle to marry you,” she said as she reached up to kiss him passionately. They pulled away, foreheads touching, both of them deliriously happy. “Now,” she continued. “Don’t we have somewhere to be?”

Carly knocked on the door. “Courtney? Are you ready?”

Courtney turned to face Carly, with a huge smile spread across her face. “Yeah I am. Why don’t you send my Dad up, and you can go ahead and go downstairs.”

Carly turned to leave the room, when Courtney stopped her. “Carly, thank you - for everything.” Carly rushed back in the room to hug her sister-in-law. They stood there for a minute, both ready to cry at any moment.

Carly pulled back, and laughed, trying to keep them from crying. “Don’t think that just because you have said ‘thank you’ that I am going to tell you where you are going for your honeymoon.”

“Not even a hint?”

“No! Now, I’m going downstairs to calm down my husband and your soon to be husband. I’m sure that by now, they are both about to freak out. I’ll see you in a couple of minutes, sweetie.”

Carly walked out of the door, and Courtney turned around to check herself in the mirror one more time. She couldn’t wait to see Jason’s face as she walked down the aisle. She took a breath, and turned to walk out of the room, running into her Dad.

“You look beautiful honey,” he said, hugging her. “Jason’s a lucky man. Are you ready to do this?”

She took his hand, smiled, and said, “let’s go.”

She could hear the music playing downstairs, and knew it was time. She linked her arm in her father’s and started walking down the stairs. As she reached the halfway point, she caught Jason’s eyes, and was surprised to see tears there. She smiled.

‘She is so beautiful,’ Jason thought to himself as he saw her. She looked like an angel, his angel, walking towards him. The dress was long and clung to her body in all the right places, but it was more than the dress. She was bathed in a light that seemed to radiate from her, a light that seemed to come from her heart, and pointed straight to his.

As she reached him, he took her hand and whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The minister started, but Courtney didn’t hear his words. She looked around her. Everyone that mattered was here in his room. She looked behind Jason to Sonny. Laughter entered her mind as she thought about how much she had fought against Sonny when she first came here. Now, he was so important to her. Then she glanced at her father. She loved him so much, even with all the pain he had caused her. Then, there were the Quartermaines - Monica and Lila. Jason had been hesitant to have them here at first, but he gave in once he realized how much she wanted them here. Besides, it had been good for Jason to have some of his family stand beside him for once. Her thoughts then turned to Carly. She didn’t know what she would do without her sister-in-law. The two of them had become so close, and Courtney leaned on her for quite a bit. She had never really had a girlfriend, and now she had the best of both worlds - a girlfriend who was family.

Finally, her thoughts turned to Jason. She gazed at him, getting lost in his eyes. It amazed her how someone could feel so much love for another individual, and how that individual could feel that love back in return. She had never been happier in her entire wife than she was at this moment.

“Courtney?” the minister’s voice broke into her reverie. “ Do you take Jason to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you love him, honor him, respect him, and keep him always unto thee, till death do you part?”

“Do you have the rings?” the minister asked. Sonny and Carly placed the rings in their hands. “Jason, place the ring on Courtney’s finger and repeat after me. With this ring, I give you my heart, and pledge my life to you.”

“With this ring,” Jason started, but he couldn’t continue. He felt a tear trickle down his face. Courtney reached her hand up, to brush it away. He took a deep breath and continued. “With this ring, I give you my heart, and pledge my life to you.” He slipped the ring on her finger, never breaking their gaze.

“Courtney,” the minister continued, “place the ring on Jason’s finger and repeat after me. With this ring, I give you my heart, and pledge my life to you.”

She placed the ring on his finger, and looked into his eyes. “With this ring, I give you my heart, and pledge my life to you.”

The minister continued the ceremony. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

With that, Jason took a step towards his wife and placed his hands on her face. “ I love you Mrs. Morgan,” he said as he leaned in to kiss his wife for the first time.

They broke away from their amazing kiss, and looked at each other for a second, before turning to face their family. They both knew what the other one was thinking. It was time to get out of here.