Chapter 11

Jason stared at himself in the mirror.He had on his shirt,tie and dress pants.Today was Courtney's funeral and today he knew it would really set in,she was never coming home again.Jason pushed back the tears that threatened to fall,he wanted to be strong for Courtney,he wanted to make her happy.Jason walked out of his bedroom and into the living room.He looked around at the mess he had made the night before. He saw the picture of him and Courtney sitting on the coffee table and walked over and sat down on the couch. He cautiously picked up the picture and placed his thumb on her face.She was smiling so brightly and so was he,they were so happy.Despite all thier problems they both loved the other more than anything,looking up at the ceiling he sighed.

"What am I going to do without her god?"Jason asked the empty room "I use to like my life just fine before she came along,but ever since she came along it seems as if nothing else mattered,but her.I don't know how to live without her.I just want her to walk through the door and smile at me. I wish I could have her tell me everything would be okay.What am I going to do?"

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Carly walked downstairs and stopped as she looked at her husband.He was standing by the mantle looking at the family picture.He was in another world as he stared particularly at Courtney's face.

"Sonny"Carly called,but he didn't respond

"Sonny"She called slightly louder this time,he turned to her.

He smiled for her "Hey honey"

"Are you okay?"Carly asked

"Yeah,ofcourse"Sonny answered

"Sonny,I know how hard this is for you,but you don't have to hold in all your emotions just because you want to be strong for me"Carly said approaching her husband.

"I know,it's just I am trying to tell myself that everything's going to be fine,but I know thats not true.I mean I lived without Courtney for thirty years of my life,but now that I know what it's like to have her in my life.I don't want to let go you know"Sonny whispered "I just wish that we could have one more day together as a family"

"I know Sonny.It's going to be hard for all of us,but we can do it"Carly encouraged

"You might be able to be strong and I might be able to be strong,but Jason is cracking like an egg"Sonny whispered.

"Jason misses her as do we all"Carly whispered "We have to be strong for ourselves and for each other"

"I want to be strong Carly,but it's so hard"Sonny said

Carly nodded "We can do it Sonny"

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"We are gathered here today in honor of Courtney Morgan. I know that your all thinking,It's not fair and it isn't,but god decided it was her turn to go and we can't change that.It's trully a tragedy that we had to lose her,but god is with her and I'm sure she is here right now in spirits,giving us all strength to carry on"the revrend preached "Now I would like to turn the spotlight over to Courtney's husband Jason Morgan"

Jason sighed as he stood to approach the front of the church.He stood and looked at everyone,they were looking back at him with sympathetic and caring eyes and this was something new to Jason.

"Thank you...all for coming here today to honor my wife,I appreciate it very much.Courtney was a wonderful person and she didn't deserve to go the way she did,but I guess revrend Coates is right,it was her time to go. However,I can't help wondering why it was her and not me.I wish that I could change this...I wish I could make her walk through the door and smile at me,because then I would know everything's going to be okay.I miss her so much,I lie awake and wish she were with me and with us all"Jason told the church
"If I could have one last wish it would be to spend one last minute with my wife"

Robin couldn't believe her hears as she listened "How could Jason possibly love this woman so much?"she asked herself

Carly felt herself losing it as she heard Jason's speech,she looked over towards Sonny who was staring off far into space.Sonny was falling apart just as much as herself and Jason.

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