>The Docks

[Jason and Courtney see each other and stop]

Courtney: Hi

Jason: Are you all right?

Courtney: Yeah. Well, I thought so. You know, I truly thought that I was over it. But -- then last night, I glanced at the calendar, and I remembered -- I remembered waking up in that clinic and hearing that -- hearing the doctors say that I'd lost our baby. And then I remembered thinking that jason doesn't even know. I never told him about our baby. And I'lllways be sorry for that. Oh -- oh, god.

Jason: I don't -- I don't want you to be sorry for anything to do with me, ok?

Courtney: I know. It's one of your best qualities. You don't guilt people or hold on to the past or -- or miss what could have been. I was actually surprised that you -- that you remembered the exact date.

Jason: I remember all of it. You know, how you -- how you looked lying in the clinic. You were asleep, but they said that you'd been sedated, but I could tell that you'd been crying. And I remember carrying you out, driving back to the plane. We took off. I sat there holding you. All I wanted was for you just to wake up and know I was with you.

Jason: I mean, I left for a second, and that's -- that's when you opened your eyes. You must have still thought that you were alone.

Courtney: You were holding me before I could think anything. Telling me that I was going to be safe and that everything was ing to be ok. Is that what you want?

Jason: I don't understand.

Courtney: It's just such an ordinary word, you know. "How are you feeling?" "Ok." "How were the movies?" "Ok." Anno one reaches a higher level of consciousness, but no one gets their hearts broken, either. My life is ok without our baby. I guess yours is, too.

Jason: Yeah. Yeah.

Courtney: You know, I do miss what we could have had. Not -- not every day. Not all the time. This morning, I woke up and I thought about being more than just ok. And I -- I remembered how it felt to be carrying your child.

Jason: Look, I don't -- I don't know if that kind of pain gets easier over time when you just -- you know, you bury it deeper. But I want it to be easier for you. And if it helps to know someone else remembers, I do. And I always will.

Courtney: It helps a lot.

PH2

Sam: Oh come here…please…

[Jason comes in and sees Sam struggling with Morgan, as in dragging him across the couch.]

Sam: Oh am I glad you're here I need your help.

Jason: What's up buddy?

Sam: Help me. [he takes Morgan]

Jason: Come here. What's going on? Where's carly? Here you go.

Sam: He crawls away every time he looks at me. And carly -- I don't know. She went out. She -- she left him here with me.

Jason: Yeah?

Sam: Michael is with leticia.

Jason: Mm-hmm.

Sam: She asked me to keep an eye on him, and -- and also asked if you would do it. And here I am asking you. I'm so frazzled right now.

Jason: Ok.

Sam: Please -- I will- ay you anything.

Jason: You don't have any money. Tell her.

Sam: Ok. Well, I'll eat anything you want, and I'm not going to complain if you drink any coffee. Please, think I've already done permanent damaghere.

Jason: Sam -- sam, babies can sense panic. They know when you're upset.

Sam: I told you. See?

Jason: Yeah.

Sam: I did. I made him nervous.

Jason: But it's ok. It's natural, ok? When carly had morgan, she couldn't take care him, so courtney and I filled in. And courtney was nervous -- at first, but -- you know, she really took to it on instinct. You know, her and morgan connected.

Sam: Are you ok?

[Jason is standing over Morgan's playpen]

Jason: He's definitely happier now.

Sam: Do you want to telme what's up with you?

Jason: I'm fine.

Sam: Am I supposed to believe that? And if I do, is it any different than a lie?

Jason: Today, one year ago, courtney miscarried.

Sam: I'm sorry.

Jason: Yeah, I didn't even know that she was -- you know, she was pregnant. Before I found out, the baby was already gone.

Sam: Jason, that must have been terrible for you.

Jason: Sometimes, I just wonder what, you know, would have happened if I would've gotten to courtney before she tried to --

sam: Hey --

jason: Help herself.

Sam: You don't strike me as the "what if" kind of guy.

Jason: I'm not.

[Knock on door]

Sam: I'll get it.

Jason: No, no, it's ok.

[Courtney's at the door]

Courtney: I got a message from carly saying that morgan needed an emergency babysitter.

Sam: Yeah, carly had to leave and there was no one to take care of the baby, so I was -- anyway, I'm -- I'm sure she wanted you to look after morgan before I could do any permanent damage.

Courtney: Well, it looks like you guys have got things covered.

Sam: I could really use a break, actually. Um -- see you around.  [she leaves]

Courtney: Do you need some help?

[Courtney is standing on the stairs watching Jason play with Morgan]

Jason: Hey, you like that.

Courtney: Hey. You know, you've got the magic touch for these kids. Michael and morgan love you.

Jason: Well, you're great with them, too.

Courtney: You know our baby would have been just a few months younger than him.

Jason: Yeah

Courtney: You know one night, when I first realized I was pregnant, you and I were lying in bed together and I almost told you.

Jason: Why'd you stop?

Courtney: You fell asleep.  Things were just so crazy then Jason, you know Carly was still gone.  At that moment, I realized that we were a family.  Just the three of us in that bed together.  God, I should have said something.

Jason: No Courtney, it's not, it's no one's fault.  What happened happened.

Courtney: Yeah um I think you got this covered.  Bye sweetie. Would you just tell Carly I stopped by.

Jason: Yeah

[She rushed out and Jason looks after her, pained by her pain.]

Later…

[Sam comes home]

Sam: Is Courtney still here?

Jason: she left awhile ago.  It was hard for her to be around Morgan, he reminds her of the baby we lost.

Sam: Does he do the same for you?

Jason: I love Morgan for who he is, just like I am going to love this baby. Nothing can replace the child Courtney and I lost.

Sam: But do you think if the baby would have been born, you two would have still be together.

Jason: That's not what happened. You can't talk about a life you never had.

Outside the Loft

[Jax is waiting with flowers]

Jax: Hey.

Courtney: Jax. Hey

Jax:  Look I know that you are sad today and I know why.

Courtney: How'd you find out?

Jax: I saw your face when you were looking at the calendar and took it from there.

Courtney: Look I'm sorry I didn’t explain.

Jax: Well it's a personal loss.  I don't want to push you, I just wanted to give you these and let you know I'm thinking about you.

Courtney: Why don't you come in.

[They go inside]

Courtney: I'll put these in some water.

[She drops her keys and they both go to pick them up.  They start kissing]

Jax: Courtney…

Courtney: I don't want to talk.  [she is at the point of crying, and it's obvious she is doing anything to cover the pain of losing the baby]